• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    Results 1 to 2 of 2
    1. #1
      Banned
      Join Date
      Jul 2004
      Gender
      Location
      Ontario, Canada
      Posts
      454
      Likes
      12

      my poems constructive critisism plz!

      The way

      The air was flying in the plane but the plane was flying in the passengers,
      the sky was upsidedown riding purple horses happily,
      the little midget on my doorstep was eating a chipunks hair,
      while to moon wasn't there.

      How could it?

      white is not black but black just might be white,
      the ground is slippery but not as much as my fist on a brick wall,
      if you look closley at a bird you will see albert einstein,
      a screwdriver can open your eyes to the whole world!

      People are forgetfull

      the earth was shaking,
      the money makers were money making,
      the optimistics were pestimistic,
      i forgot to take a shower this morning.

      History lesson

      when the ground rumbles it is a mystery,
      when a homless man takes a shit on your lawn now that is a mystery,
      when you trip on a turtle and puncture your knee cap thats a mystery,
      if all of the above has happend to you then you have made history.

    2. #2
      Member Vampyre's Avatar
      Join Date
      Jul 2004
      Gender
      Location
      Ontario Canada
      Posts
      285
      Likes
      1
      Kinda ... strange. and has a few errors, I think...

      Aside from that, it's just weird... I dunno, I don't get much else from it

    Bookmarks

    Posting Permissions

    • You may not post new threads
    • You may not post replies
    • You may not post attachments
    • You may not edit your posts
    •