Tell me the stupidest thing you've ever heard

[trigotron]

For me, there it's a tie between these two: "Is steel a metal?" and "Hey, that stop sign looks different, how many sides is it supposed to have?" (while she's DRIVING)

[Vex Kitten]

From my sister who was a college grad before me... "I had this pain in my nose right here" *she points to her neck just above her shoulder* And it's caught on video too. HAHA. Makes me wonder how the hell she got through highschool AND college.

[Man of Steel]

"Why is this knife so sharp?!" Drives me crazy every time I hear it. Which is way more often than you might think. Also - and this happened to me in our small-town grocery store just the other day - the cashier, at seeing my medium-sized (almost 5" blade, 9 1/2" overall) fixed-blade knife mounted horizontally on my belt, at my left hip, asked me, "What's that for?" I responded simply, "Cutting things." She then wanted to know, "What kind of things?" So I said, "Things that need cutting." (Yeah, I can be a real smartass sometimes. Man of few words, that's me...) Then she said, "Not people, I hope." Silly woman. "No, of course not!" "Well, you be careful with that..." "Oh, I will. Thank you." By then my transaction was made, and I went on my way. It's the first part, though, that just really grates on my nerves. It's a knife, for crying out loud. What am I going to use it for? Making phone calls? You just don't know how tempted I was to respond: "Stupid people," or, "Oh, that's for making long-distance calls. Here's your sign." Sorry for the rant... I just wish the population in general was more knife/tool conscious. A knife is the most useful tool there is, nearabouts, and all too few people even carry a pocketknife, in large part because of the nation's (hell, the world's) misconception that anything with a blade is a weapon.

[NeAvO]

Oooh I got loads of these Mainly from when I was on holiday. One day my brother was thinking about chatting to this girl at the swimming pool, we were both swimming and he was asking me the best way to get into a conversation with him. I being the git that I am made small jokes about it, and spoke loudly about the girl only a few feet away from her. He then said: "Stop it, or you're going to get wet" --- While we were in the swimming pool Also another one was "Want to go for a swim"

[Mes Tarrant]

Man of Steel, that would have been friggin hilarious if you had said that!! :p Okay I have a friend who is, well, not that smart. She: Man I can't afford to move out of my parents' apartment, I don't have any money, I will never be able to travel, whine whine whine, I am so poor. Me: Well how much do you make... She: $500/week. (Now this is someone who works at a temporary job until she finds something she wants to do long-term, never went to college, is barely 21 years old, doesn't need to pay rent or buy food because she still lives at home.) Me: ... That's a lot... .... She: Well, when I see something I want I buy it right away.. I dunno this just pisses me off to no end. Edit: Same person: She: I can't afford college. Me: Well why don't you take out a loan? Or go to our local, really cheap, yet really credible community college? She: .... I dunno.

[trigotron]

the cashier, at seeing my medium-sized (almost 5" blade, 9 1/2" overall) fixed-blade knife mounted horizontally on my belt, at my left hip, asked me, "What's that for?" I responded simply, "Cutting things." She then wanted to know, "What kind of things?" So I said, "Things that need cutting." (Yeah, I can be a real smartass sometimes. Man of few words, that's me...) Then she said, "Not people, I hope." Silly woman. "No, of course not!" Um.... i don't know if i'm a minority here, but personally i think a 5" fixed blade knife is a little more than a pocketknife, and although i don't think i would even mention the knife to you if i was in the cashier's shoes, i would definitely have that same conversation going on inside my head... "i wonder what that blade is for? does he work in with things that need cutting? Does he have it for self defense?... etc" Whether people mention it or not, i think people will definitely notice a knife that large and some people will even feel intimidated. My long winded point is: she said, "Not people, I hope." Silly woman. "No, of course not!" isn't as obvious an assumption as you might think, especially if you live in an "urban" neighborhood. EDIT: all too few people even carry a pocketknife, in large part because of the nation's (hell, the world's) misconception that anything with a blade is a weapon. yes i carry a pocketknife myself but i think that i'm not a minority when i say that a knife as long as you describe IS considered a weapon.

