Jvail

I finally have some time to transcribe entries from my handwritten journal. This contains my recalls and notes from the tutorials. The written journal is more convenient for me, now I can post and share this stuff. These entries go back to the middle of January.

1/16/11-I'm talking to Brian Moore, an employee at work who recently died of cancer. I offer encouraging words as if he were just getting over a first part of his serious illness...I'm playing piano or some sort of keyed instrument.

I was drinking before bed, so I'm surprised I was dreaming or recalling anything at all.

1/16/11-Dreaming during a nap, which rarely happens. This was a "Clydesmare", a recurring theme where I;m back working a at Clyde's. This is s a restaurant I used to work at (I left there in 2002). The place is busy, and the room I'm working in is different than I remember. I get sat with 3 full tables, one with 6 people. I'm taking drink orders without writing them down, then having trouble remembering them. I get angry with Cam (one of my managers there) because I'm not fully trained for the job and yet doing it anyway to help out.
I took Lorazepam (Ativan) and Clonidine (I am prescribed these by a doctor) a few hours before then nap. I just started going over the tutorials then, so I was repeating the mantra "I will dream" a few times before falling asleep.

1/17/11-I was dreaming something, but I have no recall. Was barely aware that I was dreaming at all.

1/20/11-Recall is improving somewhat. Here I recall what really characterizes my dreams: weird stuff. I sneak into a shed somewhere on the street behind my parent's house, stealing 2 items from Ron Howard: One I don't remember, the other is a padded jacket made for climbing over barbed wire. Howard Stern is helping me for some reason. We take off down the street to a park at the end and into some woods east of the entrance (the setting is pretty close to real life). I hide some distance from the road, staying low under some leaves. Stern continues into the woods, trying to divert the perusing Ron Howard away from me and finding his own hiding place. But Ron Howard has a dog with him and it sniffs me out easily. This chase was not particularly scary.

1/21/11-This dream is set in some concrete industrial/skatepark area. I end up in a room loaded with DJ and music production equipment. Frank Adjei (a coworker) is there and I ask him for a cigarette. He gives me one. I start playing with the equipment, but Frank won't leave and I begin to get upset with him...

1/22/11-Only a couple of fragments to recall. I'm at my parents house and I have taken ecstasy, but I'm not feeling high. Still trying to behave normally in front of my family...then I'm at work and my old boss who was fired is back. I hated this guy. He's rewriting the work schedule, but for some reason it all looks fair.

1/27/11-More fragments, maybe 2 separate dreams or 2 separate blocks of sleep:
In the first dream all I can remember is handling 2 large single-action pistols (think of an old west gun). The bullets are huge-they look like rifle rounds. I am loading and firing both of them.
The second dream I recall better. It takes place in what looks like a garden apartment complex. Some sort of redneck gathering is going on there, there are towed trailers and furniture set outside. I'm flirting back and forth with a girl, but I can't remember what she looks like. Then some sort of specialized tactical training begins. I'm carrying a sniper rifle and trying to shoot a team of opponents. It looks like I win the exercise.

1/29/11-Just fragments again. Something was crawling up my right leg...
This animated me enough that I started shaking in my sleep and my wife woke me up to see if I was okay.

1/30/11-2 dreams last night. In the first one, I have a motorcycle. It's burgundy colored, sporty, and has smaller wheels like a dualsport model. It can shift gears manually or automatically, and the transmission is controlled by 2 buttons on the side of the tank that look like turn signals. Im zipping back and forth at my high school between the front and rear parking lots. I'm conducting some sort of business with a couple of hispanic guys in the front lot-it appears to be about vehicles...
I'm in some trouble in the second dream. I've applied for a job and was passed up on it. I go to my dad for support, but he's being really mean to me. It hurts my feelings enough to the point where I am breaking down and crying. My aunt finally gets across to my dad why I'm so upset. All this time I'm building a room in my parents' basement (have not lived there for 8 years). It has dividers like an office cubicle, but a bed and small appliances like an efficiency apartment...

That's my block of dreams for the past 2 weeks. My recall is improving, and I'm going to try to post journals online more often.