I bought a book from the net when I was searching for suitable books to cure my OCD. I came upon one and I like the description. I finally got the book with the help of my friend's paypal a few days ago and I tried one of the steps, which is self-hypnosis, indicated in the book to find out what childhood experiences were causing me trauma till this day to cause a mental disorder.

I took a really long time to go into a relaxed state and I felt like my eyelids are subconsciously opening up even though I closed them. Is that normal? Because that happened to me too when I tried meditation with the help of a sound.

I guess I was partially successful after a long while as I see flashbacks of my past. But I was still rather aware of my surroundings. I might be able to recall those memories even without the help of engaging my subconscious because they seemed rather okay to me. But there was a point I almost felt like crying.

I was in the living room of my old house. Seems like my height went back to a kid's height again. I squat down to look at the decorative items in the cabinet and there was no one around. Before that I was probably at other places with no one around too. I turned to look at the kitchen and my parents were arguing. Then the scene changed to where I was at that point of time when they argued really badly - in my bedroom, under my blanket, listening to their quarrel and shouts. One of the flashback consists of me looking at my father sitting on his chair at a taller height but I didn't speak a word to him.

Spoiler for Self-hypnosis steps indicated in the book:


AM I DOING IT RIGHT?