• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




    View RSS Feed

    nautilus

    It's been about nine years since I was last active on Dreamviews, so my old dream journal on here is archived from back when they were just regular forum threads.

    I still get lucid dreams from time to time since I stopped actively trying, and I did have a couple of years where my dreams were particularly vivid and engaging because I became fascinated with Jungian dream interpretation. For the most part, however, my dream recall and frequency of lucids has taken a real dip and I'm ready to get back into it. While I keep a daily private dream journal, I like to post lucids as well as some of the more memorable regular dreams.

    Current Goals:
    1) Improve dream recall again
    2) Lucid dream more frequently
    3) Build something from scratch while lucid and test its permanence from dream to dream
    4) Dream cartography; explore the natural mental connections between different dream locations


    Also, I'm currently on a polyphasic sleep schedule, Dual Core 1 extended, as of 8-2-20. Entries will reflect which period of sleep the dream occurred in. The schedule is as follows:
    22:00 - 1:30 Core 1
    5:45 - 7:30 Core 2
    14:00 - 14:25 Afternoon Nap

    1. Get Bird

      by , 09-15-2020 at 01:00 AM
      Monday, 9/14/20, Core 2

      I resembled my waking life self, although I was in a strange place. I seemed to be underground. The dirt floor was damp with pools of water and there were various discarded items strewn about. I removed a bird from a wicker cage. I think it was a white cockatoo. I was thinking of it as my pet, despite never having had or even held a bird. I wandered around and the bird sometimes rode on my shoulder, sometimes on my hand, sometimes flew short distances away. At one point the bird landed on my hand and I tried to pet it on the chest with one finger. It decided it didn't want me to and started gently biting my finger with its beak. At first I thought it was cute and was playing, but then it began to bite my finger harder. I realized I knew nothing about handling birds. I stopped attempting to pet or play with it but now it latched on hard to my finger and it was pretty painful. I regretted not bringing the cage.

      After some more traveling, we ended up at a pool party, perhaps in someone's backyard. Other people had brought their pets as well, and I had my camera to take pictures. DV member MoonageDaydream made a cameo! She was recording video of a small white terrier dog, then she switched to taking video of all the animals. She shrugged semi apologetically, and told me something like, "I have plenty of footage and I want to get the other pets too. I only was focusing on the one dog because my mom was worried there wouldn't be enough footage of him."


      Spoiler for Additional Notes:
    2. A Leaden Lucid Fragment

      by , 09-15-2020 at 12:19 AM
      Sunday, 9-13-20, Core 2

      After a couple of long, regular dream fragments I found myself in the upstairs bathroom, sitting on the toilet. It was night and I was spacing out a bit, staring at the fan grate in the wall (which was on the wrong wall though I didn't notice at the time.) For a few brief moments, the grate I was looking at blurred and faded, and in fact everything in my visual field seemed to "glitch" and become less solid. I stared hard at the grate to try and unblur my vision, and it seemingly popped back into existence, becoming even more sharply defined than before. This whole experience was very similar to common waking life experiences where one might defocus one's vision when tired or consciously refocus on an object in order to sharpen one's vision on it. However, I found the extreme degree to which this happened here unnerving as it seemed as though the reality around me was liable to disappear altogether without constant attention to it. This is very likely a dream. I thought. My mind threw up the requisite resistance in the background due to the realistic, mundane nature of my experience up to this point. No, this could be a dream. I insisted mentally. I thought backwards, remembering the previous two dream fragments as if they were part of my day, then thought back further to remember myself getting into bed for core 2. There had been something a little strange about everything after that point, when I thought about it. I haven't woken up since then, I realized, I am dreaming!

      I decided to test gravity by seeing if I could think myself into floating, as I habitually do upon first becoming lucid. However, this time I felt heavily weighted down, as if my body were made of lead. Everything was vague and I knew I needed to stabilize the dream. I went to raise my hand in front of my face so I could stare at it to bring more clarity, but I couldn't raise it a single inch. I was genuinely surprised. Why do I feel so heavy? I asked myself, If it's just my expectation I should be able to change it with a thought... I tried this and failed. I then noticed that I could seemingly sense my waking life body where it lay. I could even feel where one of my feet was hanging off the end of the bed. The sensations mapped to the position I remembered falling asleep in. REM atonia? I wondered. Am I closer to a waking state than in previous lucids, but still deeply enough asleep for the atonia to be present? Is my brain translating my bodily sensations into this dream experience of extreme heaviness?

