Thread: Tell me about how to take a teenage girl out on a date

Originally Posted by Man of Shred

invite her over to your place and tell her you're going to give her a good view of your ceiling

That's a good one, how come I never heard that one before?

Listen to the girls here, they are very wise. Be casual, forget rehearsing your conversation, it sounds prepared and that sounds awkward. Project confidence, but be aware of the thin line between confident and cocky, girls don't like cocky.

Originally Posted by guitarboy

.

Naive.

Poor comedy.

The title kind of gives it away if you ask me.

"how to take a teenage girl out on a date" hm.....

Read this book. It changed my life.

The information in this book (and the reading it will lead you to in other authors) is so much more than learning lines to pick up girls. It's about walking taller, fixing your own self image, becoming the best 'you' that you can be for others to be attracted to. It also teaches you how to avoid certain pit falls in the first few conversations to disarm the various 'loser checks' that women build up over their lives to filter out the guys they don't have time for.

First date no-nos:

- Movies: Bad. You spend 2 hours in silence, and you can't even look at her without it being obvious. Sure you might have something to talk about after the film, but by then its usually late (if you're going out at night), and if the film wasnt terribly interesting then you're setting yourself up for awkward pauses that neither of you can fill. I do agree with Man of Shred, some awkward pauses are necessary when meeting a girl. But they ONLY work if the girl is attracted to you and wants the conversation to continue. If she's on a date with you already, she's clearly attracted to you enough to go out with you once, so awkward pauses are now bad, as they show an inability to communicate.

- Lunch/Dinner: Too formal. You're 19, not 29. Putting two strangers opposite one another in a meal situation when they are both trying to make a good impression is a bad idea. Some people aren't comfortable eating infront of others when they first meet. They worry about getting things in their teeth or spilling food on their nice clothes. You're face to face for up to 90 minutes and since you HAVE to stare at each other you can notice every dimple, detail and 'imperfection' that we all have. You're under a microscope. Then there's the opportunity for more awkward pauses as you wait for the meal to arrive. If you can't get the waiters attention due to shyness/sheepishness, it shows a lack of confidence. Then you have the dilemma of do you pay for the meal, or split the cost with her? A lot of girls insist on paying their way, and you should let them. Overriding her and paying for her doesn't show that you're Mr Money Bags or that you're of the old fashioned school of chivalry. In my experience it sends the signal that you're a chump that thinks he can 'buy' a date by throwing money at it. Generally speaking, meals of any kind are bad situations for first dates for all of the above reasons.

- Keep your inner crazy... inside: We all have weird things about us that our friends find 'interesting' or 'quirky' (like burping the alphabet). Or we have bad home lives. Or we have a depression or emotional situation going on. First dates aren't the time for telling her about that. If you've spent the last few years on anti depressants, save that nugget for later. If she asks about the scars on your arms (I saw in your post history you had a thread about cutting), say you won a fight against a lion, or you got into a cat fight with a friends little sister. Say it with a smile and a some arm gesturing. Make light of it. Don't go super serious and spill your guts about it. Big turn off.

Good ideas for a first date:
- A comedy club (go there a few times first to make sure the acts are funny).
- A wine center taste testing (you're both over 18), this one can backfire if you're too young though and don't appreciate wine yet.
- The zoo
- The beach (weather permitting, better if you have friends meeting you there)
- Mini golf. The worse you are, the more fun it is.
- Bowling. Same as mini golf. If/When she says "Wow I really suck", the correct answer is to laugh and say "You're right - you're terrible! But I'm no Tiger Woods either" then proceed to miss your next shot. We call this a neg, or a backhanded compliment. It's playful. Don't say "Nooooo you're doing GREAT". It's patronising. It's sucking up. It doesn't work.
- Any activity that is going to be exciting and fun. Go-carting. Rollercoasters. Some kind of carnival. Laser skirmish!

The idea is to put you both in an environment that is fun, gives you opportunities to laugh together, to speak and to interact. She needs to associate you with 'having fun and laughter' for you to get another date.

