• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    1. #1
      Lucid Scholar Dirtbiker_CRF's Avatar
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      Finished my Animation!!!!

      This is the first major animation that i ever finished, it was made as a project for the grade 1 kids in my school. That is why it is a children cartoon. Anyway, you can see it here, comments apreciated, please rate.

    2. #2
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      It's okay for a first project, but I have a couple of critiques. Mainly, the transitions are very long, and while it might be okay for kids (I don't know), it's rather akward to just sit there waiting for the next scene or line. Also, the dialogue is very broken, so you could probably speed that up, too, if you could.

      And did you come up with the story yourself?

      And per ending song.... and your sig.... Nice! (Kind of akward for the kids, though...)

      "If there was one thing the lucid dreaming ninja writer could not stand, it was used car salesmen."

    3. #3
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      It was okay for a project for kids, and it was good for your very first animation, but what I didn't understand, was how Jasper the bunny ran away in the middle of the night after he went to bed, and came home a short amount of time later while his family were eating dinner...? Had he actually been gone the whole night and the next day?
      Last edited by indescribable; 07-06-2007 at 02:33 AM.

    4. #4
      someone needs a tummy rub Achievements:
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      dude, the owl scared the s*it out of me


    5. #5
      Lucid Scholar Dirtbiker_CRF's Avatar
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      Yeah, i came up with the story myself. The story moves slowly so that the kids can keep up. Same with the transition, and as for the japanese song, the kids will laugh cause it sounds funny.

    6. #6
      bro
      USA bro is offline
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      Wow man, well done, I don't know if many people understand how hard it is to animate. I did some with flash and it took me a long time to make 1 cartoon, but then again, I may have been doing it wrong.

      Some reccomendations:

      Less cheesy is better (unless of course you aim to please kids)
      As Mes said, speed it up, and lessen the gaps.
      Fix the sound, so there is no wind noise.

      Again well done, keep practicing, incredible for your first, I enjoyed the owl man
      Brothers & Sisters in Dreams

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