Sailing the Noosphere

1. I'm attending Cincinnati Opera's production of "The Magic Flute." It seems to take place in a great hall instead of the traditional auditorium, and our seats have rather bad views. However, the ambiance is very nice, a candlelit affair. Plates of food are brought out with appropriate themes for every aria, and each patron is given a book with explanatory notes to the action.

2. I'm playing in a chess tournament at the local library, and I manage to win the whole event. I get $100 from a large roll of cash as my reward; I notice that there are ticket stubs and coupons attached to the end of the roll as well. I start to browse the library, which has recently expanded its collection to include food and wine. Little samples can be "checked out" for tasting purposes. I sample a decent white wine, and as I do the old lady who organized the chess tourney asks me to complete her bridge foursome. I'm reluctant, but I eventually agree and text my mom that I'll be late to meet her.

1. I go to the Cincinnati Art Museum with L.H. and Clinton McK. We're there for a special gallery that I've already visited. It contains primarily works by Normal Rockwell, but there are also cases filled with intricate old clocks. The centerpiece is an installation called the "Wall of Memories," which is comprised of hundreds of small video screens. Sometimes they each show a different scene, but the most impressive moments are when all screens act in unison to create a larger picture. An idyllic country scene starts to play as we leave the gallery.

Clinton stays behind as L.H. and I head out. Unexpectedly, she breaks out into a run, and I have to move very fast to catch her. My movement is like a gliding run, almost a skating motion, but I am only wearing shoes. When we reach obstacles and stairs I vault over them, eventually ending up in an auditorium like that from a previous dream about the Cincinnati Museum Center. I recognize this and go very semi-lucid; sensations are more real but I lack control. For whatever reason I start eating a delicious hunk of Cheddar cheese.

2. I go with L.H. as my date, to a grade school reunion, which ends badly. I distinctly remember myself saying, "These people made me the neurotic wreck I am today," but little else.

3. I'm watching ice hockey, and the goalie is making a series of incredible saves.

1. I find myself scuba diving with two attractive female archaeologists. As we explore a ruined site, I find a pot that appears to be made of intricately woven rattlesnake tails. I take out a green underwater Sharpie and label the artifact, adding the poetic tag "Here be dragons, the children of the gods." After I take the pot back up above water, my companions chide me for my extra writing.

2. I go back to my high school over the summer to take a refresher course in Latin. My senior lounge has been moved to the basement and vastly upgraded, with plush seating and large flatscreen TVs. As I go to fetch my belongings from a locker, I find that they have been moved from where I left them; there's not enough locker capacity to go around, and I inadvertently took one from a freshman girl.

100th DJ entry! Woot!

1. I have bought a bag of pot from my brother's friend D.H. I smoke it, and sure enough I get a very high/drunk feeling in dream. I approach a mirror, and see that the pupils of my eyes are rapidly dilating in and out to an unnatural degree.

2. I'm on a rafting trip with my graduate adviser. My raft tips over, and I fall into the filthy water of the river. I find myself almost trapped beneath another raft commanded by a fat kid, but do manage to escape.

3. I'm driving my brother's car around town. I notice that many of the billboards and street signs are covered in graffiti. I also notice that my brakes are unresponsive, so I'm forced to drive dangerously, rolling through stop signs and barely avoiding many collisions.

1. I somehow manage to get myself into the tour pickup truck for the cello rock band Rasputina. Their frontwoman, Melora Creager, is utterly emaciated and is doing a large quantity of cocaine. I get dropped off a block from the venue in which they're playing, and walk to the venue confused and dejected.

2. I'm in a Wal-Mart, being rather foolish and clumsy. I kick a chicken cage, with a chicken in it. It seems that I only break the front of the cage, which is glass, leaving the rest intact, but when I look at the cage the chicken is dead. An employee demands that I pay a ridiculous price for the two items.

3. No details other than subject matter about cello playing and a double false awakening.

5 separate entries? Good night of recall...

1. I'm watching the Simpsons, where Moe and Barney are the only two in Moe's Tavern. Both are fairly drunk and feeling vulnerable, and after a bit of dialogue they exchange a single kiss. Moe admits he was curious, and as soon as he does the bar begins to collapse around him. Dream cuts to "South Moe's," recast as an upscale drinking spot. However, pots of a black goop bubble behind the surface of the bar. Drinkers are littering the floor with their empty bottles, and as they do so the goop reaches out of its pots to grab them. The drinkers seem to dissolve before my eyes; Milhouse (dressed as Admiral Ackbar) screams "It's a trap!," while his mother's head lulls sickeningly on a bleached-white spinal column. Eventually Moe is the only one left in the bar, and he angrily tips over the pots. All the drinkers emerge, unharmed, and Moe orders them to clean up the mess as a lesson in environmental stewardship.

2. My high school friend S.M. has asked me to text him on Facebook, but I ignore his request. The next day, he and M.B. show up at my house bearing Magic cards, and as we play they both admit that they've been crushingly bored. I false awaken, then go to the computer and log on to Facebook. I see his text request again and ask myself, "Is this a dream?" I fail the reality check miserably and fail to go lucid.