Canned lines don't work. Canned STORIES do (mostly if they're true, and relate to your life). We all have those stories that we like to tell about ourselves and we tell them all the time. Whether you want to admit it or not, that is your 'canned material'. Don't apologize for anything you like to do. If she asks you what your interests are, tell the truth. If you start saying crap like you spend time at the animal welfare shelter (and you don't), your body language won't match the story you're telling, and you're probably going to be lying if she asks follow up questions. Women are far better lie detectors than men are. If you love the shit out of your playstation, don't make excuses for it. Enthusiasm is very contagious. If she likes you she's going to make the effort to meet you half way and might even want to play some games with you to win you over and show she can enjoy your interests. Before you go out, write down a list of things to talk about and keep it in your back pocket. If you ever feel an awkward pause coming on and you're shit out of something to talk about, put up one finger (like, 'time out one sec'), take the paper out of your pocket, read it, make an animated 'Aaaaah....' kind of face like you've just had a lightbulb moment, put the paper away, then continue with a new conversational thread. I've done it in bars and clubs before and its generally very funny! If she asks to see the paper (some control freaks will), keep a blank piece in your pocket to give to her. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you came prepared to make a good impression. It's thoughtful.

And lastly so I don't turn this post into a book: drop the 'woe is me' attitude. It's not an attractive characteristic people look for in friends and lovers. So your car broke down. That's life. If you want this girl that bad, call a taxi. Get a ride from a friend. Ride the bus (I'm sure your metro system has a website you can look up bus routes on). There are always other options. Throwing your arms in the air and saying 'its too hard, I give up' isn't a solution. You could even use it as a story to tell on your date (do it later in the evening after you build some rapport). It will flatter her that you went the extra mile (or 15) to ask her out. "My car broke down and I couldn't be bothered to figure out the bus timetable to see you" doesn't really have the same effect.

When someone tells you you should 'be yourself', they're giving bad advice. 'Yourself' isn't good enough. You need to be your 'best' self.

Originally Posted by Alex

If you ever feel an awkward pause coming on and you're shit out of something to talk about, put up one finger (like, 'time out one sec'), take the paper out of your pocket, read it, make an animated 'Aaaaah....' kind of face like you've just had a lightbulb moment, put the paper away, then continue with a new conversational thread. I've done it in bars and clubs before and its generally very funny! If she asks to see the paper (some control freaks will), keep a blank piece in your pocket to give to her.

lmao, that sounds like something I would do.

Some good advice there... really good advice there, actually. Very realistic for todays standards.

Originally Posted by Alextanium

Before you go out, write down a list of things to talk about and keep it in your back pocket. If you ever feel an awkward pause coming on and you're shit out of something to talk about, put up one finger (like, 'time out one sec'), take the paper out of your pocket, read it, make an animated 'Aaaaah....' kind of face like you've just had a lightbulb moment, put the paper away, then continue with a new conversational thread. I've done it in bars and clubs before and its generally very funny! If she asks to see the paper (some control freaks will), keep a blank piece in your pocket to give to her. There's nothing wrong with admitting that you came prepared to make a good impression. It's thoughtful.


When someone tells you you should 'be yourself', they're giving bad advice. 'Yourself' isn't good enough. You need to be your 'best' self.

haha that's awesome! I'd think that would be hilarious if a guy did that on our first date! (but it would probably work best if you're funny to begin with )

and the last part's very true. You shouldn't pretend to be someone you're not, but you do need to be making a good effort to be someone that others will want to be around. great advice, Alex

I'd love to be taking credit for all that advice, but it's really not mine. Up until 6 weeks ago, I was that loveable loser that did everything wrong, never got phone numbers and rarely got the time of day from women I'd meet out on Friday and Saturday nights. I decided I needed a change after I lost a really hot Perth girl to a douchebag friend-of-a-friend at a birthday party.

So I devoured a half dozen e-books on Mystery Method, body language, and proper styles of story telling (conveying attractive values without looking like you're bragging). I shaved my hair down from being about 2.5cm long to barely a few millimetres, got a tan and started wearing tighter clothing instead of my old baggy repertoire. Armed with little more than knowledge and a smile, I can now talk to random women in the street (in the day) and usually pull out a phone number or an instant coffee date. It's fun too! Conversations can be broken down like the recipe for baking a cake, and followed just as easily. Learning to read body language is one of the most valuable skills a person can have, because it's analogous to having a 'secret' pipeline of information being transmitted from her, to you. It gives you an edge over other guys that can't.

My brother, my best friend and I have been learning this together for almost two months now, and we have hilarious success with meeting girls out on weekends. Our other friends are completely baffled by how we do it and it shocks them every time. Such a great confidence booster to have the admiration of other men, especially when they are comparatively better looking than I am (some guys are attractive, and some are absolute pretty boys that hot girls will talk to straight up. We all know which category we fit into).

I wish I had the time and presence of mind to study both this and lucid dreaming, but I'm very much an 'all or nothing' personality when it comes to learning self improvement and inner development. I'll get back to it one day.