nightmare

I had recently woken from a short lucid dream, and I was thinking, am I awake in RL? And there my uncle who have left he’s earthly body some years ago, where sitting in a chair. This made me fully lucid again.

The time in the morning was around 8 am, because I had waken from a dream and gone back to sleeping and dreaming again in the exact same position before all this. I was sleeping at work.

I asked uncle, what are the meaning of you showing up in my dream. He answers. "Throwing up, and sickness.” (I think the last one was sickness. But I am not exactly sure of that.) I try to ask him some more about the meaning of him, but he gives the same answer. He then goes to the toilet and throws up in a strange way. He's body is all erected, but he somehow manage to put he's head in the bowl. I then ask him. "How it was to die of lung cancer (which was not the cause) or was it that?” I asked. He replied "that the pictures had left no doubt that it had been a lung cancer." He also explained something about how it had been, but I cannot remember.

I asked him how it was to die and being dead.

He said that it was sort of lonely.

He also said that for people who prepare, it can be very good.

I then ask him if he had some tips for me regarding dying. He answered that in a matter of fact he did had a note for me written down.

I said that that probably would not help since this is a dream. He's hand writing was all mixed up, but the paper it was written on was not an ordinary blank sheet. It was a economic report from the Buddhist organization I am a member of. It was typed and I could read it. My teacher had slipped and hurt his leg and the organization was paying for that. The paper was full of similar stuff, and also a bill for filling out.

Now the dream went in another direction. It was a family event. There was a living room, where my uncle where sitting. A hall where the toilets where, and a big kitchen. My sister was there in the Kitchen. She told me something about going to a cinema, while at the same time showing me a fantastic lego house somebody had built with here. It had all the windows going outwards. It was a very nice and worm, “big family” setting with lots of people. I said that I already had arranged to go (home?)(With our dad?), so no cinema for me.

I am in a car with my dad. (I am often in cars in my dreams.) Now we are at the petrol station, and I am noticing that this car does not have a driving computer. There is quite a few details about the car. I am still sort of semi lucid, but when we drive of, my father has taken the wheel. The scenery looks very real, like the Norwegian farmers countryside. Suddenly somebody is knocking. (This could have been someone knocking on a door in RL.) I taught it came from the roof of the car. I asked my dad if I could open the roof, and he said sure. There my brother was laying and this was so strange that I became fully lucid again. I had just had a big lemon candy in my mouth, like the once my grandmother often gave me when I was a kid. I was tired from sucking it. I took it out and had it in my hand. My hand became sticky. Now I was asking my brother on the roof if he would like to have it. He would, so I gave it to him and licked my hand clean, very satisfied with the strangeness of the situation and the niceness of being together the tree of us.

We came to our goal. A house laying on the left side. We were going to set it up and the rest of the family would come. We did not go out of the car, because some people who looked troubled, met up with us. They said that we were late! We had a conversation about this in the car. It came to my understanding that in this place, no one owned a house. It was now the evening and even thou my family had many things there, the time was now so that others could occupy the place legally.
This information struck me as something important about the dream world. I was advocating that we should leave them in peace and go to find another place. We were leaving, but in the last moment, we saw somebody loading uncle Tom’s (I have no uncle in RL with that name) DVD’s player into something, and we decided there and then that this had gone far enough!

Now this turned in to fight. Sort if lie a role playing computer game. I where a full-blown flying lucid spell caster. I do not remember the spells I used, but electricity was part of it. Even thou thy where more people than us, my powers made it easy for us to make them go away. Our side had also turned in to more people. Some of my best male friends had shown up. Now the demons where coming. (As usual, when I go into a fight in dreams, the first one can be won, but then all hell breaks loose!) A flock of human like bad intended creatures where coming for us over the field. Before I could even word anything my brother and my best friend, Kristian, where going for them like computer game A.I characters. Maybe they were thinking that this would not be a problem with my powers. But I was thinking the opposite. These creatures where immune to physical harm and where throwing petrol and breathing fire. I tried to attack them with fire, but they soon had killed my whole family and chased me away. I tried to fly, but I only managed to go a meter or so of the ground. I was running backwards and defending at the same time, which were not efficient. There was a woman going after me. I decided to turn and run as fast as I could into a forest. I went up a tree, but they were burning the forest. I jumped down from this very high tree and woke to RL.

