Thread: What Happened To Me Last Yesterday

What Happened To Me Last Yesterday
A story I wrote which you better love or you will die.

The rain was pelting down outside while Rebecca whiled away her time playing her lastest video game purloined from a combination of flirting with the store clerk to get 50% off and a bit of pickpocketing here and there. She was just contemplating how to pass the Level 11 boss when suddenly the power went out, plunging her unexpectedly into complete darkness.

"Fuck it all! And I was so close to the save point!" she exclaimed, throwing the controller at the television screen with such force it bounced off the television and knocked over the bowl containing the mingled remains of last night's soup, and a mouldy sock which had probably crawled there under its own power from the washing basket nearby, and had began to emit a rather worrying stench. which, among the other cluttered mess.

"Fuck it again!" she exclaimed, as she watched the bowl get knocked off the table, drenching her floor. However, she did not bother to clean it up; being as the flat was in such a state, a pool of soup with a sock floating resigdenly about in it was nothing compared to some of the things you could find if one was to look closely. However, you probably wouldn't want to do so without the aid of a gas mask and several shotguns in case some garbage monster sprang out at you from the piles of old Cola cans and screwed up newspapers.

The truth was, however much Rebecca tried to deny it, she was a complete, utter, average slob. There was nothing special about her; she was just one of the countless human beings running their life from start to finish; making no more than a few hundered thousand dollars while some above-average slob gets it all back again when they spend it.

The only way she managed to get by was playing console games to alleviate her depression, and flirting with various people to, if she could, get things for free. Because, for Rebecca, free was the best. word. ever.

As she sat on the floor staring near-blind into the darkness, she thought quietly about her life. It had never had any good points. The most exciting thing that, in the past 20 years, had ever happened to her, was when one of her neighbours accidentaly dropped $20, and she had the presence of mind to, as any good neighbourly person would, pick it up before they noticed it's absence from their wallet.

That was it.

Time to start over again, she thought. Anything could be better than this. She was about to pack when she realised she had nothing of value to pack, and half the items were stolen anyway, so it was probably better to just leave it all as it was. So, she picked herself up off the ground, and trekked to her door, feeling completly uplifted about her new choice, when she majestically toppled over her sofa before landing head first onto the ground, whereupon she blanked out.

* * *

"She's coming to, doctor."

"Doctor?"

Rebecca heard voices. That was odd. Nobody ever visited her flat, except the Health Inspector.

"Doctor?"

She groaned. "Doctor?", Rebecca said. "I'm not a doctor?"

"Oh dear". The blurry white and red blob in front of her tutted. "Delirium. I've been telling the good doctor, why not knock them out a much safer way? I don't know, anything other than them almost cracking their skulls each and every time. But no; he's too busy reading 'Disease Monthly' and dismisses me like I have no idea what I'm doing. But no, I know what I'm doing. Sure, 9 out of 10 of my patients die of some weird disease that I don't know about, but it's not like I have no idea what I'm dong. Why, if I was..."

Rebecca groaned again. "ss...s..."

"Yes, what is it dear?", the blob in front of her asked.

"ss...Shut up."

"Oh."

There was a pregnant pause.

"Well, as I was saying, the doctor has no idea what my level of intelligence actually is. I'll have him know that dodgy man of the street told me for $50 that my IQ was 250. And I'm no fool, he was legit alright..."

Rebecca sighed again, then noticed that everything was becoming much clearer. The blob was in fact a nurse. A damned loud mouth one, for sure. She sat up abruplty, then gasped and laid back down again.

They were in the middle of nowhere. That is, they were suspended high in the sky.

"Good...goodness!" was all Rebecca could say.

"Alright, dearie, you seem good enough to go. Get your fat bottom out the bed, quick."

Rebecca was about to, when she remembered that if she did she would fall off and hit the ground, as they were in mid air and gravity does not tend to miss a trick, except this one.

"Get up!"

"Oh, for goodness sake. Doctor! Help this patient here."

Another white blob ran over, which Rebecca assumed was a doctor.

"What's the problem?"
"Legs must be dysfunctional. Can't get out of bed."

"Alright, I'll fix it."

Rebecca was glad somebody professional was about to tend to her, not that half-witted thing feebly called a "nurse", when suddenly she felt herself being shoved out of bed. She turned round to see the doctor and nurse were upturning the bed.

"Wait! Wait! You don't understand! ARGH"

Rebecca fell out the bed and was falling towards the ground very quickly, the wind rushing through her ears. She was about to hit the ground. It was not going to be a pleasant experience. She touched the ground...

...And that's exactly when the universe imploded upon itself.

* * *

Rebecca was hurled through a mass of images, a boy being born, a monster roaring out of nowhere, a man signing a contract, a punk singing some punk song, a man building a ship, a person huddled in a cave, people looking at a fire, and suddenly everything stopped, before a small prick of white light appeared in the distance.

She walked towards it, her footsteps echoing against the hard, stone floor. At least; that's what it sounded like, as everything was black, rule out the small prick of light in the distance.

She walked closer. She walked so close to it, and looked right at it until it engulfed her whole view. Suddenly, out of nowhere, a beautiful figure appeared, taller than anything she had ever seen in her life. She supposed it was divine.

"I," announced the figure, "Am god."

She sat down, flabbergasted, but soon regained the power of speech. "Ok then, god, give me anwsers. Tell me what the HELL just happened back there. It was...insane."

"ha ha. no." Then he shot her with a lightning bolt and she died.

THE END

o_o yeah i got bored. you just wasted 5 minutes of your life. :P