Ok I can't fall asleep properly and I’m kind of guessing that I’m going to have problems regardless cos I can't relax...lets see what you all think.

Ok, it is hard to fall asleep first of all and once I do its even harder to wake up, however I can be alerted or woken up without actually waking...if that makes sense.

Example, I will wake up turn off my alarm, reset my mobile alarm and roll back over having no memory of it after I wake properly...I am becoming later and later for work due to this as I do not recall waking in the first place...then I wake up all fresh and comfortable and relaxed and "SHIT!", late for work.

That being said I think that is the point where I can dream best if it was a possibility but work interferes there and Its not a possibility for me to go to bed earlier to make falling asleep a better routine for me...as far as I’m concerned (medically) when I fall asleep is only up to my body, I can do what I want to wake up sooner but have no control.

This all sucks because I could LD very well but haven't the environment to practice in.

What do I do?
Do I give up?
Do I try harder?
Do I quit my job just so I can experience these dreams? and then what...I run out of money and can't afford my house so I become homeless but still with all the LD time I could want, so now I’m sleeping on the streets dreaming that I’m not homeless and my LD's become more exciting because I’m dreaming of a better life that I had once before I lost my job from trying to LD which I can do now because of that LD that made me late and I lost my job over it in the first place, then I get injured and have to go to hospital because I can't look after myself on the streets cos I don't have that level of street smarts and after all that I sit back and wonder....why didn't I just go to bed and get up for work? But by then it's too late.

Hey after that rant just now I am remembering a dream...happened this morning (yes I did get to work late today...no one knows that yet cos I open up)
Can't remember this dream properly but there was something ok to it...some powers I had or something to do with monsters?
Some really weird, kind of place where there were...creatures? Or something...can't keep it in my head, hold on let me ponder it briefly...
I get the feeling something was after us...whoever we were, some of 'us', were my people but there were those I didn't know. There was a tree? A monster tree? or something like that...rooms slides...padding...like a children’s playroom all padded and safe but so much danger was there...I did something...oh forget it this is failing miserably...I have a book by me bed to record dreams in but again...its always works fault...if I knew I wouldn't be late I would try LD's every night but no.

Ok I’m just going on and on so I’m gone.
Astro


It kind of felt like i was at a spook house at a showgrounds but not on a fixed track...more like a kind of gauntlet i had to cross...there was so much more to it though...damn this job fear