Lakona

PART 1 - IMPULSIVE GRANDPA

I'm with grandpa. He's acting very impulsive. He keeps eating unhealthy food - I remember one specific instance of a burger from Burger King... and possibly taking drugs (alcohol?). I think to myself that it could be because he thinks he's going to die soon, so he's letting loose.

We're driving along, talking about deep things. We're out in the country, there are a lot of sharp turns. He's barely paying attention to his driving. I think to myself, it must be on autopilot, and with so many years of good driving, it should be fine... I feel safer having thought this.

He talks (I ask?) about his philosophy on various things... I think it had an "all the beautiful people," world peace type vibe... which is interesting as IRL his views tend more toward the conspiratorial.

ANALYSIS

Grandpa recently purchased a motorcycle, and apparently plans on (or possibly has already been) using it.

I really do often think that he's trying to keep himself stimulated by keeping busy, because he's afraid that if he gets too bored he'll just lose the will to live.

His manner has changed slightly as well... more uninhibited.

Definitely need to visit sometime soon.

- - -

PART 2 - OUTDOOR RAP BATTLE

Outside, field in the country... there's about a dozen people lined up, each taking turns freestyling. Lil Wayne (or someone who looks like them) is one of them.

It's my job to pick who competes next. There are bins of food sitting on a table - for some reason instead of picking the people themselves, I pick two foods, and whoever owns them goes next.

I'm picking just before I leave (I'm supposed to compete next, but make some half-ass excuse, grandpa is waiting in car - which is true, but there did not seem to be any urgency.)

The host recommends I pick some frozen meat, I do... turns out it belongs to two Japanese chefs (wearing full white chef uniforms and hats) who barely speak English, he wanted them up for entertainment value.

I head back to grandpa waiting in the car, I see the hills and winding roads in the distance.

ANALYSIS

I started listening to rap again the past few days after taking maybe a week break from it, likely trigger.

I also watched a few prank calls yesterday, which to me seems like the trigger for tricking the Japanese chefs into competing, similar attitude of mischief.

Making an excuse seems literal, I don't feel prepared for something like that.

PART 1 - FREE BEER AND UNDERCOVER COPS

I'm walking down the street across from where I work, it's night. Some girl, mid 20s, black hair, wearing a professional navy colored suit, is handing out cans of beer - like how some people hand out promotional flyers to everyone who passes by, except it's cans of beer half as tall as a normal can. I take it even though I don't drink. The top is already open when she hands it to me.

I continue down the road and these two older guys start following me, late 30s, one has very light blond hair, almost white, especially his eyebrows, mostly bald... reminds me of Hank from the show Breaking Bad. Don't remember anything about the other guy.

They keep within my personal space, and somehow I figure they must be undercover cops. I look at the Hank guy and call it out, "so, you must be..." He pretends not to know what I'm getting at. I say "nevermind" and cross the street toward work, they follow me.

When we get to the other side, they reveal their identity and ask about the beer, if I've been drinking or plan to. I say that I hadn't drank any and have no intentions of doing so, which is true. They hear the sincerity and conviction in my voice, believe me, and leave me be.

ANALYSIS

The thing that stands out most to me is my conviction when I told them I wasn't going to drink, and the fact that they believed me.

Perhaps a message about the importance of sincerity.

- - -

PART 2 - BAR ZOMBIES

I go to a bar with my dad. There are couches... all of the patrons are sitting silently, staring off awkwardly. Men and women in their 40s, at least some of them are dad's family. I realize that they're just there because they don't want to be alone.

There was a much more complex storyline involving dad as well, but can't remember...

ANALYSIS

I think the important part of this one was the realization that they just didn't want to be alone.

It makes me think of how people will lower their standards in relationships (romantic or otherwise) just to avoid loneliness.

I was feeling oddly lonely yesterday and spoke to someone who I'd previously dismissed as too irritatingly trivial to interact with, just to talk to someone, anyone. I did so more on my own terms than before, however, not changing the way I acted to match theirs. Instead, they changed to match mine. It actually did make me feel better.

- - -

PART 3 - FAIL AT FEMALE DANCE CLASS

I'm in a dance class meant for females. I can't do the movement properly for some reason, I keep swaying back and forth with my arms, but it's not correct. When the session ends, I do a backward roll over my left shoulder.