      I looked around again and realized the dream had faded more. Brute forcing things wasn't working. While I didn't feel close to waking up in terms of sensation (the level to which I could sense my body wasn't changing), I was reluctant to sit in a blurry dream scene for an extended period of time. If this is due to atonia, maybe I can work with that. I'll let images come and go they might in a WILD, observe them and wait for them to stabilize to a more solid dream. After a few moments, the fully blurred out scene randomly gave way to a vision of water, waves, the surface of an ocean.
      Before the scene could fully form, however, my consciousness lapsed. I know I dreamt some more before waking, though I don't remember the content.

      Spoiler for Additional Notes:
    3. Meeting my Departed Cat Again

      by , 08-09-2020 at 02:10 AM
      Thursday, 8/6/20, Core2


      False awakening. I heard my alarm going off but something made me suspect I was dreaming and that the alarm was just part of the dream so I didn't hurry to turn it off. I was laying in bed and not moving easily. A finger count reality check confirmed I had too many fingers but for some reason I still wasn't 100% certain I was really dreaming. I thought about rolling "out of my body" and flying but I was reluctant to fling myself out of bed if I turned out to be awake (it's not close to the floor). What can I do that would be easier? I wondered. I tried to affect my environment. The sound of the alarm faded in and out with my focused thought, then I made it go silent. The entire visual of my room faded as well. Oops. I rolled out of bed and floated to the floor, having now convinced myself I was in a dream and that I needed to stabilize it.

      A lapse in consciousness as everything faded to black briefly. I found myself standing in the upstairs bathroom. Wait a minute, I thought after a few seconds, How did I get here? Am I still dreaming? I counted my fingers; seven, eight. It was very strange because my hands looked so normal even when I stared directly at them. I checked a couple more times just to convince myself once again. I was looking around me in amazement because everything was so realistic, an exact replica of my waking life bathroom. Clearer, even. I stared at and felt the bumps on the wall, saw how light reflected off the semi gloss, mint green paint. I decided to go downstairs to look around some more. I hope I'm not just awake and really sleep deprived. I thought idly, Otherwise people are going to think I've really lost it, staring at the walls and talking about how amazing they are.

      As I walked down the stairs, I pulled at my hand, trying to see if I could morph it. I did, slightly. The weighting of gravity felt so realistic as well that I wondered if I would be able to fly in this dream since it felt like it would be difficult. I tested it by jumping off a few stairs and confirmed I could float. It felt stranger than usual in this environment. I reached the kitchen where my mom was doing dishes. "Hey Mom," I said, "This is a dream."

      "Oh, yeah?" she said.

      "Yeah." I thought of what I wanted to do with my lucidity. "Do you want me to show you how to fly?" I asked her.

      "No that's okay, I already know how to do that. I've done enough of that lately." She went back to doing dishes. I was somewhat mystified by this decision.

      "Oh, okay." I wanted to go out back so I started looking around for the nearest exit. I went and opened the front door. "Well, see you later." I added. Wait, why am I looking for a door to go all the way around? I could just take a straight shot through the kitchen wall. I changed course and flew at the wall. I can't believe some people get stuck in walls, it's never happened to me. All you have to do is not think about it. So then, of course, it happened to me. I got stuck in the wall halfway through. It felt like I was moving through molasses and everything went dark for a couple seconds. Then I could see an extremely vague back yard scene. I focused on a point relatively far away - since the closer focal points weren't yielding results - and I set a strong intention to go there directly. I essentially teleported to the intended spot and the scene became vivid and clear once again.

      I flew above my yard, which was roughly accurate to waking life but much bigger. I spotted my late cat Pascal, a fluffy, 24-pound Maine Coon, laying in the yard just past the redwood tree. He was staring up at me. I flew lower and slowed, with a bit of difficulty controlling my height and speed initially. "I don't regret any of it!" I announced to him out of nowhere once I landed in front of him. "Well, except I wish we'd realized how sick you were sooner so you didn't have to go like that. We wanted to be there." I knelt down next to my cat and pet him, talking to him about our time together when he was alive, telling him how much I loved him, and pulling twigs and leaves out of his fur. He just continued staring at me with big eyes and purring, though I got the sense he was listening.
      The dream lapsed into a non-lucid.

