Bamfish

Last night, somehow I was able to have what felt like an hour long lucid dream in the span of 10 minutes. I must have gone into REM sleep almost instantly. I know this, because my friend Adam <username: Salamus> was going through relaxation techniques right next to me and told me so when I woke up, exhilarated.


As soon as I was asleep, I was lucid. I tried to yell out from my dream to Adam that I was having a lucid dream without waking myself up, and he responded, though I later found out it was just in my head.

Next thing I know, I find myself driving down a highway, expertly switching tapes in a portable tape player I had next to me without looking, suddenly remembering that I've gone through years of training for that one action. I said to myself:
"The cops can't catch me; I'm dreaming!" and consequently slam on the gas pedal. I must have been going 120 mph or so, but when I look down at the speedometer, it is still showing 50 mph. I shake it off: "Well, it must be broken."
I pull off to a gas station and walk in the door. Instead of a door chime, I hear a the bleating of a goat. Something wet and sticky is against my face. At this point I realize I've been on my hands and knees the whole time, and the thing against my face is the sweaty arm of a heavily tattooed and pierced dream character. Smartly, I stand up.
The DC says to me, "Say, did you know that this gas station's cashier will give out Robotussin for free?"
Intrigued, I say, "Really?"
He replies, "No, actually she only gives it to three guys that she slept with after this one party."
I say, "Oh."
My attention then shifts to the man at the front of the line, who is buying a Xbox 360 game, and seems quite upset with the allegedly slutty cashier.
She says calmly to the man, "I'm sorry sir, but the FBI requires a signature for any purchase over 10 dollars."

After that, I wake up to share my dream with Adam, who has not yet fallen asleep.