ember

I remember explaining to someone my reasoning about wanting to go to New Zealand, because I loved big mountains...

I was, for some reason, going into my old middle school with people from my high school to eat dinner in the cafeterias. We must have been together for some sort of a program, but I'm not really sure. I know that I stayed behind a bit while everyone went to dinner. Then, I walked towards the cafeteria and began to feel kind of numb... my whole body was pretty numb, but in a "feeling-sick" kind of way. I knew I would have to lay down or something eventually, but first I checked the line. I walked towards the end of the folded line and saw that it was too long, so I began to walk back down the hallway.

On my way back, I saw an open room with some things that interested me (I can't remember what they were). I walked into the room - a dimly lit computer lab - and saw some very new-looking computers (some of which were turned on) and identical, quality backpacks that were resting on most of the chairs, all with a sleek laptop in them. My reaction to this was natural, but right after seeing them the principal (or someone in "high authority" at the school) walked in rather quickly to bend over and quickly use one of those new computers (it was touch screen, I had another natural reaction to this fact). He mentioned to me what was going on and why he was in a rush: a student with some sort of known health problem or impairment was having an emergency situation and he was getting her help. Apparently it was a really big deal because he said that she would be in the hospital for a while. Then, he said I should make her a piece of art for when she's in the hospital. I was all, "Why would you say this? I'm not an artist," and he was all, "Actually, I've seen some past work you've done, you should/can do it,"- he then walked over to the wall of the room and pulled up some sort of cover that hid a piece of art that I had previously made. It was a large piece with some nice shading in shadowy areas, lots of blues, angles, and in the bottom portion some nice water that was moving naturally as water in my dream (I seemed to know in the back of my mind that it was a dream, because I reacted as if I knew this when I saw the water, it made me smile). I recalled making this in a previous art class, but I had definitely forgotten about it since (I never actually made the piece). I said something like, "Wow, this actually looks pretty good with the lighting in here!" because I had really forgotten about it and was legitimately surprised that I - apparently - used to be good at art.

During this time, I had still been feeling that numbness and sickness, but it didn't prevent me from talking to the man. I told him that it's funny that I ran into him to have this conversation so early (he was going to ask me about that painting thing anyway), and then explained why I was there - the turned-around, felt sick thing. I tried to explain to him all my strange symptoms. I had never felt that numbness before but I knew it wasn't anything good. He said that maybe I could go with the emergency service-people when they arrived, along with the other girl.

They arrived right after that, and I walked outside onto the sidewalk in front of the school (streetlights were on, it was dark out) to wave at the people coming into the school and motion that I needed help as well. At this point, I couldn't speak, I was feeling too bad. Someone saw me, as I thought they would, and brought me onto the vehicle with them (for some reason it was a school bus). I sat there, numbly, and watched two of the young workers talk to each other. It was sort of like I was observing them in their social state, thinking that it was kind of annoying how the one girl was happily gabbing away about social things while we were there waiting on the bus, but then not blaming her because why shouldn't she do that?. I watched her decently pretty, happy face, then looked outside and watched another overweight girl with no makeup on stand there doing nothing as she was supposed to, with a blank facial expression that wasn't happy. I noted how she was sort of depressing to look at. This watching&observing of people was the most realistic part of my dream. I also looked out the window at another emergency vehicle and saw a baby who they said something about - she was either sick or had a deficiency of some sort - and although she was bald with an unusual-shaped head and a tiny body and big eyes, she didn't look like she was in any pain. She was shrieking, and her O-shaped open mouth took up an unusually large portion of her face. The shrieking may or may not have existed intermittently with laughter, but I knew it was a happy shriek, and no workers reacted to the sight of her. I tried to watch her and react by being happy and feeling love and care for the child, despite her appearance and shrieking that naturally made me feel scared and uncomfortable.

The dream ended with me feeling completely numb, watching that girl shrieking. (I didn't watch her for a long or unnatural amount of time, maybe 5-10 seconds - the dream just ended there.)

CRAZIEST part: I woke up mentally knowing where I thought my two arms were. My left one on my left side, and my right one crossed over my body (maybe that was my position in the dream? I have no idea). When I turned my head to the right, though, I saw my right arm stretched to the right. It was really confusing, I did a double-take/feel and that is certainly how I felt. I guess my entire arm has never been 100% numb before, because that was a feeling like no other. I felt like I had no arm, and that that body part sticking out from me was not a natural part of my body at all. It was strange that somehow it felt like my arm was really in a different place, as if it were trapped inside my body. I don't know how nerves work, though.
Anyway, I sat up and made it move in front of me (my head had previously been resting on it). I was a little worried I'd hurt it since I could not feel my elbow at all or any other part of my arm, and I watched it bend and flop forward unnaturally. It was so weird. And I found it so strange that becoming numb was a main part of my dream.