Tell me about your worst relationship break up!

[Swank]

I need to break up with my girlfriend, but it's for no solid reason other than she's gotten increasingly boring. I started to wonder whether I should lie and make up another problem or just tell her that she's extremely dull to hang out with. Which sparked the thought, I wonder how she will take it... Has anyone had the pleasure of having to break up with someone, only to find it turn into a serious health risk?

[Adam]

Fortunately for me, or unfortunately for me, which ever way you want to look at it, I have only had to break up with one girl. The rest all finished with me, either leaving me for someone else, or just ending it, for reasons I will never know... The reason I finished with a girl was because she told me she loved me, and I was not at that place with her, and didn't think I could ever love her, so told her a couple of days later that it was for the best.. You have to be honest, but mindful of her feelings.

[Replicon]

I need to break up with my girlfriend, but it's for no solid reason other than she's gotten increasingly boring. I started to wonder whether I should lie and make up another problem or just tell her that she's extremely dull to hang out with. Which sparked the thought, I wonder how she will take it... Has anyone had the pleasure of having to break up with someone, only to find it turn into a serious health risk? Don't make anything up. Tell her the truth, but reframed slightly. It's not necessarily that she's dull, it's just that you've gotten into a routine, have been sitting in the comfort zone too long, and the spark died. You see, the "initial spark" is usually amplified by novelty and some other factors. To keep the spark going after the novelty wears off, there has to be genuine chemistry, and real feelings towards one another. If you don't have those feelings, or a desire to try and boost those feelings, it's perfectly understandable that it needs to end. There is absolutely no reason to make anything up when breaking up - EVER. And don't be softening the blow with empty "maybe one day, in the future" promises (i.e. lies). Just tell her it's over, tell her why, and be done with it.

[kichu]

Don't make anything up. Tell her the truth, but reframed slightly. It's not necessarily that she's dull, it's just that you've gotten into a routine, have been sitting in the comfort zone too long, and the spark died. You see, the "initial spark" is usually amplified by novelty and some other factors. To keep the spark going after the novelty wears off, there has to be genuine chemistry, and real feelings towards one another. If you don't have those feelings, or a desire to try and boost those feelings, it's perfectly understandable that it needs to end. There is absolutely no reason to make anything up when breaking up - EVER. And don't be softening the blow with empty "maybe one day, in the future" promises (i.e. lies). Just tell her it's over, tell her why, and be done with it. Yes, agreeing with all of that, but PLEASE make sure not to actually use the word "boring" anywhere. You'll crush her. This is good - "It's not necessarily that she's dull (DON'T SAY THIS PART OUT LOUD), it's just that you've gotten into a routine, have been sitting in the comfort zone too long, and the spark died." I've never had a horrible break up with anyone that went severely wrong. First boyfriend was a high school boyfriend and after a while it was kinda like, "ok, that was fine, but lets move on now." So I just said I think we're done but didn't really say why or anything. He cried a little, we stayed friends for a bit. We both moved on. Second serious relationship, we were living together, then were forced to move back home to our parents (money I think it was?), and then 3 days later he broke up with me. Made some excuse about traveling/moving in a few months, no real explanation, didn't talk anymore after that one conversation. I started feeling better the next day and within two weeks I was pretty much completely over him. 3rd - gave it a shot twice, he was crazy though, had extreme issues, it was so not a grown up relationship, but even while we were in the relationship we both knew it would never work. We were always talking about our problems, so we both knew exactly what was going on. At the end of our second time around I ended up throwing a fan at him. We're best friend now though! 4th was last year, pretty mutual, he wouldn't grow up, I didn't want to put up with it, got in a fight one day and I basically said I don't want to take your immature shit anymore, he said I'm not gonna change, I said fine, we walked away from it. He is my best friend as well now. So those are my stories. NOTE - Except for #3, I didn't really give any of the guys big explanations as to why things were ending, and with #2, I didn't really get one. But I believe we all moved on anyway, so maybe that's something to think about when you're breaking up with her. Every person is different though, so maybe she will need an explanation. I don't know. That was very therapeutic! Everyone should write out a brief summary of their relationship history. Feels good.

[Mes Tarrant]

You are best friends with two of your exs?? I don't understand how that could work if they were serious, "I'm in love with you," type of relationships.

[kichu]

You are best friends with two of your exs?? I don't understand how that could work if they were serious, "I'm in love with you," type of relationships. The first one was such a mess, I don't know how we even got out of it alive. But there's something between us that's so strong. We just really appreciate each other as human beings. So what if there was a romantic side to it at some point? It's not there now, and what's left is a desire to still be in each others lives. We make each other laugh, because of everything we've been through we can talk about anything, we know each other soooooooo well. Friendships just don't get better than that. And with the other one, I've been looking back on it thinking that maybe we never should have been in a romantic relationship. Maybe we were always better off as friends. But how do you know something like that when you're in the relationship? I guess it takes time to come to certain realisations. I mean, things change, the dynamics of a relationship change. A relationship can be one thing at one point in time, and a completely different thing at another point in time. Why else are people friends for years, and then all of a sudden in a romantic relationship? Or married one day, getting a divorce the next? Love grows, love fades, that's just how it is. If neither of these guys was "the one", and we didn't end up killing each other or hating each other, but still recognized that we chose to have the other in our lives for a reason, why not stay friends?

