HeritageDreamer

I am walking up the stairs form my parent’s basement. I pass by my mother and some of her girl friends. Her friend, that knows I’ve been to rehab, stops to give me a big hug. When she pulls away she looks at me judgmentally and says in french “so you didn’t go after all?” I am surprised with her comment because I just came back from my program. I respond “I did go, I just got back.” She says “no you didn’t. You smell like you’ve been using.” I get very upset and start to yell in english now. I say “Who the hell do you think you are? You have no f-ing right to come in here and accuse me.” I go on but I can’t recall what I say.

I wake up.

I would never speak like that to my family or their friends. I have not used in two months. I think this dream was brought on by fear. I had a fear of relapse coming out of rehab even though I did not want to use anymore and didn’t feel any physical compulsion to it anymore.