false awakening

April 6, 2013 - 4.5 hours in - 2 minutes - WBTB, FA, RC

I set a WILD alarm every 30 minutes starting 3.5 hours in, and the first time I got up to drink water and use the bathroom, and each time the alarm went off I would FILD for a little, then did a reality check and was awake, and fell asleep quickly thereafter.

I forget the early lucid part of this dream, but I don't think much happened.

I am laying in bed and I plug my nose and I can inhale and realize I am in a dream. As I reminded myself to do previously next time I am in a lucid dream, I don't hurry out of bed but rub my hands together and move slowly. I don't open my eyes, but wait for visuals to appear, which they do, despite not really feeling like my eyes are open. The lighting throughout the dream is low, like a room in the early morning with the blinds closed.

Once out of bed, I run right through a wall next to the door, which is on the wall perpendicular to the wall it is on in reality. I pass through like it doesn't even exist. On the other side is an identical wall a few feet away, which keeps repeating each time I pass through, although with a slight variation in how far away the next wall is. While doing this I remember that this was one of my goals for my next lucid dream, so I do it a couple more times.

I then move on to my other main goal, of falling backwards, and then instead of passing through a wall again, I turn to the right a little into what seems like an empty room, but I don't look around. I let myself fall backwards, which I do until I hit the carpeted floor (like my bedroom which I started in) and stop suddenly. It doesn't hurt at all, but I 'wake up' in bed.

I think it likely to be a false awakening and I plug my nose and can inhale. I leave my bedroom and am heading up the basement stairs for some reason. I am looking at my phone and it has only the background of the home screen, which shows a clear sky at night, much like it would be in reality. I go towards the kitchen and decide to look at the phone more, since I accomplished my goals. Now it looks like reality with all the icons. I look for Angry Birds, so I press the "Apps" button, which gives me four evenly spaced icons, each one having to do with Angry Birds. During this time I remember not to stare at one spot for too long, so as not to cause waking up. One icon is called "Toss" and I select it.

Unfortunately, at this point my WILD alarm goes off again, ending the dream. This is very disappointing, but I am happy I accomplished my goals with time to spare to goof off.

March 26, 2013 - 5 hours in - 15 seconds - WBTB, WILD, FILD, FA, RC

Every 20 minutes, for a total of 5 times, I had the WILD alarm go off to wake me up to practice it. However, most times I figured on doing nothing, thinking (wrongly) that I was too awake and I should try it some other time. Then I lay comfortably and alternate very, very slightly tapping my index and middle fingers of my left hand.

I do it for maybe 30 seconds, at no time feeling any perceptible change in anything. I see the patterns of colored lights, but I see these when awake and tired also. Eventually I saw a blob of light that seemed in a sense to be like seeing the window through my eyelids, so I waited a little and then tried to plug my nose and inhale. Up to this point everything felt exactly like reality, yet I inhaled successfully. I can hardly believe it - I transitioned seamlessly into a dream!

I think for a second to try to remember my goals, and I think of breaking something. I try to get up out of bed, but feel a 'change' and do my reality check again. I have woken up, possibly triggered by opening my eyes too soon or by other in-dream movement.

March 11, 2013 - 6 hours in - 2 minutes - WBTB, SSILD, MILD, FA, RC

Was practicing quick DEILD-style WILDs every 15 minutes via alarm starting 3.5 hours in, but just kept going back to sleep on each alarm, and at about 4.5 hours in I just turned those off and fell asleep normally. I then woke naturally about 5.5 hours in and stayed up for about 15-20 minutes, then did about 6 SSILD cycles of gradually increasing length. Afterward I did a mantra of "1, I know I'm dreaming, 2, I know I'm dreaming, 3..." while trying to visualize each digit up to 25, then laid down and went back to sleep.

I see something where it shouldn't be. I realize it as a hallucination and they fade away quickly. I figure that dream imagery has crossed over into waking life somehow.

