vignettes from a different world

i am lying on the couch in the living room of the old townhouse. it is night and the room is lit by lamps. i feel very ill and feverish. my mother is here. she tells me to get up and go to school. i reply that i can't, i have meningitis and i should be in the hospital. she screams at me and we have a long argument. i am intensely angry. later i wonder if i am going to die and think about what my boyfriend would do if i did. (i was violently ill before i fell asleep which probably accounts for the focus on illness here).

in the next scene i am walking to my high school. it is snowy and i am with my father. i find an iphone sticking out of a snowbank. i ask my father if it's ok to take it. he says yes, so i do. then i am inside the library at my elementary school with some other people. we are watching a movie on a projector screen. at one point there is some starbucks product placement in the movie and starbucks gift cards pop out of the screen and onto the floor. the other people and i scramble to grab them up. they keep coming, along with some lollipops and -- hydrocodone pills... i grab several pills and remark to C.W. that i'm surprised it was legal for the filmmakers to do this.

then i am working at a daycare for disabled children. i am standing on a large circular mezzanine in a domed wooden building with a rustic/old-fashioned atmosphere. there is a matronly black woman here. later i am taking a bath while covered by a white canopy to research therapies for autism?

finally i am outside, on a beautiful rocky coastline. i am listening to a lecture about canadian geography from a disembodied voice. i sprinkle green powder onto a moss-covered slope which i recognize to be british columbia. the voice is now talking about aboriginal tribes: "our friends, the mogwai, are dead..." finally the subject of the lecture changes to buddhism. i don't recall what the voice said.

the general atmosphere of these dreams is unpleasant.

i had earned some "points" on a website which could be redeemed for real life goods. i went to a department store and found a pair of Yelle-themed footie pyjamas that i wanted (why?!?)

later i was at an outdoor pavilion with my boyfriend. the pavilion was apparently a kfc restaurant. we wanted to order sweet and sour chicken but then the guy showed us how they made the sweet and sour sauce: they mixed together ketchup and ranch dressing. we felt sick and ordered something else.

i was directing a music video with my mind. i do not remember what the music actually sounded like but i recall thinking it was like the doors. the vocals and lyrics were very prominent. the music was vivid and complex as it always is in my dreams. the lyrics were about some kind of drug hallucination or delirium.

the music video was set in a darkened suburban area, on someone's lawn. the colour scheme was mainly dark blue and black. the lead singer was dancing around erratically while i caused strange imagery to manifest. there were many of these strange images but i only recall a few. at one point there were cloth-like, lumpy growths swirling around the branches of a tree, disappearing and reappearing. later, there were unfamiliar people standing in rows and i caused their faces to distort. after doing this for a while the dream scene unexpectedly went black and an image of a humanoid figure with a bright red, glowing circle for a head and an ill-defined glowing yellow body appeared. i felt a jolt of intense fear unlike anything i have experienced in waking life. i screamed loudly in the dream but my screams sounded muted and distorted. i wondered if i was screaming in real life. soon afterwards i woke up. (i wasn't).

very mundane dreams

i am outside the mall with my boyfriend. the sky is overcast. later we are inside the mall, in a banana republic store. i want to buy some clothes for him but they are too expensive.

later i am tattooing a tall, thin japanese man with long hair. now that i think about it he kind of seems like a young version of merzbow? i am using a strange looking pen to tattoo him. i tattoo a strange grid pattern on his chest and some other small designs on his arms and torso. i keep asking him if he really wants this, if he thinks it looks ok, etc. his answers are generally affirmative. he is very hard to understand -- sounds more like someone with a severe speech impediment than a guy with an accent.

then the sprinklers in the "tattoo shop" go off. there is water everywhere. i leave.

outside the shop there are various fast food kiosks. one of them has a rack of 'sushi burritos' on the counter. i grab one and walk off without paying. it tastes quite savoury and delicious. someone behind me calls me a "fast food slut". i turn around and it is a guy and girl that i recognize to be my friend. we talk about various inconsequential things.

