non-lucid

Hi I'm Bella Dior this is my first entry in my dream journal.
I've been lucid dreaming since I was a kid among other things as well three weeks go a great friend of mine died. The ones that your wish you were like growing up. Basicly my hero died.

I chose not to cry because I liv by a code that I shouldn't cry because its selfish because your crying cuz u are going to miss them. I dreamt about her. It was lucid and non lucid the whole time. I thought I kept waking up but it was just another dream.all night over and over I couldn't control anything and it felt so real. I've been shaking ever since I been woke.

The dream started of as a lucid dream so I'm in school having a paintball gun fight. When I'm walking down a hallway and then I heard lighters by bad meets evil. That's the song that reminds me of her. The music is coming out the classroom. So I tried closing the door with a wave of the hand. It didn't work. So I walked to the door to see her sitting in there. I walked in to say hi. She was talking in sign language. She said do you see me .. I love u I miss u over and over in sign language. I replied with your dead. It felt so real but since I knew it was a dream I didn't try to hug her or say my goodbyes.

It's like the whole world changed and I woke up. I looked at the time it was 745am I got up to eat and heard this buzzing noise walking into the kitchen so I kept walking I felt massive energy coming from the kitchen so I kept walking. she was standing in my kitchen looking at me I said are you real. She replyed in sign language I love u I miss u can you see me.
I tried to get closer but my feet was stuck I couldn't move.then I woke up

Again I thought I woke up I had feel asleep at work when we had a party. Lol my job doesn't have parties so I knew it was a dream but I wanted to stay my crush was the so I was talking to him. He asked me to dance so we started to dance. I looked over and saw her sitting in the chair laughing she motioned in sign language he's cute and I'm crazy. So I walked over there the closer I got to her the more people started to fade away. I got up to her she signed I love u I miss u can u see me? I replied I see u. She jumped up and hugged me. It felt so real I could feel her energy her locks her warmth. I said I miss you I love you. With my voice and she disappeared everyone was gone so I woke up. I woke up to a bloody nose and tears on my face. I don't even know what this dream means but I can't stop shaking