lucid

I was being lead somewhere, along with a group of people, some that I knew and some that I didn't. We were walking through a labyrinthine group of builldings and we got to a parking garage with a set of doors on the left and I noticed that there was a television monitor on the wall just above it, encased in a metal and thick glass frame, which displayed us for the purpose of showing us that we were being filmed.
I said to somebody that I knew this place although it didn’t actually look familiar. I knew I hadn’t been here before but I remember thinking that if you’ve seen one prison you’ve seen them all.
We, the group I was with, entered through the doorway and travelled through a hall until we reached a little waiting room. There were guards in there and it looked like your average prison visitor centre. The group I entered with all broke off into different parts of the room and then came together again, as they started getting themselves something to eat or drink out of a nearby kitchen and people were making themselves coffee or tea and grabbing food out of the fridge. I didn’t own any of the food so I just grabbed a tray of ice out of the fridge and started chewing on ice cubes.
There were both males and females in my group and I started making my way around offering people ice cubes a few partook, some even putting them in their coffee or tea.
Two girls I saw had started eating sandwiches and had decided that they needed to hide the fact that they were doing so by erasing all evidence that they had been there. This was done by cleaning chalk off of a blackboard. I can’t remember what was written on there but they were desperately trying to erase the writing and a big yellow star that was on there as well.
I suddenly said “I need to do a reality check” and everyone looked at me like I was insane. Suddenly, there was a psych standing there and he was telling people that obviously I was suffering from some severe mental health problems because I had started losing my mind and understanding of what was real and what was not if I had to constantly check if I was living in reality. There were many stifled laughs and barely suppressed giggles at my expense as he said it with a voice full of scorn and derision.
That actually made me feel very self-conscious of my reality check itself and instead of looking at my hands and counting my fingers, like I prefer to do, I held my nose shut and closed my mouth and attempted to breathe in.
I tried to do it as discreet as possible. It worked, I could still breathe, everyone was staring at me giving me disapproving glares as I did it again just to double check, not so discreet this time.
I could still breathe, again. I continued to do RC's a few more times because I was still in disbelief.
I didn’t know what to do and suddenly felt under pressure as I felt them all staring at me as I realised that I was the centre of attention and that is something that makes me anxious in RL. I tried to make them stop looking at me but I wasn’t really still certain that it was actually happening and they didn’t stop glowering, I tried to get away by any means necessary, which was flying, in this case, I just kind of floated there not really floating for very long, just hovering for a few seconds as I tried again and again growing ever more desperate and irrational.
I distinctly remember thinking ‘It’s just no good, I just don’t believe enough, maybe this is all still part of my dream and I’m not really lucid at all. Maybe I am only dreaming that I am lucid’ At that point I stopped trying to do anything, there was a lot of self-loathing creeping in and I knew it wasn’t a good path to go down but I couldn’t stop it from spiralling out of control.
My alarm went off and up I got.