After this sometime I am laying in bed when I try to plug my nose and breathe. It is successful and I know it is a dream, but my eyes are closed. I try the idea of opening my eyes with my dream hands, which I do, but I still am blind. Anyway, visuals somehow appear shortly afterward. The lighting throughout the house is not bright, like it is only via light from outside windows.

I rub my hands together for a short time on a regular basis throughout the dream. I move slowly and I put pants on, since I don't have any on in the dream for some reason. Then I evidently go into what is supposed to be the other bedroom. I think of my goal of summoning someone, but first I go into that bathroom, which has the same shape as reality, to see if there are any extra doors leading somewhere to explore. There aren't and back in the bedroom, a large sectional sofa with messy sheets occupies the corner of the room. There are two alarm clocks laying on the sheets, one says 29:03, the other says "Guero" (which is evidently a Spanish word, but I didn't know that at the time, so it is just a made up word). I try going in a room like the closet but I wake up before I do anything.

February 23, 2013 - 6 hours in - 3 minutes - WBTB, SSILD, MILD, FA, RC

Woke via alarm after 3.5 hours and did about 6 SSILD cycles of gradually increasing length, doing the cycles the same every 1.5 hours after that. Afterward I fell asleep to a mantra of "1, I'm dreaming, 2, I'm dreaming, 3..." while trying to visualize each digit. The mantra only was done on other natural awakenings.

I wake up in bed. I plug my nose to see if I can breathe, but at first I can't tell. I try a little more and it seems like some air is getting through, so I try harder and I can definitely breathe. This is in fact a dream, only problem, there is no vision. I don't open my eyes right away so I don't open my real eyes and wake up. Somehow I eventually see, perhaps by opening my eyes slowly, and it is rather light in my bedroom. (This time, in reality, it is actually pretty dark.) I can feel the sheet on my body. I reach for my cellphone, to do some experiments which I had been hoping to try. The phone is pushed up against the headboard by a pillow, and grab it carefully so it doesn't fall down behind the bed. I pinch its (hard in reality) plastic skin somehow and hold the phone in my hand while I periodically rub my left hand on my wrist to stabilize.

I turn it on and the background looks normal, but the two rows of apps are made of random colorful icons and names I have never seen. I look for one called "Gallery" and tap it. Like reality, there are three categories of pictures, but they have the names "MILK," "GREEN ONIONS," and something else along those lines. One of them shows a picture of a cartoon milk carton. I think I tap on one but forget what is in it.

Then I go back to the home screen and look for an app called "Maps." I tap it, but it displays something like a game intro screen with a cartoon guy in a green shirt in a cartoon city. There is a message that pops up that I think had to do with setting it up. I give up on this and go back to the home screen, and I want to activate the Siri-like voice assistant, but before I can do that, the phone displays an error message with technical jargon and turns off.

I think at this point lucidity also disappeared. Then I think outside the window some people I know are wanting me to come outside, so I tell them I'll be out soon. I wake up shortly after this.

February 22, 2013 - 8.5 hours in - 30 seconds - WBTB, SSILD, MILD

Woke via alarm after 3.5 hours and did about 6 SSILD cycles of gradually increasing length, doing the cycles the same every 1.5 hours after that. Afterward I fell asleep to a mantra of "1, I'm dreaming, 2, I'm dreaming, 3..." while trying to visualize each digit. The mantra only was done on other natural awakenings.

Me and a friend are driving at night down a street with a traffic light ahead and I see a kid in a white jacket with hood who looks like he is running away from home. I suggest letting someone know about this, but then I notice 3 or 4 duplicates of this kid walking at regular intervals down the road away from us. I get out and see the kid is actually looking backward somehow, with a blank, lifeless expression.

I find this creepy, but also then realize that this is all a dream. I plug my nose and breathe, then I run up to the next kid, who has the same expression. This creeps me out again, ending this dream scene and putting me in my dark bedroom in a false awakening.

