lucid

I'm totally new here. I suffer from a chronic pervasive sleep disorder. Too long of a story for here and now and this place. In any case , yesterday, I finally screamed in my bathroom at the sink. "Why is this house drowning me in negative energy no matter how much I try". i should have known better than to speak it. that night, i dreamed 3 men outside with guns. They are threatening harm, rape, and death. I feel helpless. It was so real I wasn't aware I was dreaming because typically My dreams become lucid as soon as I have passive triggers mostly unrealistic dream events pretty much 3-4 times a week i become conscience. I often then become a passive participant and even kick a** in any way I Please or just enjoy making things up as I go along. i even like to just stay assive and let the dream unfold while I'm completely aware I'm dreaming.

By no means would these intruders on my property in this dream had any power had I become lucid. I would have been a bad B with a samurai sword (in my dream of course) chopping these guys up flying all over the place. But noooo, I'm calling 911 with a woman who seems totally unconcerned and I'm begging away for help. She says help is on the way. Some time passes, banging on my door, more screaming outside. I'm frantically trying to figure out how to protect myself and my child while I wait for help. I dial 911 again pleading. The lady could care less and says she forgot to dispatch help. I wake somewhere in to be greatful I was dreaming.

I fall back to sleep and have this amazing lucid dream I didn't want to wake from where I spent the day with some lover I've never met. He loved me to my soul and I had no anxiety or stress just companionship. I can interpret the 2nd dream easy cake but the first one I still have trouble channeling and changing circumstances when my dreams are too realistic and negative. I'm trying techniques. Even in sleep paralysis. I can't control the circumstances. I left once when I knew it was safe but I was hoping to meet someone and it was just sunny and the streets were empty. I thought awww boring...just decided to go back to my room and lay on top of my sleeping body. Sounds strange to someone who hasn't experienced it but but I've done it many times since Ive been doing this for 20 years since i was 10. I'm just scared to leave the room.