BeerySwine

Middle of November, 2011

I had been sleeping about 3 hours a night for a few days when a friend had some heroin and I shot up for the first time. I was in a skype call and was sleepy, every so often I'd nod off and sleep for just a few seconds. The one thing I distinctly remember was a gnome that was all green but had a buckle on his hat so I thought he was trying to disguise himself as a leprechaun.

The second time I got high on heroin was a few days later, still hadn't slept much, and late in the evening (or early in the morning, depending on your perspective) I was sitting up on the floor with my legs on either side of my laptop, I started nodding off again, just closing my eyes and I'd be asleep. The more I did it, the more I remembered I was just dreaming, so after a few times I thought to try some lucid dreaming and manipulate things. Also, everytime I move I immediately come back to consciousness.The one thing I could think of that I wanted more than anything else was a person we'll refer to as Doe. So I would stay still, sitting in the middle of the floor, try and keep my eyes on one spot on the wall and let the lids just slowly close on their own without forcing them. These might be called hypnagogic hallucinations, idk. Nod off, Doe is there, has its own personality, talking with me, I breathe in and wake back up. Nod off again, and the room is replaced with a public park area with benches and a crowd of people sitting and standing, I can hear Doe trying to fight thru the people to get to me, still just sitting on the floor. Doe barely nudges thru, then I take in another breath and awake. Try again, this time Doe is right in front of me, my head is looking forward, Doe is standing up, leans over, I raise my head and awake. I realize if I try and move in the dream I move in reality. I try and look up this time before going for it again, it doesn't quite work, I can't fall back asleep looking up. I decide to go to the restroom before trying again, that way I won't have to get back up for awhile. I'm standing there, just holding steady and urinating when I nod off, and Doe is to my left, says, "Finish what you're doing here, then we can get back to it. Safety." Something like that general sentiment, so I heed Doe's words, wake up and start shaking my head to stay awake, finish up, wash hands, back to the floor. Nod off again, try to have Doe sit on my lap, facing me so we can just hug and hold each other. I wake up almost immediately. From this point on I can't do it again, so I just lie down and get some sleep.