I plug my nose and know it is still a dream. I can see the low light from the window. I don't like how it is still dark, so I shout "Light!" but it does nothing. I try to reach over for my phone to try stuff on it, but the dream ends and I feel my right hand making a plugging motion, not on my nose, but on a pillow. I open my eyes and see that it is dark only because my head is under the blanket. I have woken up for real.

February 11, 2013 - 9 hours in - 5 minutes - WBTB, SSILD, FA

I wake up after 5 hours via alarm and do the full set of SSILD cycles, then I wake up earlier than the alarm, every 20 to 90 minutes, doing a few cycles each time as I fall asleep.

I am in a preexisting dream that I find extremely undesirable, although I don't remember being scared per se.

I realize on some level that it is not real, possibly because of the emotional reaction involved. I blink rapidly and shout, "Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!"

I am laying in bed in my dark bedroom. (In reality at this time it should be rather bright.) I plug my nose and amazingly, I can breathe. Somehow this false awakening ends into another, with the same action performed by me. I get up out of bed quickly and try to feel the wall, and I feel my closet door and then the wall, and then I feel the light switch. It is already up, and I flip it down and there is still no light. I open the door and run down to another part of the house.

J. is here and in front of her I plug my nose and breathe deeply. I say that is physically impossible and ask her how I did that. She says something like, "It only sounds like you did that." Then I look at my hand and start counting fingers out loud - "one, two, three" - but then I realize my hand actually looks normal. So I give up on showing her my hand and leave.

Now it is light everywhere, sort of blue-ish. I explore the house at this point. Unlike the last lucid dream, this time I realize a lot of it looks different from reality, but I don't recall most specifics. I am able to run from place to place, which I do a lot since it is tireless and fast. I go in the basement and am surprised the door is open. Downstairs the walls and ceiling are finished, with them and the floor all having paint like the upstairs walls. The ceiling is mostly flat but slopes downward slightly near the long sides. The overall shape of the basement looks like reality. On the floor I see a black dead centipede broken in a few pieces that is about twice the size of reality. This make me apprehensive of what I might find down there, like spiders, but it looks clear and I proceed with the stairway to my left. On the right wall, some dirty insulation is strewn on the floor, with dirty water on the floor there. I look at my hands (this time there are extra fingers) and shout "Clarity now!" but this only seems to make everything blur temporarily, each time I tried it.

Back upstairs, I see a white bookshelf with some of my books on it. I take one and start reading randomly. It talks about vaccines (which this particular book very well may have), in detailed technical jargon that I try to comprehend without focusing too much, but cannot. I glance at the rest of the pages open and various medical treatments are mentioned, with each one named in small caps. The book, font, and paper are very realistic.

Next, my idea is to get my car keys and drive away.

It seems at this point my bedroom and the dining room are arranged in the manner of the old house, but I don't notice this in the dream. In the dining room, I see the loop the keys are on hanging on a horizontal door handle. They look fake to me, but I figure they'll work anyway, so I try to take them. However, the door handle is attached on both ends, so it is impossible to get the keys off. I give up on these and head towards my closet in the other room (which is like the closet of the new house but in the position in the room of the old). I evidently feel the dream fading, as I plug my nose and breathe to try to keep it going, as I head towards the right door. Before I can, however, I wake up.

January 15, 2013 - Less than 6.5 hours in - 20 seconds - WBTB, MILD, FA, RC

Used MILD mantra, "Look at your hands, you are dreaming" every alarm awakening every 90 minutes or so.

I 'wake up' in my dark bedroom in my bed and decide to look at my hands. In fact, they are distorted and I realize I am in a dream. I plug my nose and I can still breathe. However, I feel extremely sleepy and struggle to keep my 'eyes' open. Since I feel it may fade out soon, I decide to cut right to the goal of summoning B. I look into the darkness (which is sort of purple - like the patterns seen when you close your eyes) and try to visualize them there. It is difficult to remember them and I give up. I look again at my hand in front of the meager window light and it is still distorted. Despite feeling extremely lethargic, I try to get out of bed and head towards the light switch, since I don't like it being dark, although I know the switch may not work. With this effort, I wake up for real.