Josephlittle

July 1st, 2:51

Yesterday I have dreamed about a cloud. A cloud that was black and thick, and looked like it was about to explode with water. I heard rain, yet I did not see any water from that cloud. The whole sky was clear, except for that just black cloud. I could sense I was in a house I was before, but not sure which one. I could hear the roof getting wet, but still no rain. This dream made me very depressed, so depressed I almost cried. I woke up at day feeling like shit, like there is nothing to do to save me from my misery. It was dark also, I remember that, but it was just a fragment. Nothing else I can remember.

June 30th, 9:17 PM

I don't know why I decided to write an entry now, because I really thought it wasn't necessary.

So I am not sure if I had a dream yesterday, or just my imagination after I woke up. Not sure which one.

The dream is where I am playing computer. Not sure which one, because my point of view was only the screen (kind of like when you record a stream)
I was playing Team Fortress 2, a famous game which is now for free on Steam. I was playing as an engineer, a guy who builds sentry guns to defend positions. I don't know why I had this, but all I remember was:

There was no sound. Even gunshots were mute.
There was another engineer in the game, and he sucked.
My sentry guns kept getting destroyed for no reason, and I kept rebuilding them hoping they would last.
There was a moment where a Sniper had a clear shot on me, and I kept running. He always looked like he could have just pulled the trigger and killed me, yet he never shot once. He eventually gave up and ran away, in fear that I would have eventually killed him.

Now, my thoughts about this are as following:

No sound: Maybe because too much was happening, it did not need sound? Or it can be another metaphor, not sure what it can mean though
Another engineer: Maybe someone playing the same "role" as me, yet not being successful while doing so. Could mean many things to me, varying from family to strangers
Sentry guns kept getting destroyed: Might mean that I kept trying to build something of my own, to have a foundation, yet it just kept falling apart, something stopping me from doing so
Sniper not shooting: Might mean someone giving me another chance, yet proving to me that they could have easily killed me.


Not bad for just fragment (or probably just me imagining TF2) but it can mean a lot. Hope I get a fragment today, I do not expect to have a lucid today.

June 30th, 5:43 PM

So, I tried having a lucid again. I knew I would not be successful, as I can tell this takes a lot of hard work. But now after spending some time in the Newbie Zone, I learned HOW to make an entry to my dream journal (not this one, the one where I actually write stuff on paper)

Instead of: nothing Happened, I can say: I do not remember my dream today, but I feel awfully tired.

I need to say how I am feeling after, what I can remember or what the main subject was about (if I cant remember anything else). Even "cats" will do, according to the newbie zone helpers.

Anyways, Im probably going to bed not expecting to have a lucid, yet expecting to have a dream that I can still feel when I wake up. As some say, failure is better than no result at all.

June 29, 9:44 PM

I have read many articles now about Lucid Dreaming, and I believe that will help me to have a lucid. I have many doubts on what I would do if i had a lucid, yet I must not give in to those doubts. I learned that you must stabilize your dream and do a reality check whenever you are in a new dream. I will try to appeal to all my senses before going around and see what I can do. I am very excited about this, because I have never had a lucid where I could remember my senses and how it felt when I woke up. I will make sure to write everything down after my dream, specially details and sensory details.

I hope I can have a lucid in less than 2 weeks, seeing I am excited as I could be. I will try many methods, but my first one will be DILD.

Wish me luck

Joseph

June 29, 2:28 PM

So I have tried to LD yesterday, with no luck. I have been going over what I did wrong, and I think I know what it is. First, I fapped twice that day (lmao). I also did not sleep in my regular schedule, instead of sleeping by 4 AM I slept at 1 AM, possibly making me not as tired. I was also confused whether to doe a MILD or a WILD, and I kind of went with both. I am still experimenting with both, and if I do not have a lucid dream in a month, I will confirm that I am not a person of dreams.

I had a mild dream, but not lucid. I was in a poll, kinda like in TV shows. I had a number 4 on my screen thing, and I was very sad. That is all I remember

Maybe I need to do more reality checks, or dream more relaxed/without fapping.

It is only day 1, but I am more excited than ever to make this work. I will keep trying and learn from my failures.

Peace

June 29, 1:07 AM

I have tried relaxing with the dreamviews suggestions on how to lucid dream. It took me a while to enter a serious state. It felt amazing to block out everything around you, sound, light, even thoughts that humans have every day. I am so amazed by how complex, and I believe we will never be able to get the full potential of it.

I bet that by tomorrow I am going to forget a lot of this, and I will just say " screw this ". I really hope that does not happen, and will do everything in my willpower to stop that. I want to dream, to understand, to remember.

Also, I have been thinking about total control of the brain, where your free will determines on what your brain does. I believe that is IMPOSSIBLE, is like a gun trying to shoot itself.

Anyways, Im off to read some more, play a video game to block out some stuff that happened today, read fiction, then just try to set up a habit for future lucid dreaming days. Also, no fapping (lol)

Dream Journal, June 29, 12:36 AM

So, I was talking to one of my friends about Lucid Dreaming. He says he yearns for lucid dreaming almost every night, and he had 4 lucid dreams in a month. I want to believe everything dreamviews say. I want to lucid dream, the fact to do whatever you want with no restrictions, to see how your brain works in the most awkward positions and times. I want to understand my dreams, remember them and possibly share them with everyone around me. I have read up about Lucid dreaming, and have begun doing reality checks very often. I have downloaded music to see if I will be able to at least relax. I am not planning on having a lucid dreaming today, I am planning to set up a habit to make it easier on me, to remember the most exciting dreams. I have faith, and I really wish I have mind control and sleeping habits. As this is my first entry, and not a dream entry, I want to set up a road for me. Consider this an experiment on myself, and I will post all my results here. I hope to update this every night, if my brain allows me to remember this kind of information. Since I usually wake up often in the night (for no reason) I decided to try WBTB, and see what happens. I also want to have a mixture of MILD's and WILD's and see which one works best. I believe the MILD will be easier for me, but I must remember to not move, as it is essential for my brain to recognize my muscles as idle muscles.

So anyway guys, this is just my first entry, my reality checks are the breathing when your nose and mouth are closed, and when I try to use a hand to go through my other hand. if any of you are reading this, please let me know any tips or tutorials on what I should do to enhance my dreams

Also, the main reason I am doing this is to have no limits, no awkwardness with the actions I do, and just be able to be me. I also want to try Lucid Sex (sorry if this sounds so perverted, but I must try it), but I believe it will be very hard to achieve such state of Lucid Sex.

I am out, I am going to spend another hour reading up on some more of this, then I will probably go do something that relaxes my brain (read, but I hope no electronics)

Regards,
Joseph (Andy)