i am in a house with M., S. and A. the house is located in a clearing in a coniferous forest. the scene is generally dark. the house has wood floors and a warm colour scheme.

then my friends and i are in my elementary school gymnasium. we are playing a game in which the goal is to guess what the other person is thinking of. the theme in this round is fetishes. i come up with an idea which turns into an entire dream scene:
this scene is in the style of a documentary and it is presented by a man whose appearance and mannerisms recall louis theroux. several muscular men wearing leather bdsm outfits sre gathered together in a field. on the edge of the field stand rows of huge metal bows (about twice the height of a person) which are anchored to the ground. "louis" interviews one of the men who tells him that this is a fetish. participants obtain satisfaction by being fired from the bow as if they were an arrow. louis chooses to undergo this process. an arrowhead attached to a short length of shaft is glued onto his forehead and he is placed into some kind of leather bondage contraption which keeps his legs together and his arms at his sides. the man pulls the bow back, releases it and louis flies straight through the air.
afterwards we are in a classroom with the lights off. some blue-white light filters through the window. we are discussing sexuality with a teacher figure who is male and in his mid-20s.

the scene returns to my elementary gymnasium but now there is a war going on. the tile floor has become bumpy and ragged, unevenly painted with blue, yellow and green stripes. i am talking to a tall, thin man in a suit who has unruly black hair about the war. i understand this man is jean-paul sartre. sartre complains that another writer's books are racist and colonialist and tosses them onto the ground.

next i am inside some kind of professional building with wooden doors and blue glass walls. a man is advertising his book on quantum physics. the cover photo of the book is a ripple in multicoloured liquid. i open the book. there is a grid on one page and each cell contains a line drawing of a person. on the opposite page the author derides all of these people, complaining that the men are "assholes" and the women are "sluts". on another page, there is a large circle labeled "A" to the left of a small circle labeled "B". the book describes how the larger circle represents the immediate effects of a quantum process while the smaller circle represents the other effects. the example he uses to elucidate this theory is that if you consumed lead atoms, you would experience mild symptoms immediately, while the rest of your family would become severely ill and mentally retarded but this would occur over a long course of time. (that's dream logic for you). when these two circles intersect, they supposedly create a ripple pattern.

finally I am wandering through the hallways of my elementary school. they actually look more like the hallways on the 3rd floor of the hospital but in the dream i believe it is school. the walls, floor and ceiling are flat white. the hallways are very narrow and take strange zig-zag courses, which is disorienting. someone tells me that there is a fire in the school. i am not concerned until i see brushed metal cylindrical objects careening through the hallways and spraying water, ostensibly to fight the fire. these 'robots' frighten me slightly.

lovely, lovely dreams tonight. nothing particularly unpleasant has been going on in waking life as of late, but these dreams showed up anyhow. slept from about 9 to about 6.

i have spoilered the more graphic parts of the molestation dream for those of you who might be disturbed by it.

in the first dream i am driving around my city at twilight. i remember the exact area where i was -- near the intersection of R-----d & R----n.

Spoiler for click to read:

suddenly i feel invisible hands touching me. it is as if i am sitting on someone's lap but there is nobody there. i am greatly disconcerted. suddenly i am in the passenger seat and a teenaged asian boy is driving, while still touching me occasionally. he pulls into my school's parking lot (it is night now). there are 3 other boys waiting for us as well as an old man. i am nervous. the asian boy introduces me to the old man and tells me that he was the one who was touching me. a girl adds that he is 63 years old and a banker, and gives me his full name. she urges me to tell the police.

later i am in a room with blue walls. there are my little pony posters and merchandise everywhere. i am talking to a woman in her 30s about my experience. i want to tell her the man's name, but i cannot remember it. i get frustrated at this and also about the fact that i am discussing my sexual abuse in a my little pony fanclub.

