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08 Apr 19:

First dreams recorded in 4 years. 2 fragments and one "solid"



- At a store, think I'm looking for new shirts

- Bookstore

- At a friends' parents house. I'm sitting at a table and across me sits someone who feels and gives off a vibe of his sister but looks completely different. She talks about quieting her job. Not sure who's choice it is though.
Somewhat further down the dream I see his father talk to my friend about the mother who apparently did something wrong or made a mistake that they find amusing.

A man sits in a still burning wrecked car trying to get the attention of the shopkeeper across the street but he doesn't reply. Frustrated the man, let's call him Nick, calls out to a friend and a few seconds later a man we will call... Bob appears.
Nick and Bob start bickering for a short bit and the scene changes with Bob saying; let's start your next lesson!

The three of us (Nick and Bob still haven't acknowledged me) are standing on a cliff with a view over an ocean. Bob is going to learn Nick how to fly a car. Between them is the wrecked car Nick was in before, no longer burning. Apparently teleportation is a great way to put out fires.
Nick gets in the car while Bob starts waving his arms around like a magician. He says to Nick he will get the car flying and that he has to take over.
Bob then turns to me still waving his arms and tells me he is using telikineses to get the car going up. It's much like controlling a marionette.
He then turns his attenttion back to Nick who's pretty high and far up in the sky now. Bob drops his marionette act and we wait.
The second Bob dropped his hands the car starts falling down and Nick knows he's got no control what so ever and decides to jump out of the car.

- Does Nick know how to fly?
- Hmm, no I don't believe he does.

At the last second I see Nick trying to grap something and a parachutepack appears on his back. The chute deploys.
Nick gently lands near the coastline and we assume he's OK. Bob simply jumps of the cliff, being the badass pro LDer he is.
I decide to jump after them using the parachute I just assume I have on whilst I jump. But it doesn't deploy on time and I crash into the ocean. I get above water but a wave pours water down my throat making it difficult to breath. I'm suddenly aware of my clothes and as I get more aware of them the start getting heavier. Eventually I drown and wake up being short of breath for a moment.

Three entries ago I talked about creating a dreamworld. A place that's always going to be there.
But it was kind of short and I only talked about what I wanted to create.

Because in fact, I already have a consitent dreamworld. A non lucid one but it's still there, and I think most of us have one.
The only problem I have is that it's a copy of my real environment, it has the feel of waking life but when you gain awareness in it you see the differences.
For example the town square in my dream is way bigger than in waking life and also the church is misplaced.
Also the street I live in is still in the state it was in 10 years ago. Now there are new houses and such.

I've visited it many times and revisited it when reading about it.

When I talk about the dreamversion of my town I have the feeling of talking about an actual place I can visit.
I guess the easy way of going there is through false awakenings.
---

But now to talk about the developments in creating a world by the conscious me.
Because I few the dreamversion of my hometown not my creation. It was created by my unconsciousmind during non-lucids and I simply recorded the memory. What I want to do is kind of a reversed version of this.
I want to create the memory of it in waking life visualize it and visit it in daydreams so that one day I wil visit this place in my dreams.
I've been drawing the island I mentioned in a previous entry. A big floating island, and I did some searches for reference and came to the conclusion that this won't work yet.
An entire island is to big to start with.
Instead I wil start with a small building, a little house or something. It will be simple with not much going on. I remember my last lucid dream and how realistic it was compared to the real world. I believe this was the case because I was in a restroom. It was a small room with little details and was therefore easy to stabilize.

How I plan on doing this now is to biuld from the inside.
Design a small room in which it's easy to stabilize, so it's easier to create the expectations outside of it.
Eventually I'll get back to the floating island even though I found out it's on of the less original ideas, maybe that's because it's also one of the more awesome.

Last night I had two conversations with DCs. One of them could be a dream guide but I'm skeptical about things like that untill I experience the bigger meanings of Lucid Dreaming for myself.

The first was an older man, who I knew in the dream was a dutch comedian but with slight changes in appearance.
We talked about life, society, and me.
It was weird how comfortable the conversation went because I always found this man a bit of a prick. But then all of the sudden when we were talking about me he complimented me about how I thought about things which really touched me.
It was strange for me because I'm not a person that seeks validation from others about what I do, let alone people who don't know me. So to feel this joy about a stranger complimenting me about something personal was really out of character for me.