[Man of Steel]

Um.... i don't know if i'm a minority here, but personally i think a 5" fixed blade knife is a little more than a pocketknife, and although i don't think i would even mention the knife to you if i was in the cashier's shoes, i would definitely have that same conversation going on inside my head... My long winded point is: isn't as obvious an assumption as you might think, especially if you live in an "urban" neighborhood. EDIT: yes i carry a pocketknife myself but i think that i'm not a minority when i say that a knife as long as you describe IS considered a weapon. Well, that's kinda my point. You're NOT the minority. That's what the majority think. And it's just plain sad. Especially as I don't live in anything near an urban neighborhood. I was in my little (I think the population is something like 14,000) town's equally small grocery store, family-owned, at the time. It's not that rare to see hunters and fishermen coming through pretty often. I realize it wasn't obvious to her, but it should have been. It's just the way people are programmed to think now.

[trigotron]

Especially as I don't live in anything near an urban neighborhood. I was in my little (I think the population is something like 14,000) town's equally small grocery store, family-owned, at the time. It's not that rare to see hunters and fishermen coming through pretty often. I realize it wasn't obvious to her, but it should have been. It's just the way people are programmed to think now. Ah, if u live in a place where there are a lot of fishermen and hunters comming through then there's an obvious use for such a thing. I guess i'm a bit trapped in my big-city mentality myself I agree, plus, the TSA freaking out about a tweezer or a water bottle as a weapon doesn't help the mentality either :p

[Dallian]

I was at prom this year, and was wearing this big, poofy, trailing orange-and-white dress. When it was time for the dancing, I went to change into a knee-length black dress, and once I came back in, EVERYONE asked me if I had changed. I told them that no, I had not. Trig: You have a point, but then again, she did ask some stupid questions. To be fair, how would one ask about the knife other than that? I guess it's a polite way to say it? "Why do you carry a knife?" I dunno. But I can definitely see how after repeatedly obnoxious questions are asked on the same topic, one would be incredibly annoyed at them.

[Dallian]

Oh yes, and I'm back (by unpopular demand, as NeAvO would say).

[DancenSweetie8]

my friend's really dumb we were talking about rehab. and she said "is rehab a country?"

[wendylove]

She then wanted to know, "What kind of things?" So I said, "Things that need cutting." (Yeah, I can be a real smartass sometimes. Man of few words, that's me...) Then she said, "Not people, I hope." Silly woman. "No, of course not!" You proberly look like a violent person. Serial killer or something, thats why you have the superman avatar, their was a episode of Life On Mars when a person wanted to be a hero, however he was a coward and this made him a villan. Your not a superhero so maybe you will become a villan. I would rather be a anti-hero then a hero.

[Universal Mind]

The top four: 4. The point that it should be illegal to burn the American flag because the flag represents freedom of expression. 3. The point that terrorism, no matter how ineffective or counterproductive, is justifiable because it is in response to acts of evil. 2. The point that marijuana should be illegal because it is dangerous while tobacco and alcohol should be legal because people should be free to make their own decisions about their health. 1. The point that there is eternal torture for doubting God's infinite love. (If anybody wants to argue about any of that, please take it to the Extended Discussion or Religion/Spirituality forum.)

[Lunalight]

1. Who is Fidel castro? (I live in florida, by the way) 2. Who is John Lennon? Is he the leader of Iraq? 3. (One of my best friends said this. It's not too stupid, but it's funny. We were talking about playing instruments in our school graduation) Will: So, should you play first or should I? Rhen: No, I don't think we get to break for snacks.