in the second dream i am in an unfamiliar house. i am sitting on the couch and i am shocked to discover that my ex is sitting right beside me. for a moment i consider that this could be a dream, but the vivid and detailed imagery convinces me otherwise. i get extremely angry. i start yelling at him, asking "how did you get here?" "why are you here?" i don't get a straight answer. i begin punching and slapping him. he barely fights back.
i go do something else for a while and i come back to find my ex sitting on a bed crying. i thought he had left and now i get even angrier. i scream at him and throw heavy objects at him. i tell him that i'm going to bed, and if he isn't gone by the time i wake up "something bad will happen".
i go into my bedroom for a while and then come back. my ex is still there, playing a SNES game on a blue tv. again, i physically attack him and threaten that bad things will happen. i'm furious. the tv says "error, zero zero, error" and then i wake up.

slept 11:30 - 9:00, awakening and falling back asleep several times between 7 and 9

i am in a large, dark house with some caribbean women who appear to be in their 50s-60s. they are acting strangely. someone tells me that in their culture, it is considered polite not to acknowledge strangers. later i am cutting myself in the bathroom (similar to townhouse bathroom) and the blood is getting everywhere. later still, the women and i are in a room with a young red-haired child. he keeps changing in size, from the size of an average 4 year old to the size of a mouse. he crawls around on the floor. the women are thinking of adopting him.

then i am in a "hospital", which is similar to the house in colour scheme. there is a lot of wood. i am a nurse here and i am watching over a middle aged man. his hospital room is a huge cylindrical tank with transparent walls. he is sitting in the far end of the tank, attached to many machines. he is wearing a sports jersey. i leave the room and report to the doctor, a tall young woman, that he is doing ok. she decides to initiate a different treatment. the tank is filled with water and numerous small, pink, swimming creatures. i go into the tank to explain the treatment to the man, but the creatures keep swimming into my mouth and it feels very uncomfortable. i leave. the doctor tells me to prepare a powerpoint on cellular respiration and photosynthesis.

in a fragment i can't place, i am at some kind of religious ceremony. the "church" seems to be underground and has a domed ceiling with pillars that fan out at the capitals; everything is hewn of grey-beige stone. somewhat gothic architecture?

in a different dream, i am playing with dogs in a park. it is hilly, with yellow-brown grass: beside the chainlink fence is a stone chasm and then a road. a beige concrete overpass stands further away, over the road, and in the distance, a cityscape can be seen. the sky is bright blue and clear. occasionally i see a massive red balloon rising over the city. it is very beautiful.

my final dream begins as a video game but the perspective changes. it is night in a cartoonish landscape; the land is pine green, the sky dark blue and full of stars. there is a little boy here whose pupils are shaped like crosses. he sees an area where the land slopes down, inwardly-curving, to a beach; but the slope has been separated from the level land, creating a vertical cliff. he realizes that he must push the cliff and the slope back together to save the other children. there is a segment of this dream which engenders a strong bittersweet feeling inside me, and repeats several times: the boy floats up into the sky among the stars, holding on to a red balloon.

did not sleep at all previous night. napped from about 4:30 - 6 pm, took 30mg temazepam + 100mg trazodone and slept from 10pm-6:30 am; still tired upon waking.

i am on a bus with soldiers who are returning from war. they are meeting their newborn children for the first time. the babies all have square sections of their skull cut out to reveal coagulated blood and unidentifiable tissue underneath. there are black tubes coming out of the centre of these sections. in the dream, this is not disturbing to me. i just assume the babies have recently had surgery.

later i am in a large basement, which is unlike any basement i have been in in real life but which has featured in my dreams before. there is a tall french man talking (in french) about farts.

the imagery in these dreams was not as vivid as my dream imagery typically is. sometimes my vision would fade or objects would turn black.

slept from about 9pm - 6:30 am, longer than usual

i have created a picture of a landscape. it is idyllic: soft rolling hills and cliffs covered in green grass and criscrossed by wide blue rivers. the sky is black. i decide to post it on my tumblr. someone on tumblr whom i admire is with me and she encourages me to submit it to a popular art tumblr (god, this dream is embarassing). the picture i have made merges with other similar pictures to form a vast landscape. suddenly i enter into the landscape. it's very beautiful. the green land slopes down to an open sea, with cliffs and high hills far behind and many small rivers and lakes. the area is populated with thousands of teenagers. one of them comes up to me and informs me that this is "teen world". the teens are now deciding on how to govern their country. a guy goes around asking different teens their opinion. they all give noncommittal answers: "uh, can't we just do regular stuff? lets just chill."

then i am in the townhouse kitchen. i open the fridge and there are many different types of popsicles: cyclones, chocolate ones, and creamsicles. i decide to eat a chocolate popsicle even though they are my least favourite popsicle in real life. it tastes delicious.