In another dream I was on a train that was about to make it's stop. On the station I met a man, about my age (22) and he was saying goodbye to his friends and family.
We made eye contact and suddenly this feeling of having a very strong bond with this young man came over me, a sudden feeling of terrible loss came over me because he was leaving.
He saw these emotions taking me over and seperated himself from the group of people that were his friends and family and walked over to me.
It is a shame we didn't have a change to spent more time together; He said.
Yes, our time has been too short, just too short; I answered.

This brief exchange of words was ended by an uncomfortable hug and he got on the next train.
Even while I'm writing this right now I feel kinda sad about it.

Talk about sadness. I'm not sure how these things work in other countries but in the Netherlands most of companies, bussinesses or firms or whatever hand out christmass packages for their staff.
It ussualy contains things for the holidays.
In my dream, George Harrison was walking around with one of these packages. It was weird how he was his younger self and in black and white, the rest of the dream was in colour.
Anyway, out of nowhere Steven Tyler shows up going completely mad and rips the package out of Harrisons hands. He shakes it about throws it one the ground stamps it to a pulp then punches George Harrison in the face and runs of.

I was so random.

Nov 12th '12

Well my dreamself has sunk to a new low. I was out with a friend of mine scouting for locations untill we find a small abandoned space. I think it looked like an old motel or something.
We get out of the car and decide this would be great to start up our own brothel. As I look too my right there is a big guy standing next to me, I guess he's our bouncer now.
The minute we made the decision a girl comes up to us out of nowhere applying for a job. I say sure why the hell not while at the same time I get a feeling something isn't right here.
A guy comes driving by, asks if we're open for business already and we say yes.
He get's in talks to the girl we just hired when we hear a bunch of other cars come our way.
As soon as they stop we can clearly see they're cops (american cops? where the hell am I?)
I quickly look to my friend and our bouncer, I say to him what our story is.
I made up that we are holding a stampcollectors convention. But as I look behind me the cops get closer.
I realize this has to be a dream, so I close my eyes and start spinning around (a technique I just read about again) as I spin I keep saying this is a dream I have to get out of here, this is a dream I have to get out of here.
I guess because I was in an unknown location I thought of home and that where I ended up, back at my town.
Beyonce and more artists are performing and everything seems normal again.

- Later in the dream I'm at another big party.
- At an optician

Nov 10th '12

I'm getting pretty bored out of my dreams, but that's because my real life is stuck into a routine as well.
The last few nights the majority of my dreams took place around my workplace and the drive home. I was especially evident in the last two counting last nights dream.
It always starts out at the laboratory, then I get into a car and on the way home I fast forward to my town and something happens.

Last night was not different.
Again, I'm at work sorting out bloodsamples when I drop some (3 to be exact) I'm crawling on the floor trying to reach them when a colleague walks in and laughs at the site of my bend over with my butt facing her.
I gathered the tubes and the dream continues.
I'm now sitting behind a laptop, in front of me is the new blonde girl I mentioned in yesterdays journal.
A friend of mine then sends me a message saying he knows her name.
Now apparently in the dream I use an outdated Dutch social media platform and I type her name in the search engine.
I have to mention me thinking in the dream how weird her name looked. I said to myself how it had to many 'h's in it I believe she was called Mahahrijelijn or something. In Dutch Marije or Marjolijn would have been normal, but Mahahtijelijn isn't right. (lucidity chance missed)
As I type it in I realize she's sitting right in front of me with two other girls.
On of them see's me looking her up and thinks it's weird, I feel embaressed.
---
On my way home while I stop at a friends house, he's just bought a house in real life but it needs work.
In this dream it's finished sort of. And I guess there's a housewarming party.
I remember I went to him uninvited, I just wanted to say hi and see how he was doing.
But as I walked through his house I saw all kinds of people, some I knew others were strangers to me.
And then this strange feeling of rejection came over me, or a feeling of me not supposed to be there.
It was strange cause we're good friends and some of our mutual friends were there but somehow I didn't belong among his company.
---
Last thing I remember is a fragment of my boss and someone else being in a football stadium (the european kind of football).
My boss (an aged gray lady) got into trouble and threw something onto the field and with a lot of comotion she was sent out of the stadium.

