Kumara

10/04/2011 Tuesday morning

Back door trouble. Again. And cats. Again.

I totally invite feedback on this dream, as I've had a series of locked door/cats/black people dreams for the past few weeks and am open to a more expansive perspective...

I was in my (dream) home/apartment with 2 black women. There is a knock at the back door (which is in my bedroom), or someone is trying to get in. I don’t want to go to the door (fear), so one or both of the women go to the door to see who is there.

After a pause, I follow them into the room…someone wants in and it seems like bad trouble. I notice that the deadbolt isn’t locked, so I turn the bolt carefully so whoever is outside doesn’t notice or hear, hoping that I’m doing it right and not accidentally UNlocking it. It sounds like a black man or men on the other side. Another lock appears above the first deadbolt and I locked it, too.

They leave – and I’m not sure of the sequence here –
I have a conversation with someone who tells me not to worry too much about those guys, that someone else used to live here and that’s who they were looking for. They were expecting food is all. I thought, “is food all they want? I have that! I can feed them.” And thought of how I like to show care for people by cooking for them.

But that seems out of synch with another snippet –
After ‘they’ left, I walked out the back door, and there was another room, like a sun room, that I didn’t realize was there. There was a big blue door, with a big glass pane, antique-looking (reminds me of Sesame Street door). That door had a big lock on it, and after talking to one or both of the black women that was with me, determined that one of them had left it unlocked.

I looked around the ‘sun room’ (not exactly right…maybe a sitting room?) and noticed the charred remains of a dog’s head, and ribcage. I was thinking, these people are not fucking around. It was a warning from them, that my dog (a boxer, who I suddenly “remembered” I had) would share a similar fate if he tried to protect me. I imagined the horror of my dog being skinned and burned and felt bad.

Skip to – my sister A is jumping on a trampoline in the sun/sitting room, to my left. Both of my sisters are over – K is maybe in another room adjacent to the sun/sitting room that appears in a way that isn’t really 3D.
To my right is the blue door with the big glass pane. Sitting outside on the doorstep are many cats, sitting quietly all facing me intently. Directly in front of me is a cat that I identify as an ocelot, sitting on it’s haunches. It looks similar to only it’s fur is longer and tufted around it’s face. My mother says, “that one in the back, with the big head (body?), that’s known as the Pheonix Ob___”. I see one over to the right that is bigger and rounder, has something weird going on with it’s head, it’s more surreal than the ocelot, maybe more cartoonish.

Somewhere also in the dream, I realize that people are getting in and out of that back room through a flap cut into a plastic/vinyl window. I make a mental note to ask the landlord to replace it with glass.