1am-6am

this dream takes place in the apartment. i have just bought a new pair of jeans. buying these jeans enters you into a contest: the contest details are written on a pink leather square on the back of the jeans. i show the jeans to my mother and she becomes incredibly angry, screaming at me that the jeans are awful and i am stupid for wasting my money on them. i try to reason with her but she continues to furiously berate me.

i later had a lucid dream in which i was able to exert control over the environment -- although i have lucid dreams quite regularly they are typically very short & i am not able to control anything... this dream was different. sadly, i don't recall it too well.
i was inside of a house. something about the environment tipped me off that it could be a dream, so i performed a reality check. it was successful, so i ran outside of the house (rubbing my hands to stabilize the dream -- i remember i looked at my hands once and they looked normal, which i've never experienced dream before) into an autumnal forest area with many elaborate fountains scattered around. the fountains were all turned off but i was able to will them to begin flowing. i felt an invigorating rush of power. this is the first time i've been able to change the environment in a LD and makes me optimistic for my dream control in the future.

7am-9:30 am

i am in an unfamiliar house with three teenage boys and an older woman. at one point i ask the woman what the boys think of me. she tells me i disgust them with my insecurity. i have a breakdown and begin crying. i think i might have to go to the mental hospital.

later i dream that i am playing sims 3. there is a new item, a box that your sim can crawl into. when you click on it there is an option to "enter the dread cave". i choose this option: my sim enters and does not come back. the scene then switches from observing a video game to being inside of a real life scene. the box has turned into a kennel and there is a small black dog here. i put the dog into the kennel but it escapes somehow. i talk with someone about this and we somehow make the dog want to be locked in the kennel.

i am with two imaginary friends. the dream begins in the park across the street from my school; it is winter and thick snow covers the ground. we are going to go to finland so one of my friends can get a scholarship for music. we have to walk lightly so the police won't be able to track our footprints.

we reach finland in a couple of minutes and enter into a large building with beige stone walls, great windows, and domed ceilings: the university. my one friend goes into the music room, leaving us free to explore other areas. i go into another room and find a shelf that contains papers on the history of finland & what i believe to be the earliest documents written in finnish. next i enter another room whose walls are covered in racks of clothing. i understand that these clothes are being given away for free, so i take some, although it is difficult to find clothes in my size.

later, outside the university, i meet my boyfriend. he jacks off and ejaculates on my thigh. there are no emotions or sexual sensations associated with this.

then i am working at a "record store" - a large, disorganized shop that seems to sell everything except records. nicki minaj comes in and asks for some vodka. i cannot serve her because i don't have a license: i feel awkward and incompetent. however a man who works at the store ends up serving her for me.

finally my two friends and i decide to visit thailand. thailand, evidently, is a large country home owned by an old lady. we are hungry, but the food here is strange. after several unappetizing choices the lady offers me a dish of fruit pieces and flowers in clear jelly, which i gladly consume: it has a delicate, sweet and light taste.

i enter into a bedroom in the house. it has blue walls and the layout is similar to my bedroom in real life. there is a sunflower on a yellow vase in my dresser. i have several vials of chemicals. i want to use a chemical that causes genetic mutations on the sunflower so that i can grow different varieties. i have to be very careful while handling this chemical because if it makes contact with my skin i will get cancer. i empty the vial into the sunflower pot but then i look at the label and realize i have just poured a great amount of acetic acid into the soil. i do not want to kill the plant so i use a vial of ammonium chloride to 'neutralize' the acid (dream self is not good at chemistry). however i quickly realize that this reaction produces chlorine gas (again... terrible chemistry...). i freak out. i get short of breath, light-headed and my vision begins to fade.