[CoLd BlooDed]

I was working dairy at the grocery store I used to work at, and I was stocking eggs, and this middle eastern man came up to me and said. "Where do these eggs come from?" I knew his true intention, but I just had to say, "Uh... that would be chickens, sir. Hens if you want specifics."

[Man of Steel]

You proberly look like a violent person. Serial killer or something, thats why you have the superman avatar, their was a episode of Life On Mars when a person wanted to be a hero, however he was a coward and this made him a villan. Your not a superhero so maybe you will become a villan. I would rather be a anti-hero then a hero. Er, Wendy, sorry to burst your bubble, but I'm pretty average looking. I'm not the least bit violent-looking. Even had a fresh haircut. Also, the name Man of Steel is actually a bit of a play on words, since I'm such a knife-knut. The Superman avatar is just a place-holder until I can find/make a good knife-making-related one. But thanks for the vote of confidence in my character. Means a lot to me. [Edit:] Sorry I've kinda dragged this off-topic. I'll cease and desist immediately. Another: my dad, ever time he has to wake me up for some reason, does so by knocking loudly on my door and yelling, "Josh! You awake?".

[derb]

whenever we go to the movies, and something cool happens on screen my mate punches me in the arm and shouts, "did you see that!?!" i usually reply, "no, i was watching a different movie."

[wendylove]

Also, the name Man of Steel is actually a bit of a play on words, since I'm such a knife-knut. The Superman avatar is just a place-holder until I can find/make a good knife-making-related one. The person who served you might have thought your fasination with knives where creppy. Knife-Knut, well that is not normal.

[Spamtek]

following derb: People who narrate a movie in a cinema as it's going on - antagonist stabs someone in the chest? "Oh my god, he stabbed him in the chest!" Thanks for the update. Maybe not the stupidest thing ever, but stupid enough and grates on me to no end.

[Mes Tarrant]

You guys and your witty replies to stupid remarks from people! "No I was watching a different movie..."

[the real pieman]

'if your eyebrows could move they would say a million things' - said by me and... 'damn it these guns arent working against these zombies....we'll have to fight them off with pillows' - said by a dc in a dream that i will not forget any time soon... and.... 'i believe that human beings and fish can co-exist peacefully' 'when your a single mother with two children which is the toughest job in America as far as im concerned, and your working hard to put food on your family' 'and its time we asked the question...is,are,is our children learning' -all said by the most comical person alive president bush

[nina]

"Ecstasy??!! OMFG they totally put heroin in that!"

[joey11223]

ok i know this isn't exactly stupid but it really annoys me: I'm on MSN and im talking to a friend, they say " how are you?", ill say "ok" or something. The conversation ends sometimes later. 30mins after that i decide to start talking to them again, when the convo stats they ask " how are you?" i say " How i was 30 minutes ago!", i know they are just asking but when it's a tiny time span it annoys me. Some random ones: I'm watching Batman begins at the cinema with a friend, every few minutes he asks me " Is he Batman yet" when he obviously isn't, i say " Yes.... look at the suit, it's 100% batman". At school in year 9( 13-14). We just finish reading our fiction thing for an analysis, a shortened version of Frankenstein. When we finish ugly dumb chavy girl says in like a really dumb shocked voice " Miss, did that really happen?". EVERYBODY laughed at her, even the teacher, i have never seen another adult laugh so hard at a kid, it was hilarious. The teacher basically fell over laughing. Good times...:p One of my friends comes round my house, we go in and my cat waiting in the hall, she says to me " Is that your cat?", i said " No, that's my dog", hehehe:p

[Wildman]

(Don't ask how the topic came up) Me: Do you feel bad eating crabs? Woman: No. Me: Why not? Woman: Because crabs eat people.

[dodobird]

OK, this last one reminded me of some model in my country, that was intreviewd in a talk-show: Model: I am a vegetarian Host: So what kinds of food do you eat? Model: chicken. Host: How can you eat chicken if your a vegetarian? Model: Oh, chicken isn't an animal, it's a bird.