      Spoiler for Additional Notes:

      Updated 09-15-2020 at 12:19 AM by 17503

      Categories
      lucid , false awakening , memorable
    4. The Broken Lighthouse

      by , 07-20-2020 at 12:40 AM
      Saturday Night, 7/18/20

      I had an FA. I noticed that the perspective was wrong for waking up; I was looking down on my bed. I floated around the room a bit, confirming I was dreaming. I noticed the room was vague and the dream did not feel very stable. I aimed for the floor of my room and landed, bounced up and down a little trying to feel the carpet on the soles of my feet. I could hear a soft crunching sound, like the sound of velvet being gently crushed. The dream faded anyway, my vision going black. However, I still felt more connected to the dream than to my waking life body so I tried to imagine "throwing" myself back into the dream. I opened my eyes, a bit uncertain whether it would work, but it did. I was back in my room standing on the ground. I floated again to confirm. Up near the ceiling I grabbed onto the top of the cube structure where there was a wooden platform (it's sort of like the top of a bookcase). I alternated between staring at the wood grain and rubbing my hand across the wood. Sure enough the grains of the wood became incredibly detailed and lifelike. Looking around I could now see the lines on the palms of my hands, the bumps on the blue walls, the sharp outlines of various pieces of furniture.

      Satisfied that the dream was fully stabilized, I phased through the window of my room and glided over the land below. It was quite beautiful out, sunrise coloring the clouds. Although my backyard was much bigger than in waking life it was otherwise consistent with its current configuration. At least up until the stand of bamboo at the far end. Behind there and off to the right, instead of a fence, I found an open plot of dirt with a partially built lighthouse. At last! I thought, Although, I was kind of hoping to have it by an ocean... I considered that on the one hand it was convenient to have it close to my house but on the other hand I would have to use some trick of the mind in order to make use of it as I'd originally planned, as a lighthouse by the sea.

      Off to my left a woman and two young children were wandering from the bamboo forest into my backyard. I waved at the family. The youngest child, the boy, seemed to be the only one who saw me. He tried to get his mother and sister to look over. The mother squinted in my general direction and shrugged before continuing on her way. The little boy looked confused. I told him not to worry about it. It wasn't clear if he could hear me. I returned my attention to the lighthouse and saw that the first floor was thoroughly encased in rock and therefore inaccessible. I had planned to have steps carved into rock leading up to the base of the building and I mused that the dream must have constructed it this way like a bug in a video game when it was placed somewhere different from the intended landscape. The next two floors were far smaller than I'd planned. Beyond that it was completely unfinished. I began planning how I would fix it and build it out as if I were using Minecraft blocks. I wondered if I should leave it with its current black and white colors or change them to match the colors I'd planned for it when I designed it in waking life. I had only just begun modifying the structure when I heard a loud sound. Annoyed, I looked up to see that some random guy on a motorcycle had ridden up and parked behind the lighthouse, apparently oblivious to my presence. When I saw that he wasn't going to interfere further I tried to return my concentration to the task at hand
      but the dream faded into a different scene and I lapsed into non-lucidity.

      Spoiler for Additional Notes:

      Updated 09-15-2020 at 12:19 AM by 17503

      Categories
      lucid , false awakening , side notes
    5. Flying Means Dreaming

      by , 06-03-2020 at 05:55 AM
      Monday Night, 6/1/20

      Finally broke my dry spell and got a lucid! Didn't last long but I'm happy for the change. I recalled a ton of dream plot from last night but I'll skip to right before the lucid section:

      I was running down a deserted street in a suburban neighborhood, accompanied by a DC named "Chris", an in-dream boyfriend of a few months according to my dream memories. We'd just finished some schenanigans that ended with me shoving him behind a bush in front of his dwelling so he could finish getting dressed without the neighbors seeing him half naked. Don't ask Anyway we were laughing and running down the street and I started taking some leaps and jumps into the air as I ran because I was feeling quite happy and energized. I found that each jump carried me quite high, and I started to test just how high I could go. Soon I was floating up into the air. "Flying means dreaming." I muttered to myself because that sounded like a familiar phrase somehow. "Wait, I'm flying, so I'm dreaming!" I said. I glided along and spun around a bit.

      "Woah, look what you can do!" Chris said from where he was running on the ground.

      "You can do it too!" I told him, grabbing his hands and pulling him into the air. I let go and twirled him around in the air by making a circular motion with my hand. Right around then I heard my alarm start beeping. Chris and I stared at each other for a moment then the dream started to fade.


      When I opened my eyes I had that heavy, difficult to move feeling that told me I could still go back into the dream if I wanted to, if it weren't for the fact that I had to get up to turn off the alarm. A little annoyed, I broke the connection to the dream by moving and went to turn it off. Tried laying down again but was too awake by then to get back to sleep.