i wake up.

in the first dream i am logging back into the neopets account i had when i was like, 8.

in the second dream i am taking a bath, but the bathroom and the adjacent hallway soon fill with several inches of water. on the floor of the hallway is writing in finnish.

extremely fitful, disordered sleep. probably withdrawal from desvenfalaxine 100mg + other health issues. surreal and vivid imagery tonight. fell asleep for 1st time around 11pm, woke up every hour or so until ~3am, woke up at 7ish and fell back into fitful sleep until mid-afternoon

around 11-12pm
i am upstairs in a version of my house. i realize that my house looks different and suspect i am dreaming, so i do a reality check (breathing through plugged nose). it succeeds and i become lucid. i run outside (it is sunny and beautiful) and begin rubbing my hands together to stabilize the dream. unfortunately, it fades quickly and i wake up.


i had other dreams during the night but i do not remember them.

6-7 am
the entirety of this dream takes place downtown. the atmosphere is somewhat bleak - it's grey and snowy - but the sun is out.

first i am having a debate with Richard Dawkins and a Christian theologist in a parking lot. the debate is on the subject of marxism. many people are watching from the main part of downtown, which is several miles away; the geometry in this scene doesn't make very much sense. dawkins keeps attaching balloons to himself and floating miles into the air, carrying his debate on from the sky. at times it becomes night; the sky turns deep blue and stars come out. i complain to a friend that i can't hear dawkins from up there and she chastises me, saying i should pay more attention.

next there is a new attraction downtown: a massive tower which houses a gigantic transparent tube. you enter the tube and it shoots you up to the top of the tower, then back down. my boyfriend decides to try it. a team of middle-aged women in black uniforms pack him into the tube and i watch as he jets into the air then falls down at an astonishing speed. afterwards he mentions something about "astronaut MILFs".

then i sit down at an outdoor table where a group of unfamiliar people are eating. they arent bothered by my presence, surprisingly. i pick up a menu: some of it is in english, some of it in the Cyrillic alphabet. i decide that the cyrillic language is lithuanian (does lithuanian use cyrillic? i don't know... anyway...) i have no money to order food but the people let me eat some of their food. it tastes delicious: savoury and sweet. the dishes were primarily meat-based. at one point the restaurant owner comes over and asks me if i have any questions. i cannot reply because my mouth is full of food, but i point to an item on the Cyrillic menu for which no price is listed. she explains that this is an entire roast pig and due to the quality of the meat and the preparation time it costs around 900 dollars. she gives me a meatball from it as a sample. it tastes nice. there is a tripadvisor rating in the window of the restaurant: 5.0/10.

later i am walking through downtown with my red-haired imaginary friend from a previous dream. i complain that i am sick. she tells me i probably have problems with my liver and i disagree with some recondite explanation involving the amount of water in my body. as i discuss water the windows of an adjacent skyscraper seem to turn to segmented/striated bodies of water.

finally i am walking behind two men and overhearing their conversation. they are talking about a man who was found murdered in a dilapidated house. an old woman found him, rebuilt the house and made it amazingly beautiful, but she had left his corpse in its original position. these men had been hired to clean corpse secretions off of the furniture so the house could be sold.


9-10 am
i am in a large, disorganized country house in which the dominant hue is deep yellow. several teenage boys live here. at some point i begin writing a short story about living in this place. as i write the story, by narrating it in my head, the scenes play out in my vision.

the opening scene is rendered in Poser-style primitive CGI. a generic model of a man -- hairless, no identifiable facial features, no genitalia -- jerks around erratically within a cubic matrix formed by grey rods which connect red, yellow and blue spheres to each other (think of a 3d molecular model). the background is blank white. there is a soundtrack of erratic, metallic electronic music, something like aphex twin, but more aggressive.

the next scene takes place within the country home and involves the boys. i cannot remember specific events, besides one where a boy accidentally burned my arm with a cigarette and i punched him in the face, but i recall that this scene was very long and involved a great deal of violence + homoeroticism.