[Swank]

Yeah one of my ex's is my best friend and another i talk to a fair bit still. Ive had one long relationship and the rest have been immature little 1-2 monthers. I have to pick better. I told this one I'm having problems with about my dreaming, she gave me a weird look. My diagnosis: she gotta go.

[Burns]

My worst break up was with a guy that I went to high school with, but then had a long-distance relationship with once we started college. We started going to separate universities, about an hour and a half apart, but we made time to see each other twice a week. We dated for about 2 years this way, and then one evening I was between classes at school sitting in the library checking my email. I decided to send him an email, but something weird happened and it didn't send, so I logged onto his email (he had told me his password previously) to see if it went through because I didn't want to have to type it all out again and send it twice. Well I find an email from some chick named "Andrea" thanking him for coming over and staying with her after she got her wisdom teeth pulled. So I'm like "WTF is this??" So I call him and he denies anything is going on, but he can't deny he stayed the night with her because I had proof! (and what a flaming idiot for knowing I could get into his email and having her send him emails through that account! like he was just asking to be caught or something...) Anyway, I was so pissed and felt so sick and betrayed, that I skipped the rest of my classes that night, went back to my apartment, packed up all the shit he had given me, and proceeded to drive up to his house. On my way driving, I called into a popular radio station and announced what he had done. They graciously put me on the air, and I publicly blasted the cheating bastard. All his friends, and all my friends heard it before they even knew what had happened! I was driving about 90mph to get there, completely out of my mind with emotion, so it didn't take me long to get there. It was about 2am when I arrived, and he wasn't even there! He was obviously staying over at the girls house again! I piled all his shit on the porch, broke into his house, wrote him a nice letter, and left it on his bed - so he would see that I had been there, and that I knew he was gone again. And then I left. He tried calling in the weeks that followed, and even showed up at my apartment unannounced once about a month later - and luck would have it that I had another guy (my now-hubby) in there with me at the time, which pretty much let him know that I had already moved on. We've never spoke again since.

[Swank]

I was driving about 90mph to get there, completely out of my mind with emotion, so it didn't take me long to get there. It was about 2am when I arrived, and he wasn't even there! He was obviously staying over at the girls house again! I piled all his shit on the porch, broke into his house, wrote him a nice letter, and left it on his bed - so he would see that I had been there, and that I knew he was gone again. And then I left. Remind me never to screw with you.

[bro]

Holy sh*t Burns...wow... I'm lucky to be able to say I haven't had more then bad breakup about 2 years back... it wasn't even that bad though...harsh, cold feelings and akward silences since I went to school with this girl, but no more than that. There will come a time though when I'll click with someone...for now, I'm building confidence, and it's working quite well. I'm beggining to adopt the "I really couldn't give a flying f*ck what anyone thinks, I'm going to get out and find a girl I like, worth continuing with, not whoever comes my way"... Anywhoo, I'm sure I'll have some more negative experiences, but I beleive they'll make me appreciate the positive that much more.

[pj]

I've never had an easy break-off of a relationship. Every one of them was agony. Thankfully there weren't that many. One that really stands out for me was a lady I knew I should never have gotten involved with in the first place. She was a wild woman who really enjoyed living on the edge. This was at a time in my life where I was beginning to seriously question the way I was living. We were friends who got carried away. Well, the end of it wasn't pretty and I'm not proud of my words or deeds during that time. I actually wrote a song to her about needing to put an end to things. It was a good song - good enough that we still perform it 25+ years later. The unfortunate downside of still performing it is the constant reminder of the whole thing. As wild and weird as it all was, I would sure love to run into her somewhere just to find out what she has done with her life. We should have been friends, not lovers. Had we been wise enough to foresee that, we would likely still be friends.

[Burns]

Remind me never to screw with you. heh, yeah really. A woman scorned is not a pretty sight

[bro]

I'll bet...wait did you really break into his house, or did you sort of kind of have a key?

[Burns]

I'll bet...wait did you really break into his house, or did you sort of kind of have a key? ummm no... I didn't have a key... Don't worry, I didn't break any windows or anything like that

[bro]

Heh. Alright.

[Michael]

Well this one I was at a party and there was this girl that I knew I wanted to bone. So I got drunk and started talking to her, and she got trashed eventually. Apparently, I said that if we did it, I would still talk to her and "date" (I don't date). So we wound up scrumpin for a while... Well, the next day she calls and I'm like WTF, I was just drunk and horny, I don't really want to date you. So.. she keyed my car. The funny thing is, I have cameras set up in my front yard so I caught it on tape and fucked her in court. That's my worst "break-up".... although I don't do relationships. Don't ever fuck with me ladies.