Notes:
My uncle who is deceased was named Tore. I have a LD task, which is to heal Tor, a friend of mine, which are very ill.
In the dream, I took the knowledge about not having any safe possessions as important information. Failing to help letting go of them, not being persistent enough about my decision to leave the situation.Letting other people influence me. In this dream, I was lucid, but I was following the dream much more than creating it.

09.06.14

Five - to six lucid dreams in a row. In RL I am sleeping in a hotel, and are doing a lot of relaxing, meditation and energy exercises. This dreams felt like peeling the personal onion. A follow up to the previous 4-5 lucid dreams in a row from 29.05 http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/auke...elp-dcs-58402/ Here I where lucid in between dreams and felt that DC's where helping me attaining my awareness.

1. Floating borders. Mostly grey tones, but a kind of a "Who framed Roger Rabbit" car was in technicolor at the bottom of a slope near the water. I was lucid and flying. I am sure I was in this dream a bit, but can’t remember details. I was thinking, but not feeling.

2. Found myself in a open parkland with greens, pathways and benches. There were buildings on the left and front of me. There where pictures of heroes or villains on the walls in beautiful drawn comic book art. Everything was clear as real life, but brighter and in comic art. I became very satisfied with how clear and stable everything was. I took a usual look at my hands, but I felt that it was not necessary. Some people who looked somewhat similar to the ones in the pictures, came from a doorway at the left. They were also drawn. I wondered why I was not drawn, and then I was. My arms became cartoonish while I looked at them. I started fighting like in a computer game with one of the characters, but I did not know how to do it. It felt kind of slow and low in spirit, trying to kick him in the shins all the time. I knew I probably could had boosted it up, but my interest was not in this. The setting was not in any way dangerous. In this dream, I am probably more lucid than in the previous.

My sleep was not very deep since I had contact with the physical room I was sleeping in between dreams trough vision.

3. I enter a room witch reminds me of the years I lived together with other students. Its full of people and there is music so there must be a party. I use one of my confident skills, and change the record to a rare and groovy track. A young student woman sits down in the coach next to me, she tells me that she also lives there, that she loved my taste in music, and suggests that we maybe could share a bed. I think that is a good idea, and suggest that we try it out at once. When she lays down, she is shape shifting a bit. She is a bit too thin and something is strange. I can't hold the dream. Again, I just know that I am dreaming. I hear music, but it is not clear. I can see details and colors. However, I cannot feel.

4. I come back to a similar setting. There is a party and many people. I am still Lucid, and now I start to interact with more awareness, not just react. I go out into a small balcony that also are crowded. It seems to hang in the air over a spacious setting, like a blue screen or just space. I turn around and in the doorway stands an older, but healthy looking man. He is white haired, has clear features and is a head taller than the people between us. We talk. What I can surly remember of or conversation is this.

Old Man: The God's do exist. (This is a follow up on a previous LD where I asked a DC "What is God") He has the smile of a teacher who wants followup questions. He also does reminds me quite much of a Buddhist teacher I know.

I: But are they evil?

Old Man: Does not answer, looks like I have asked the wrong question.

I: But there acts is not exactly what you can call humane?

Old Man: Right.

Now there is another DC standing in between us. He is so close to me that he must almost be standing on my toes. He/she is shorter than me and are masked in a black sort of scarf. He stands completely still as if he has not been put to play yet. I get the feeling he is waiting for the ongoing talk to end. I ask the old man if he's real and at the same time touch his face. He feels completely like a shaven, around 60 year’s old man. I get a kind of grey/every day and safe/family member feeling. Our conversation ends with the old man saying something like:

They (The God's) are not in any way, what you would consider safe.