the final scene is staged in a massive, darkened room. there are two glowing crystals here, one green and one blue; i understand that these represent Zeus and Hera. one of the boys is here too, floating naked in midair and dwarfed by the dimensions of the room. the crystal discuss various things. at one point a thunderbolt strikes. there is no definitive conclusion to this scene.

the story replays over and over in my head, at least 5 times, in the perseverative manner of some fever dreams. i am very proud of the story i have written -- to me it seems to address lofty, complex themes and it takes me on an emotional journey; i recall being impressed by the complex syntax and clever wordplay of my writing. my story, i believe, transgresses and deconstructs the entire institution of contemporary western literature...

in another dream i am at a swimming contest of some sort. i need id to enter the changing rooms and i do not have id. i try to sneak in through the back door, and i succeed, but i become lost in the maze of changing rooms: there are dozens of different rooms, separated by ages as well as by gender. i eventually find the correct one. i get changed, go into the pool and begin the contest which apparently involves me tackling people while demanding they tell me what subgenre a random metal band belongs to.

the winners of the contest are me & my friend M.M. the prizes are books -- a compilation of Hesse's Siddhartha & Steppenwolf and some imaginary tome of Faulkner's. (my subconscious loves namedropping, apparently.) M. chooses the Hesse book and I am a bit disappointed because I had wanted it (in real life i would have preferred faulkner!). i look inside the Faulkner book and there is a picture of a beautiful blue-walled estate with exquisite Gothic architecture, which takes up the majority of a small island. i am awed at its beauty. this is Faulkner's home, I understand; the island has some absurdly long and comically French name.

fell asleep around 12, woke up around 3, went back to bed, finally woke up around 7

12am - 3am
a long and complicated dream about a tall girl with red hair. in the dream we were good friends. there was a very jovial atmosphere, unlike most of my dreams.

then a dream where i discussed lucid dreaming at length -- without actually becoming lucid.

3am-7am

i am at a strange clothes store with my boyfriend. the store mainly sells lolita dresses but contains a large variety of different clothing items as well as miscellaneous objects. at the far end of the room there is a passage to a second room which is brightly lit with many large windows. the store owners, a middle-aged asian woman and her teenage daughter, work here, making all the clothes from scratch. we talk to the two women for a while. there are many items of clothing hanging on racks here and i discover a finely crafted leather jacket with luxurious fur trim; i ask the younger woman how much it would cost and she tells me "about a month's salary". we leave this room and return to the main part of the store. there is a dress i would like to buy here, but it is too expensive. instead, my boyfriend and i decide to buy two dvds. these "dvds" come in vhs cases with elaborate box art; the one my boyfriend buys has art that's a slightly altered version of the dark side of the moon cover, and mine is a complex pattern of organic plantlike shapes. we understand that these movies are beautiful works of art and that watching them will change our lives. we trade the shop owners a large pyramidal prism for the dvds.

then i leave the store and enter into a shady urban area at night. i am now running away from three young white men who want to mug me. i see my dad's car parked on the side of the street: i get in and we drive away.

very interesting dream phenomena tonight. slept from about 12 pm to 9:30 am and had normal dreams, was awake for about half an hour, and fell back asleep from 10 - 11 am which is when the interesting stuff started...

midnight - 9:30 am

i was looking at clothes in a large department store. i wanted to buy a dress. the dresses i wanted (one black dress and one light blue dress with dark turquoise polka dots) were in the children's section, but i figured i could fit into them anyway since i'm petite.

the next dream began in my grade 9 drama classroom. i was talking to an attractive girl with long black hair and pale skin. i believe her name was nadia and i understood that she was russian. i felt intense feelings of love and tenderness for her. there was a bed in the classroom, and we wanted to sleep together, but we were afraid other people would see and judge us. at some point the classroom morphed into a bedroom. i remember nothing else.

