The Joan of Arc Rap

[Noske]

I couldn't help it. I just love my little French Fry so much that I had to write a rap about her. YO YO YO! Check it out, dawg! -Attempts to make gang signs, but fails horribly due to being Australian.- Oh, and don't forget to leave a comment and tell me what you think. I AM AN ARTIST! I thrive on these things, you know. -------------------- I'm here to tell a story 'Bout The Maid of Orléans, Six hundred years ago But her legend still carries on. Raised in Domrémy, Orléans is her turf. En Français, Her age is dix-neuf. Born in 1412, The eighth day before Ides, The youngest of the family; A little French fry. When the bells did ring, Down on her knees she would pray, Instead of playing with her friends, She'd be in church all day. Joanie had three saints; Mickey, Marge and Cat, Did whatever they said, Cos God was all-o-that. At first they argued, They couldn't agree. But Mickey had his way; With war they'd set France free. So it was off to Chinon To see a bloke called Charlie With a horse and a standard, Now she had her own army. Marched off to Orléans On her way to Reims, With her hair cut short, Yeah, she was one of them. Snuck into the city Captured Les Tourelles, With God on her side, English morale fell. But it wasn't just her battles That she was well-known for; But also for the way That she had treated the poor. She cared for them deeply, They were treated with love. She was liberal with alms, Was one of God's sweet doves. Jehanne was real nice And even kinda funny. I bet she's cuddly too; My Eucharistic easter bunny. But it all could not be; Her attack on Paris had failed Burgundy sold her, And to the English was mailed. She was stuck in prison And then put on trial, But the way that they had treated her Was really quite vile. On the cold prison floor, Curled up in a ball Jehanne was all alone, She had no one at all. But Jehanne stayed strong And she stayed smart. She had the lines of questioning Down to an art. "I'll pull your ears!" Yeah, that's what she said To the scribe at her trial When the wrong things were read. Stuck back in her cell And beaten by the guard, Already bruised and dirty From a life that was hard. The fish was poisoned, The chicken no good, And if you think that's bad, The steak was made of wood. The English didn't like her; Called her a liar, Taped her to a stick And said "Kill it with fire." She signed a confession, And then took it back But now the Church was angry; They were on the attack. Kissed by the flames, And surrounded by fire, A white dove from heaven Then flew over her pyre. Martyr she was, Sinner she ain't, With "Jesus!" on her lips, They had just killed a saint. Unlike the dove, Jehanne never sang or danced, But who really cares? She's the Flower of France.

[Sornaensis]

No.

[Noske]

-Looks around, sticks with a knife, and then casually sweeps the body of Seismosaur under the nearest bed.- =D

[Man of Steel]

-Looks around, sticks with a knife, and then casually sweeps the body of Seismosaur under the nearest bed.- =D Finally, somebody did it! I'm not sure about that as a rap, but it's a good something. Just doesn't really flow as a rap. Your rhyming scheme isn't right, I think.

[Noske]

Oh no, it flows. You need to quicken it a little in some places, such as the easter bunny. But it definately does flow, because I've spoken it out loud before. For example, with pauses in the right spots, that verse should sound/look like this... "Jehanne was real nice...... An'ev'n kinda funny...... I bet she's cuddly too myooka-ristic eesta bunny." Might just be because of my Aussie accent, but not all raps will have perfectly the same flow throughout it when read like a poem, because they often rely on how you pause or pronounce the words and string them together. If I had any idea of how to actually make an audio file, and if I actually could rap decently I would have posted that. But yeah. I can't on both of those accounts. I suck. I'm a writer, not a singer. But I'm glad I have your seal of approval.

[Dizko]

I loved it ^^