my baller sonnet

[trogdor1134]

Aeons it took to have thee in my grasp It’s true thine beauty that unfolds is pure With power do thou conquer like an asp Our love has been called tainted and obscure Yet we shall secure your right to defend Debate shall they about our right to be married My love is chaste impure can’t tend Your beauty hidden deep as Impures decried Yet love for my Athena soars above The highest bird from sea to sea surely Beauty immense never appease the drove Such beauty can’t be free prematurely Follow dear sweet our love has just began Through your glory shall we halt acts of man (if you want in a day or two i'll post the topic of the sonnet is if you guys can't figure it out) pleez critique and question. honest opinion

[Folqueraine]

Well, it does soung good, like those classic sonnets. Now, English's not my mother tongue so I don't get it all, and if there's a message I didn't get it at all! Except the bit about marriage... It talks to me because today I wrote my first poem after a several year-long dryspell, and it was about a more or less forbidden union. Funny. Sorry, I'm rambling, I hope someone will have more constructive criticism!

[trogdor1134]

this sonnet is in the style of shakespeare yet it is a comment on korea and nuclear weapons. it is in the mind of korea speaking to the WMDs as if it were their love.