false awakening

I was hiking in the woods when I came across a monster. It wasn't a scary monster. It was a butt monster and it's goal was to have the best butt in the world.

I'm home and my sister is expertly growing plants. She's growing them from seed, propogating them, and doing things with plants that I've never done, and I'm a plant guy. When she's telling me this, I'm laying on the floor and I'm so tired that I want to go to sleep. I tell her I had just been watching tv and that is why I'm tired. It's mid afternoon but I felt like I had just woken up. I had been watching a talk show and I feel like Frank Ocean was on it.

There is a scene somewhere in here with some young overweight black girls. One of the girls ordered underwear on the internet and was just about to open the package. Suddenly, the other girl had the underwear in her hands and she was walking away with them, proud of herself for having such a great pair of underwear. It is revealed that there will be a nice butt competition and these underwear will help her. Suddenly, they are stolen yet again by a strange, un-talking, black guy. He's creepy looking and has on black and white stripes like a prisoner of old. The girl is frustrated but she doesn't try to get them back because she thinks it would be impossible.

Later I am back by the same woods. I'm in a clearing in a house on a porch and the forest line is in the short distance. Some girls want to go into the woods where apparently, the best butt competition is to occur. They are stopped somehow by a women who is using some kind of force. I see my mother's cousin walk out of the woods. This is a women who is in her 60s but who is obsessed with her looks. She looks more scary than beautiful though with overdone make-up, push up bras, tight pants, and butt padding. She's at the edge of the woods and she's bending over doing some gardening work I think. She stays bent for a while. I suddenly realize that she is the butt monster . I tell my sister. Her motivation is to scare other people away from the woods so that she will win the prize of best butt.

The house i'm in turns out to be the home of my grandparents. My mom asks me if I'm going to some event that they are all going to. I say no, because I don't want to have to kiss everybody who she is going with, including, that cousin of hers who I know is the butt monster. Not that she's scary, even though she is a monster. It's because she's so strange looking. I see everyone arrive. It's my grandmother, her sister, her husband's brothers' sister, my two aunts, the butt monster and bringing up the rear, my grandfather. All women except for one guy. I'm surprised to see my grandfather because in real life he's in the hospital and is in bad shape. He looks healthy in the dream which excites me.

At this point I have, what I believe was a false awakening. I feel I'm awake and I want to write in my dream journal. I start writing it, more or less as I have above, though different. I get hung up on some details like the acreage of the woods or what sound volume to have your laptop on. Soon, the laptop closes and there is darkness and I feel like I'm losing recollection. Then I really wake up.