Nov 3rd '12

Woke up remembering having recalled two dreams during my first wake up in the night.
But I didn't write anything down so I had to do with whatever was left in my head in the morning, which was a lot, and also very little.

I recalled 6 to 7 fragments moments if you will, here they are in no particular order.

- Bought myself some new gadget, looked like a DVD player or something, I remember plugging it in and feeling exited about it.
- Had a conversation with someone I know on DeviantArt. We talked about taking request and stuff.
- Witnessed some sort of debate between Obama and Romney didn't remember what was said. I do remember the speakers not looking like the men at all. I think one of them was a woman even.
- Got something to eat with two friends of mine. Waiter asked a weird question which made me realie something was wrong with the whole situation. (lucid opportunity here)
- A familiar dreamlocation only it was inside and dark. Had a little conversation with a guy I barely know in real life.
- Went to buy some new socks, flirted with a girl, again strong emotions here.

Nov 2nd ' 12
Bedtime 11:00 PM

3 mentionable dreams last night.

02:00 AM

1) Beer drama:
I'm out shopping with an old colleague from my previous job in my hometown.
We stop for a moment to have a drink outside at a cafe terrace. After I've order two beers we already start to move on and I'm just about to enter a shop.
As I enter the building it turns out to be some kind of clinical sample processing department which reminds me of where I work. (I work for a pharmaceutical research company)
On of my current colleague's already there, greats me and walks away. Then a small/bit overweight/balding unknown man comes up to me and gives me two bottles of beer (Hertog Jan google it).
He explains there is a reason to celebrate but I don't remember what it was about.
I drink my beer alone when fatman returns, this time he's stressed and tells me some high placed gentleman are coming over today to have a look around the workplace.
He tells me to hide my last beer but there are no trashcans in the room. I turn around for the first time in this room and see a staircase.
Running up the staircase I take a right, it look like this floor is some kind of childrens department in a hospital only the beds are genuine childrens beds and not your typical hospitalbeds.
I see a girl sitting upright in her bed looking at me shocked and baffled, I now realize I'm making a wild or bewilderd impression on her.
After I apologize to the girl for scaring her like that I dash to the leftwing of the floor.
In the hallway a boy in wearing a black hoody is playing XBOX360, I jump over his controlercables and march into the leftwing.
This floor is open to look downstairs and I see the clicical room I started in, I also see some fancy looking men walking through the hallway.
Someone calls my name to come down so I quickly hide the beer between some pillows and walk back as the dream fades.

5:43 AM
2) Jimi Hendrix' Water Festival
I'm in a picture, I can't move and everything is in a sepia tint.
I see some kind of wooden contruction like a rollercoaster but it isn't a rollercoaster.
In front of this construction is a small river, out of which 3 firehoses emerge to a length of about 10m (or about 33 ft).
Now there is something interesting about these hoses, because men are riding them in a real elaborate way.
They cling the firehose between two barrels and keep a hold on these barrels by pushing one with their legs two the second barrel which they hold on to with their hands and arms.
Now the scenery starts moving, I can here the man laugh, the water, and for some reason Jimi Hendrix' Voodoo Chile is playing in the background.
I look around to see a man that greats me, it startles me and thats when the 3rd dream starts.

3) Riots and paintings
I'm downtown where all the bars are and see my father entering one.
I keep out as I hear a loud; bang!
Looking throug an alleyway I see people fleeing from something or someone, but I soon find out it's the cops and that there are riots.
I try to escape but all streets are blocked or to full with rioting people, which makes me angry, I encouter two girls I know who also seem scared and confused.
The look for an escape continues for a while untill I calm down.
It's at this moment the riots stop, the sky indicates daytime (it was nighttime before).
Down the street I see market stalls.
Joined by one of my female friends (can't remember who) I walk towards a stall with paintings.
The one selling the paintings is an old woman who reminds me of a Dutch actress.
She looks at me like we've met before and I realize we have. I remember meeting her before in a dream.
The lady then explains how we've met before, I was with another friend and we made paintings, paintings that she is now selling.
She shows me 4 paintings, two depict a rat and the other two are kind of abstract and are made using only blue and yellow.
I look closer at the last painting, the lady tells me it's the one I made last time.
Now I can see that there are four words written on the painting but I can only read two.
It's in dutch and says, dromen and verdwijning. This translates to dreams and disappearance or vanishing