Midori

7/9/2011
I'm in a basement with washing machines. I'm talking to my dad about college. I waited until late, almost the last day, to register for, uh, registration. They were almost fully booked. I had to sign up for whatever's available. They had an opening. I took it.

I'm waiting outside a building in the dark, near the concrete steps. I'm talking with someone. I touched a dead baby duck (it looked like a stuffed one with a broken pullstring). I feel dirty. I need to wash my hands. I go inside without my stuff.

I look for the bathroom, but I get stopped by two security guards. They tell me there's an opening right now. I say ok, just let me go get my stuff (and wash my hands). They say no. I need to hurry before the guy who was supposed to have this appointment time gets here. So I go.

The building is a bit maze-ish. There's a stair going down in the middle of a room. There's a lady down there, typing at a desk.

I go to another room for registering. It's an interview. I sit across the desk from a guy who looks like that guy who says 'inconceivable' in The Princess Bride, except he has hair. Or maybe he looks like the mayor from Buffy the Vampire slayer (the one with the todo list saying: eat lunch, become invincible, PTA meeting). He asks me a lot of questions and writes stuff down on a form. Then he asks me what I plan to do for my essay. What essay?? I didn't know there's an essay. And I still need to wash my hands. He explains. There's an essay now, about a computer science topic. I tell him I plan to do it on open source software or linux. He doesn't hear me. I repeat myself. He still doesn't hear. He closes one, but not both, of the doors to the room, limiting the background noise. He hears me this time, and asks me why. I tell him these subjects excite me.

I write something on the form? I don't remember but later it's got my handwriting on it.

I suddenly realize the interview is being filmed. I am nervous. The guy is like 'of course it is.' I realize I am not fully dressed. I try to cover up, then decide to try to act nonchalant.

There are others in the room. The guy whose appointment I got because he was late is one of them, I think. There is a small bed with no mattress off to one side.

The guy is testing me on something now, only now he is a slender dark-skinned chick. Some porcelain animal cracker shaped things are dropped on the floor. They have the devil in them. You can't touch them, she says, or the devil will go into you. She attempts to clear them up, but it's risky work. The devil will go into objects you touch them with as well, apparently. Afterwards, I am supposed to have noticed something, but I didn't. I feel embarrassed. I missed the social (cultural) cues. She walks around tapping her face making disapproving noises. But the interview is done. I am supposed to take the form... where? The basement? Oh, I get it, to the lady at the desk at the bottom of the stairs.

I take the form to them. As I am leaving up the stairs, the desk lady (there is another lady there too) gets up. She is commenting on my writing, that my v's are pointy. There is some sort of (hand) writing test that takes a lot of time/pages? The way they are talking makes me uncomfortable, as if they were criticizing.

At the top of the stairs, the room I am in has two doors, at opposite ends of one wall. I walk to the left door. Both doors are open. Down the hall, I see a guy, but more urgently, I see a dog, painted red and yellow. It's a hellhound! I shut the door quickly, before the dog gets there. It's running. I am just in time. It growls and presses against the door, up on its hind legs. I growl back. Then it goes around and comes in the other door. "Fuck!" I grab a chair, to defend myself with. I'm panicking. The two ladies are nearby, but they won't be able to get to me in time to help. I wake up.

WILD attempt. No or little SP. Possible brief lucidity. Very fragmented.
In an elevator. Poisoned. The bottom of the elevator goes up independent of the top, hits the ceiling, and goes through.

On a bus. There are two kids. I only saw the one with the ugly face. Someone tells me I am the one who taught him to dream (lucidly?).

I'm in a sitting/kneeling position, falling asleep, worrying I'll hit something and wake. I feel momentary intense arousal. Something about getting a tattoo.

7/8/2011
I'm trying to solve an interesting puzzle. I keep stumbling across clues, wandering around the wilderness (of Runescape). I find chests and kill goblins and collect the pages. Each one has one red letter on it. When put together, the letters form a message. Some of the goblins have throwing knives. There's a lot of fenced in areas. It makes it hard to navigate (why the hell did they add fences? ngh). Eventually I get close to the last page (I can guess the missing letter). I am in a fenced in area with a goblin, which I kill, and a female friend. We talk. I forget what about.

I finally solve the puzzle, collecting all of the pages and revealing the secret message: "Say friend and ?get food?." I comment on how lame and unoriginal the first three words are.

I go to the one building. There are quite a few students there. I walk up to the table that has two people at it. They are part of the puzzle thing somehow. I show them I've solved it, which somehow leads to to getting the two magic words (they are like the magic words from the Demon Slayer quest in Runescape: gabindo and orindum or something). I am about to go test them out when the table guy stops me. There is some confusion. He says I signed up for a group shopping trip (for groceries and such) and never showed up. I explain to him that I always take the bus, by myself, to get groceries. He won't accept it and keeps pressing the issue, and I keep explaining. It's very frustrating. I just want to get on with the puzzle thing. Eventually switch to talking to a supervisor type (possible he changed into the supervisor). I decide to walk off at some point.

I go into the other room. It's dark. There is some sort of poster or clue there. I try out the first magic word. It takes me to a room with a bunch of levers. They are connected somehow. Pulling one moves another, but only a certain distance and then it's stuck because they are at right angles with each other. It's meant to be solved with a group, but I'm alone since the guy delayed me. I leave.

The supervisor harasses me some more. I just want to be left alone. I HATE being called a liar. He says I've been acting odd. Others have noticed. He says I'm withdrawn lately and everyone thinks I'm acting coldly. Eventually he comes out and says he thinks I'm a sociopath. I am outraged. I am walking away outside and he is following. I tell him he has no right to judge, as he's not a psychologist or psychiatrist or anything of the sort. My actual therapist says I've got major depression and dysthymia, he can ask her (but I'm a little afraid she will turn on me too).

I'm running away holding laundry (where did the laundry come from?). I borrow a friend's car to get away. I park the car to mope, with my head in my hands, bowed over the steering wheel and laundry. A guy thinks I am weird of have money or something. There are a lot of jocks and cheerleader types walking past. The guy forces his way into the car and harasses me about hiding money or something. The car moves forward a bit. I tell the guy to get the fuck out and leave me alone. I go back to moping and am thinking about using the second magic word (they have an effect when going through doors) to get away. I'm upset and depressed about being misjudged and falsely accused.

A different dream, I think. I see my friend's dog, but he is all black instead of black and white. I pet him, but he growls at me and lightly bites me. Then he turns into my brother, D. I think, hang on a minute, I must be dreaming. I get much too excited and wake up. But I don't check if I am actually awake, and I have more dreams after that, so it was probably a false awakening.

Fragments. A lot of people are into a book that some guru type wrote. I remember something about driving and tall buildings. A microwave that is on while open. I hurriedly get out of the way and turn it off. There is a guy who keeps rolling down staircases. A friend would warn me about it, but one time he warns me too late, and I get hit. The power is out. A friend shut off the power, a bit at a time.

I somehow hurt my gums, and there is a bit of loose skin. I yank it out. It hurts, and I taste blood. It seems I hurt myself worse than I thought. I look at what came out, and it keeps getting bigger the longer I look at it, until it ends up looking like a handful of strands of ground meat. I tear it apart and throw it away. That was very alarming and gross and worrying.