nightmare

Haluan, my Hip Hop Team that I've abandoned due to exhaustion and working too much, had a competition, and I went to it instead of sitting it out--weird, as I don't know any of the dances. Classic on-stage-in-front-of-everyone-but-don't-know-the-dance, but I faked it.

The weird part is, we won.

Instead of me fearing that I'd mess up and lose, I feared that I'd get away with the fact that I put no effort into it. I feared people would respect me when they shouldn't.

I am at some event in a classy and giant mansion with dim lighting and lots of doors and staircases. It's like Hogwarts if there was nothing good about Hogwarts. I'm with my brother--still no idea why I'm there, but not questioning it. And various people I don't recognize filtering in and out of the rooms, all as if they're on their way somewhere special.

I'm nervous about going to the event because I'll have to socialize (which is, in real life, not really a weakness of mine), even though I know I should be at this event. However I'd been holding my cat and was putting him down in a fairly people-less corridor, because that's where the cats were. I guess it was the cat room where they were allowed to hang out during the event.

I fast-forward through the event, which I never really went to, just dawdled around for a while I guess, and suddenly it's time to leave and I have to get my cat. I haven't REALLY left the room, but I can't find her. In my dream, it was a boy cat...which is weird, because Pounce is definitely a girl and I've never forgotten that.

I kept seeing other cats and thinking "OH THANK GOD, that must be mine" (does that make me a cat racist?) and then picking it up without really checking and just HOPING I could get away with this working out, fearing that I'd be wrong. But then I'd look and of course it wouldn't be mine. I just kept picking up cats and not having it be mine and it felt awful. I'd fucked up by leaving him(her) there, even though it was "the cat room". I never found out what the event was.