10-11 am

hypnagogia

after a short period of wakefulness i lay back down in bed and shifted into a half-aware state. i was still environmentally oriented - i opened my eyes a few times to see my bedroom as it normally is - but i was experiencing the involuntary associative thought that accompanies the hypnagogic state. generally i enter directly into sleep shortly after experiencing this "hypnagogic thought" but in this case it was not so. i began to have what i now realize were auditory hallucinations. at first i believed i was listening to a podcast on my laptop, which i often do before falling asleep. the audio was very distinct and i could identify the different people's voices although i was not able to make out the content of their speech (it was a little quiet.) then music began to play: specifically, the songs neutral milk hotel - oh comely and the gerbils - glue. i remember being puzzled about how these songs were playing without me interacting w/ the laptop but i believed they were not hallucinations because the audio was so clear and the songs were so perfectly reproduced -- and after all, i was not dreaming!

i am able to tell that this was a hypnagogic state and not a dream of being in bed because at one point my roommate knocked on my door to tell me that she was leaving for school -- this occured at the appropriate time (around quarter after ten) & i responded appropriately. during the time that the hallucinatory music was playing i decided i should try to get to sleep and so i used some basic relaxation techniques (relaxing the body from the toes to the head).

dreams

the relaxation technique fades into a dream wherein i am sliding down the stairs to the basement of the old townhouse. i repeat this a few times. i am aware that this is a dream and i believe that sliding down the stairs will metaphorically allow me to 'slide' deeper into the dream state as well as 'lower' me into a state of sexual disinhibition. it seems to do both.

i enter into a dream where... well, in the interests of full disclosure, i am an underage (~12-13 y/o) girl partaking in various sex acts with a nondescript college-age boy. the perspective is quite interesting here: i am watching the dream unfold in third person, but i am experiencing the sensations that my dream-self would experience in the depicted situation. i am able to control the dream by willing certain situations to happen.

my dream-self has red hair with bangs and pigtails and green eyes. her outfit changes many times over the course of the dream. the male character has short black hair and glasses; he is tall and thin. the dream varies between realism and an anime-esque style (i very rarely dream in a non-realistic style; i can probably count the number of such dreams i've had on one hand.)

this dream is divided into multiple different scenes. each scene begins with me meeting the boy in his college classroom (large and crowded, with metal walls; he sat near the door) at the end of class. we have to be discreet, as i am underage. after we leave the classroom, the sexual activities ensue. a full description of everything that transpired in this dream would be frankly pornographic, and i have no need to write it all down here as i'll be able to remember it without epistolary assistance. what's important about these scenes is that the sexual sensations i experienced in the dream are far, far more intense than anything i have ever experienced in waking life. i attribute this to a release phenomenon engendered by the downregulation of activity in certain brain structures during REM sleep which causes disinhibition and consequent overexcitation in various other areas; there could also be a psychological component to it. nonetheless it never fails to amaze me when i experience it.

after many "scenes" the sexual dream ends, along with the lucidity. i find myself in a washroom stall, and there is a copy of a manga that contains illustrations of the previous dream on the floor. i am afraid that other people using the washroom will see it on the floor and think i am perverted. i try to find somewhere to hide it but i cannot. later i am wandering through a dark maze of strangely-proportioned washroom stalls, trying to find a normal one: i understand that they are all weirdly shaped because i am in germany.

at some point i find myself atop a large warp pipe from the mario series. i am in the middle of a great sea and i can see a small island close to me. the colours here are somewhat muted/desaturated but still quite pleasing to the eye. i go to the island, which is very small and covered in yellow-brown dead grass; there is a quaint stone hut with a thatched roof here, where there lives a young woman with long blonde hair and a weathered but beautiful face. she wears a simple cotton gown. i gather blackberries and other fruits with her in front of the hut; i understand from the local flora that i am in scandinavia. i also understand that i am inside of the video game animal crossing.

my perspective later becomes detached -- moreso playing a video game than being inside of it. it gets dark and the sea becomes stormy. i understand that the woman is the "lifeguard" of the sea and i decide to drown her as an ironic joke. i pick her up through the game's interface and drop her in the sea, but she will not drown. i do not remember anything else.

----

a lot to analyze here, but i'm far too lazy. it was a pleasant experience nonetheless.