I've hit a wall - Please help

[iarpo]

I'd never had a lucid dream before joining but now I regularly have semi lucid dreams. Semi is the kicker though; when I dream it's as though I have two separate consciouses: -One that's watching the dream, knowing it's a dream. -And one that participates in the dream oblivious to the fact that it's a dream. It's like shouting at a TV. And I doubt the frustration is going to help either . The dreams are always DILDs. Never had a WILD or the like, and when in sleep paralysis I never see hypnagogic imagery - though last night for the first time I heard a voice that sounded as clear as day from in my ear on the pillow, but vanished instantly through my shock, but besides that I've been able to take SP no further than feeling as though I'm flying around the room. I'm also reality checking a lot, but they're always triggered by something, I do very few RCs for the sake of doing them. As far as techniques go I've ben trying to follow BillyBob's LD tutorial, with FILDs, WBTBs and WILDs. Should I be focusing on a specific technique? I don't know specifically what I'm asking, I just want to push through this into a lucid dream where I can at least control my actions. Thanks

[archdreamer]

So, do you mean that you are disembodied, and unable to move, while a scene plays out in front of you? I've never encountered this problem, but I suppose you could try to ignore the dream scene, and focus on the 'feeling' of having legs, arms etc. This should hopefully get you proper tactile sensations, then you should be able to start rubbing your hands together, and moving your head to change your field of view, which could help make your body visible. If you can do this, then usual clarity-increasing techniques such as doing some RCs or examining your environment should be able to get you going in an LD, with a body. Sort of like bootstrapping a computer, I guess.

[iarpo]

Cheers for the reply. My mind is sort of split into two, one mind has no body to speak of so unfortunately I can't rub my hands together, it's like the narrator in a film, and my other mind is the main dream character at that time over which I have no control or even awareness of the dream - though it's still me, it's quite hard to explain. The two minds tend to alter in dominance, one coming forward or falling into the background, but both always there. Only twice has the "narrator" has been able to affect the dream: Excerpt from Dream Journal: 1: the teachers say that's it and march most of the students out except the two in the skins. Suddenly they're wearing Russian WWI uniforms. The teachers have allied uniforms and are marching the two to a firing line inside the classroom by the piano, they know they're about to die. For some reason though they let them keep their weapons. As the countdown begins, the Russian/student shoots his captor and quickly takes out everyone else in the room with rapid firing. Wait, wait. That's not right, it's a bolt action rifle; you couldn't get that many shots off so quickly. Ok let's do it again: ...they know they're about to die. For some reason though they let them keep their weapons. As the countdown begins, the Russian/student rams the bayonet through his captors face, shoots another guard, cocks the bolt and shoots a teacher, then beats another teacher to death using his rifle as a club. That's better. 2: and thedream pretty much disintegrated. I was presented with an option screen superimposed over a diagram of the earth. On it were options for the next dream, again I knew it was a dream but I didn't become lucid enough to control my actions, I was just aware of it. I went for the hunting option as I'm usually the one being hunted I thought it'd be nice to have a dream where the tables are turned. I arrived in the deep jungle, the sky a deep red sunset, Incan ruins visible on the horizon. I had an odd knife; two blades twisting together to a point. I set off for some hunting when suddenly a grey brown gorilla burst out of a bush and ran towards me with a similar knife, "This isn't fair, I thought I was hunting, it's my dream after all" and I woke up. Also I've just started read the lucid dream book on Wikipedia which talks about false lucids, where you dream you're dreaming. It's on my mind I guess. What do you reckon?

[Robot_Butler]

Geez, it sounds like you are completing the Task Of The Month without even trying. Sounds confusing, with the split consciousness. Lately, I've been having lucidity similar to the kind you are describing. Limited, and low level, where I know it is a dream, but I don't do much about it. Lets kick this bad habit, together. I was going to focus on being more aware in real life and dream life. In my past experience, this seems to carry over into the dream. When you reality check, really be sure you are being super aware of your body and surroundings.

[iarpo]

That's f***king team-wo-o-ork!! (I like making myself laugh) I'm going to start doing that, then hopefully I'll acquire a body in dreams to focus on and ground me. (I'm thinking this will also act as a calming force in RL; slowing down, paying attention to my senses, taking stock of my situation and focusing my intent on the task at hand as well) I briefly considered trying to claim the task of the month, but I wouldn't feel like I'd earned it; when I have those wings I want to feel like I deserve it.

[Robot_Butler]

It is funny that this month's task is something that lots of people do on accident when they are lucid. Its so common to be aware of both your dream body and your body back in bed as your lucid is fading. I wonder if all those experiences would count? I think what you are describing is just a lower level of lucidity. Not quite fully lucid, but aware that something is going on. I think it is a good sign that your mind is on the right track.