3. I'm reading about Tarot readings I've done in my journal, only to realize that I've forgotten the staff portion of the Celtic Cross.

4. I'm at a flea market with the family, and we enter the main building through a sort of farmer's market area. Most things are reasonably priced, but bananas are $8 a pound and my mom flips out about it. Dad, fed up with her, enters a room containing clothes and life jackets. My brother has a smartphone with him, and dad wants to use it to check prices. The internet at the market can only be accessed through a medieval themed game interface, which costs $35. He buys it, but finds it very hard to enter web addresses, as letters change after entry (failed RC). Eventually he succeeds, and sees that his parking can be validated if he goes to the student union at my new graduate school. As he logs off, the game reports his session as a "royal history."

5. I'm at college, where I'm taking "History of Baseball." I get destroyed by the first test, and walk out dejected when I meet my old roommate, J.L. He carries a Whiffle bat and ball, and we play a little.

1. I'm engaged in a massive pillow fight at the old research station. All of the fellow researchers are there, along with a couple of high school chums. After a while, I jog off into the dark to explore, where I meet one of the researchers, E.D.

2. I run onto the Cincinnati ballpark's right field. No one seems to act immediately; the announcers booms out, "They don't tell us this shit." I make an arc to center field, where there's a wall and a door that lead out to the river. A burly black security guard with glasses makes a move to stop me, but I easily maneuver out of his way. I vault the wall and head for the door. The guard appears again; this time he actually grabs me and I'm forced to punch him. My getaway vehicle is a Burger King delivery car.

1. I'm watching a documentary about Star Wars. The show talks about drafts of the script and plot, as well as special effects. In one deleted scene, R2D2 uses his electric hookup to stun Darth Vader. Another part of the show demonstrates how Count Dooku's lighting encodes subliminal messages one letter at a time if viewed frame to frame.

2. I'm playing soccer in my Grandma's backyard. I'm in drag, and I seem to be playing with a couple of cartoon women, including Marge from the Simpsons. The other team is conversely girls dressed in boy's clothing. The game itself is entertaining, with ridiculous combination shots.

3. I'm hanging out with my friends C.W. and K.G., playing video games and being bored. K. goes to his room and fetches a sci-fi series on DVD. The discs are wrapped in foil, and are advertised as seen on an anime.

4. I'm being babysat by Sideshow Bob from the Simpsons. He microwaves a plate of food, pressing a button with a stylized atom symbol to "nuke" it.

1. I'm at the movies with my friends K.G. and C.W. My brother and his friends are there as well, and we start talking about a new sport called "sniper golf." It's pretty much self-explanatory; one team plays scramble golf as the other tries to pick them off with sniper paintball guns, then the teams switch.

2. I'm playing a Survivor challenge game that the host introduces as "capture the bag." The arena is set up in a cross shape, with four sloped paths leading to a high plateau in the center. Two teams of three try to throw bags at a dinosaur statue in the first round, with the most hits winning the round. In the second round, the goal is to get all six bags by any means necessary, and a fracas ensues.

3. I'm at my old grade school when I'm called to the principal's office to see government agents. I'm a little scared, but when I arrive they just want to say hi and give me some candy. I start walking back through the halls, boasting to everyone I meet, when a teacher rolls her eyes and tells me to go home.

4. I'm playing Drummania in an arcade, a game like Rock Band. Towards the end of the song I'm playing, the standard notes turn into a series of walls, which my sticks break down.

1. I'm on a road trip in the family car. We're on a bumpy path through a forest when I realize I really need to piss. I get out of the car, find a clearing with plenty of rocks and relieve myself. As I do so, the scene seamlessly transitions into a house. When I finish up, I realize that the house is full of sorority girls who are studying hard, and mortified I run out of the building onto the porch. I'm ready to find the car and leave when suddenly they all run out of the house, dressed only in towels. Some say as they pass, "He's cute!," others, "He's weird!" They gather some distance away, and soon a group of frat guys gather and start to do comedy routines.

2. I'm in a drive-though market, where one can pull up to stalls selling expensive deli sandwiches.

3. President Obama thinks it is his last to live and goes about accordingly, kissing random girls and enlisting passerby into a spontaneous, show-stopping musical number.

4. While at an orchestra practice, I notice a beautiful but disdainful blonde violinist across the room. I know that I will never see her again, so after practice I go to exchange a word or two. I am not at all put off or scared by her as we talk.

I'm going through what I feel is the Catholic ceremony of Confirmation at my old high school, but it is nothing like the actual event. Instead, each candidate and his or her sponsor walks together to the altar, where the sponsor presents a large wooden cross to the candidate. A preparatory sacrament of communion is also performed with great importance. The line to do the ceremony snakes around and out of the chapel proper, up and down a flight of stairs. I'm behind my old high school classmate K.C., who is complaining about the wait. The line doesn't move for some time, then suddenly lurches forward. My mom and brother are in the pews watching me; I let other classmates like J.V. go ahead so I can talk with my family. I notice that my brother's head is in a microwave, which does strike me as odd. I then loop through the line, debating whether I'll get communion or not. I get my wooden cross from college professor Dr. R., then end up getting the host from my own mom and feel guilty about it. Apparently she also feels guilty, varying the usual formula with "I don't believe this is the body of Christ."

