Mrs. Jones

My sleep schedule's been really fucked up lately. like i'll go to bed at 4 and wake up at 10 and go to bed at 4 again.... so when i came home last night i was so exhausted, i was out about 10 seconds after i hit the sack.

... and woke up naturally at 3am. What the hell?? I'd shorted myself maybe 20 hours of sleep that week and all i get is 5 fucking hours?

Anyway, after having hobbled around the house for like an hour I went back to bed, and in my half-dream I was at a checkout counter with my mom, and suddenly I felt my whole body going numb one limb at a time. So I said "mom I'm fainting, help". Guess what she did? All she said was "oh ok", aloof and a little patronizing, and then she went back to paying the cashier. I remember thinking, "bitch, i'm fuckin fainting i'm gonna fall, why don't you do anything" (not really, i don't talk to my mom that way unless i'm PMDD'ing....no, not really.) and in my heated frustration I awoke.

At first I thought, "shit, not again, I just want to sleep." and then I realized, the sensation I had just experienced was... dun dun dun,, SLEEP PARALYSIS. And after that all I had to do was lay still for 30 seconds and it'd happen again. and again. and again, maybe a dozen times, and each time i'd get so excited and bothered that the SP wasn't even able to progress to completion. In short, it never happened. Finally I got so fed up that I was just like, hey, fuck it, I gotta sleep. So i did.

FIN