The ninja character, who in until now has been like a statue, comes to life and makes me follow him of the balcony. We go through a short state of grey swirling mist.

5. This dream sets on the inside. (Inside body?) I have that feeling of being inside an organic cave with a laboratory in it. I get the hospital feeling. It is a mixture of stonewalls, not build, but mountain walls. In addition, some tech installations. I immediately gets the feeling that something is wrong. I became fully lucid in the last dream, and are remaining that here. A DC in a white coat are with me at once and expresses that something has gone horrible wrong with my son. I am on a sunken floor in a small waiting room. The DC looks sad and somewhat powerless over the situation. He gives me the feeling that he and some other helpers tried as best they could. On my way into a mountain hall I meet another white coated DC. He is probably the doctor. By now, my feelings are unbearable. I can see a boy sitting in a chair connected to wires. He's head/face looks literary like a mix between a broken white plate, and a head that looks more like a pancake than a head. I am now panicking.

My first response, as I enter the scene is.

He is alive! I thought you said that he was…?

The first health worker looks down.

I turn to the doctor and ask, what has happen here?

Doctor say’s, Double bypass gone wrong.

I take a second and consider my options. I am fully lucid, which means I can do what I like. However, I am now longer in contact with the "this is JUST a dream" feel I had in the past dreams.

I scream: Can't you see what you have done! You have given me this unbearable sensation of feeling in my stomach. I can’t stand staying here any longer! I fly through the ceiling while the DC's looked at me in disbelief. You can’t leave, they said, looking restless. I also had a strong feeling that it was wrong of me to escape but I could not bear to stay there. Never, in my whole life, have I felt such a powerful feeling of despair, loss and anger. I cannot describe it, but it was surely a horrible feel. I would have gladly changed it for some severe physical pain anytime. The rage drove me into my last lucid dream. I now demanded to meet death! Again, going through this grey kind of swirling mist.

6. I met him and just had a quick look at my hands to stabilize before I attacked. Death was as one would expect, cloaked in black, standing in some sort of fire on a stage. Death had a whip or a tail that turned in to an oven-like black thing at the end with a gate that opened that was made of black bars. I dived in to it. First, the dream was all black, I did not know what to expect. Then it shifted into vaguely contours on the walls of organic forms witch could look a little like faces. Deaths black tail was in front of me. It was long and slim and had a triangle on the end. I started to pull it. Still angry and upset. Nevertheless, it was just more tale. I felt extremely angry. The thing I was doing felt as such a desperate and useless action. Then, in a last effort, I worded in a deep angry, almost God like tone.

"COME HERE NOW".

I woke up...

This dream and the next has some synchronicity with real life random events. I feel that the team here are regarding not getting in touch with my heart. This is my main goal in life and this was a great opportunity to practice compassion for others and myself. Instead, I go into uncontrolled rage and try to kill death. I was off course scared when I woke, with that request to Death still ringing in my head.
Around the same time in RL, right after this dream, I was going to act in the wizard of OZ. Which I think, strangely enough, I have never seen or read. Before someone would ask me to do the role as the tin man, and before I knew anything about it. I did a google search on "driftwood" witch came up with a picture of the main characters from this story. I remember seeing the face of a sad and grey tin man and thought he resembled somehow the grey Jester from my previous LD. Then the day after, the director told me that the Tin man had no heart and that he would receive on in the end. I remember thinking that this is not a coincidence.

The night after this dream, my son had a nightmare and woke up screaming. The same night my wife dreamt that my son had defecated a snake. I had a dream a while back where a boy the age of my son, only scary looking, in black clothes, spewed a snake into my mouth. I was brave in this dream and merged with it, but it did hurt so much (more like a physical sensation) in my stomach that I woke. In addition, the double bypass refers to a heart connection.

One more thing that happened a day or so after this dream, which I did not react to then, but which have later made me wonder. I got a mail from a fellow Buddhist. It contained a form for filling out my wishes for my death. This was because I had entered a course earlier this spring named, “Preparing to die.”

See also this that may be a connecting dream: http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/auke...ntinues-58349/