Ah, horrible recall last few days finally broken.

1. My friend P.M. is renting a camper from a couple of Russian guys. He drives me to it, but when we arrive it's really a dump. He brushes it off and says he has something more important to show me. He's apparently invented a time machine! The dream transitions to a futuristic room, containing a machine with five chambers. In one chamber, a man in Renaissance garb is sent to his native time. In another, an alien that looks like a dolphin is sent into the future. Yet another chamber contains a single banana, which is sent somewhere unknown. I crack a smile at that absurdity. Finally, two quarreling lovers are sent somewhere. I false awaken and start to dream journal about it, then actually awaken (big failed RC, and screw you subconscious).

2. I'm a journalist, currently skulking around an abandoned African city. I go through the corridors and stairways of a dark factory, looking for the focus stone of a changeling child.

1. I forget under what circumstances it happens, but I do the nose pinch reality check and realize that I'm dreaming. I do the standard hand rub to stabilize, then see a window to the side of me. I have nothing better in mind, so I jump through it with ease and emerge on the other side into a winter scene. I start to fly and surge upwards through a cloud of snow. I realize that it's really rather cold, so I focus and summon a pair of gray wool pants. They appear in my hands with proper texture, and when I put them on they feel very soft and warm. I think about going into space, and as I look around I see a balloon ship. I fly over to it and fire up its engines, continuing to rise all the time. I try to change my clothes into a spacesuit, but I feel myself losing control...

I false awaken, and emerge into a scene where my mom and I are baking, with flour strewn everywhere. I ask nonchalantly if she was in the previous dream, and she responds that she's skilled enough to manage her own control. I talk excitedly about the concept of shared dreaming, admitting that it's probably "metaphysical bullshit."

2. I'm with some girl in a room that seems almost like a temple. Around a central altar, where we both are laying, are twelve pillars that correspond to the signs of the zodiac. She is initially very aggressive and defiant, but I calm her down and it seems like we go through a relationship in superfast motion with stages informed by zodiac signs.

3. I'm playing a game of hide and seek (using parkour to maneuver) on the Havana map of Call of Duty. My team has my brother and a couple of professional wrestlers, while my mom's team has her old friends. I eventually manage to track their last team member down and deliver the tag in a room from my own house.

1. I'm playing Unknown Armies with the usual suspects in a bedroom at my old college. As the session draws to a close, people are getting ready for bed. I unfortunately have to share a bed with K.R., who is quite a large fellow, while everyone else has separate sleeping arrangements. He has a scar on his back, and when I touch it in curiosity he screams out from sleep. M.G. and V.W. walk in to say goodnight; V. looks particularly attractive in a one-piece nightie. I can't sleep, so I go out into the night. I end up in a dorm that seems to be having a Homecoming party.

However, everything is in 19tth century military style, almost Napoleonic. H.B. is dressed in epaulets, playing odd military boardgames with people I don't recognize. The bathrooms are also odd, and I really need to use them. I end up avoiding the matter entirely and pissing on an inconspicuous wall looking out into a courtyard. Of course, a group of other friends, (Q., N.H., M.T.) take this opportunity to walk by (dressed in regular clothing). They look and laugh at me, and I turn away in shame.

I start to almost float, bouncing off the walls as I move down a different hallway (everyone is back to normal). There's a bunch of rowdy old alums making too much noise, and I get past them to a proper bathroom at the end of the hall. There are posters hanging across from the sinks for odd metal bands, including the real-life band "Bigelf." The venue, however, is the fictional "Redneck Mountain." As I look in the mirror, I realize that I look like another student, a Jacob E. I do a double take, and recognize that it's a reality check to go lucid. I start washing my hands, expecting the activity to stabilize me, and I do feel the sensations of running water and friction. However, at this point I've been dreaming for over 10 minutes and I can't hold on any longer.

2. Fragment of a dinner with my future grad school mentor and family. He stays quiet throughout the meal until we ask about his work. When he talks about genes that manage magnetic particles, I stand up in amazement.

1. I'm in a store that sells an odd combination of hardware tools and traditional games. I go to the basement, where there seem to be mostly tools. There's a door in the basement room, though, which leads to another room with wizard robes and hats lining the shelves. Yet another door opens into the store's main office, in which the employees have set up an Xbox. There's a DDR setup on the console and I indulge myself.

2. I'm playing an MMORPG with a strange blend of fantasy and sailing set on the East Coast of the USA. There are five races, including a species of intelligent giraffe people called the E'loi who can only speak under specific conditions. They can talk either to members of the warrior class, or they can talk to anyone while their heads are submerged in a tank of water with fish in it. My brother and I spend some time messing around with the boating mechanics, and I manage to strand my E'loi character's boat on a street.