Teacher is in mid to late 40s, neck length brown hair, taught face with some wrinkles.

ANALYSIS

I generally consider myself fairly feminine in certain ways.

I'm not sure what would trigger that sense of not being able to "get it right," however.

Except perhaps losing repetitively as Zerg in Starcraft, but that seems a bit of a stretch. Oh well, I always try to come up with at least one possibility for each part.

- - -

PART 4 - INFUSING MOVEMENT WITH FEELING IN PAINTING

I think this is the same class as the one above.

A male teacher - 40s, quite fat, longer hair (ponytail?) - challenged by a student that they "can't paint," demonstrates in front of the class by making 2 simple marks of a dark blue. They're very slow and deliberate, he twists the brush to make two marks each conveying movement into the other, like a yin yang. I can see he's infusing much feeling into the movements.

I'm able to recognize it because this is something I do naturally. I allow the feeling to take over my hands. I remember clearly the feeling of my arms moving involuntarily with the brush in the air.

ANALYSIS

The feeling or lack there of conveyed in movement is something I notice in people at all times.

Perhaps this theme of feeling in movement was the result of being quite focused on the sensation of swaying my arms in the previous part.

In fact, thinking about it now, I was really quite aware of it in the moment. I think this may be the first sign of greater dream awareness. It makes sense that it would begin kinesthetically for me. Focusing on body awareness first in dreams may be my personal key to achieving lucidity.

I feel that this is a very important discovery. Progress!

- - -

FRAGMENT

Walking down a street, cars and shops, downtown in some city, night. Someone is impersonating Immortal Technique, one of their lines ends with "poke them in the eye," I think this is weak and not something they would say.

ANALYSIS

Possibly triggered by a post I made on here mentioning IT.

When I first woke up, I thought I would have no dreams to report today. It seems to take some time for me to recall.

For me it's not a matter of "getting it all onto paper quickly before I forget," it's more "keep waiting around until some random thought triggers a memory, which triggers another one..." and so on.

PART 1 - RICH FAMILY PIANO VISIT

I'm visiting some rich, "upper class" family. I don't know how I know them.

There is a mother - 50s, slim, narrow face, short brown cropped hair, well mannered but stern, a cold personality... and a daughter, who looks like someone I very vaguely know IRL.

The house seems to be based on two locations from my past, one from my childhood and one my father's current home. Kind of both at once, as dreams often seem to weirdly do.

I practice on their piano (in the kitchen area from my childhood house)... meanwhile in the next room, the mother is teaching the daughter piano (living room, right across - where there used to actually be a piano IRL).

At one point I crawl into the room toward the corner opposite from them (there is no other furniture other than the piano), where there is a picture of the daughter leaning against the wall on the floor. I "fix" the tilt of the picture. As I do, I'm more or less staring at the daughter. She pretends not to notice.

As I'm crawling back out, I realize that I was staring and that it must have seemed creepy, and think to myself that I should completely ignore the daughter for a while to compensate.

After a while the mother comes in and asks how I'm doing. I pick up on the subtext that it's time for me to go, and say that I was actually just about to head out.

As I'm leaving I notice I'm wearing a bulky green-ish jacket I've borrowed from them. I hesitate, wondering if they'll ask for it back, but suppose they let me keep it for now as it's raining outside.

I think the original reason I borrowed it had something to do with what took place before I arrived, some sense of danger, but can't remember. I remember something about playing in an orchestra...

On my way out (now based on my father's current home), where there is usually a closet by the front door, I notice it's a door into an entire room that is in fact a giant checkers board, with giant checkers pieces to play with and everything.

ANALYSIS

Piano is one of several arts I've been considering to spend my time on while not working on my meditation project, so I'm sure that association is primed in my mind.

Crawling into the room... this could certainly symbolize submitting to their "higher status."

Fixing the tilt of the picture... this could mean trying to improve her self image, perhaps repair damage done by the harsh mother figure.

The checkers room... this could refer to decadence, extravagance, this rich family having a whole room just for checkers.

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PART 2 - RAP ALBUM G

I'm talking to my IRL friend G about releasing a rap album. I say that I'm not super motivated to release one at this point, otherwise I would be "working my contacts," that it's "just a hobby right now."

ANALYSIS

Perhaps trying to qualify myself, essentially trying to prove, "I could if I wanted to."