I'm new here but the advise given sounds very good, I'm going to focus more on grounding myself once I'm lucid.
I find that as soon as I'm lucid, I start flying around and doing ridiculus things. Before I know it, I'm back in a normal dream or I'm out of control and "can't do anything" as you said. Or its very hard to stop myself from flying past things or people I want to stop at, which gets aggravating.

Don't get me wrong, somtimes it works great. But only in short bursts. I think if you focus more on grounding yourself, (I like that term), and less on trying to change things. In the long run you will be more succesful with controling the dream.
Like I said, I'm new here, so take what I say with a grain of salt.