      Spoiler for Additional Notes:
    6. Dead Crow

      by , 06-01-2020 at 04:11 AM
      Sunday Night, 5/3/20

      Dreamt that I ended up in the ER due to some serious respiratory issues. They gave me a bed right next to a couple people infected with coronavirus. They looked like they could be dying from it. I asked the nurse if it was safe for me to be in the same room, especially in my weakened state. She told me it was fine and that "They're six feet apart!". I wasn't reassured, especially since it was more like two feet. Is this even a real hospital? I wondered. This isn't the right procedure. I then noticed there was no medical equipment anywhere, just cots. I laid there, fading in and out of consciousness, wondering if this was where I would die. At some point I found the strength to escape from the place when no one was looking.

      An involved plot followed where I got captured by a sociopathic serial killer in an abandoned industrial building. I managed to hold him down at one point but worried I wouldn't be able to maintain control of the situation until the police arrived. I don't think I did. The police did arrive, however. Three cops entered the building. I switched to the partial perspective of the lead detective, an older man close to retirement age. He/I instructed the others to split off and make a little noise to fake out the serial killer so he thought we were all approaching from a different side. Meanwhile I went off a different way as quietly as I could. The surprise ambush didn't work. The killer was holding a gun to the hostage, who was now actually a cat instead of a person. He gave me the ultimatum of taking a shot to the head to save the cat's life. I got the information that this cop was depressed and felt empty without his work to look forward to. He/I took the deal and for some reason I knew that the killer would adhere to the bargain... because he was just that particular brand of crazy.

      I somehow survived after taking four gunshots to the head. I was not in great shape, however, and knew I needed to seek medical attention. I staggered out of the building and into the forest at night, making my way down the path. I gradually became myself again. I came to a short, rustic stairway with a wooden railing. Around that area I noticed a few swarms of flies. I stopped and stared for a while from a distance. I wondered about what type of flies they might be and why they were swarming here. I crept closer to get a better look and discovered that there was a dead crow laying on its back and that's what had drawn the flies to the area. I stared at the crow for a few moments, then I stepped past it and continued a short distance along the path until I reached the edge of a college campus. The Narrator spoke, telling me that I was going to be alright. I turned my face to the sky as dawn was approaching and lifted up into the air, drifting above the campus. The Narrator gave me instructions on which direction to travel. It seemed odd to me that I was flying but I reasoned that I must be in some sort of virtual reality simulation. Yes, that's it, that's why I heard a voice. I figured.

      Spoiler for Additional Notes:
    7. Where the Blue Door Leads

      by , 05-28-2020 at 06:38 AM
      Monday Night, 4/27/20

      I was playing in the ocean along with one or two companions. "Come on!" I said, rushing headfirst into the water, swimming as fast as I could. I was half experiencing, half simulating the ocean waves. Upon realizing there were no large waves crashing over me, I began to expect them which then led to their creation and my experience of having large waves tumble me about. The part of me that was scared was drowned out (no pun intended) by my overall sense that I was perfectly safe. A female friend came along with me past the large waves. We were then rapidly pulled far out to sea where the waters became deep and calm. My mind offered up a couple practical concerns. Aren't you worried about dangerous sea creatures the longer you're out here? How far off is land on the other side of this ocean? Won't you get tired of swimming and drown? I decided it was best not to think of dangerous sea creatures. I should simply focus on not splashing around too much. As to getting tired, I found I was able to easily swim at a fast pace with barely any effort. Later we transitioned to walking and gliding along the surface of the water.

      As night approached, the Narrator said that we would need a place to rest for the night. A dark blue door with orange trim around it appeared. I knew exactly what it was the moment I saw it. I opened it and we stepped through, into my room. Inside it was arranged a little differently than waking life, with bunk beds and a couple random piles of blankets, pillows, and sheets laying around, but it was still fully recognizable. I also found there was a second door which I could open to the rest of the house. I walked around in the upstairs hallway then went back into my room again. Strange. I thought, while my friend just seemed obsessed with playing in the blanket pile and rubbing her face against the pillows. I opened the blue door once again to see that, indeed, it still led right out to the middle of the ocean. "You can change where the door leads." The Narrator informed me. I closed the door and reopened it to try it out. It no longer led to the ocean, now it led to a random room. I closed it for good this time and prepared for sleep, though I don't think I actually did fall asleep.


      Spoiler for Additional Notes:
    8. The Jaguar Woman

      by , 05-26-2020 at 10:45 PM
      Thursday Night, 11/7/19

      I was hiking through a forest and I came out into an open field, accidentally spawning a large bear as I did so. I had to run away from it using video game controls. It morphed from bear, to wolf, to lion, to jaguar and long story short I couldn't increase the distance between me and it no matter what tactics I used.

      Gradually the environment shifted from video game to realistic until I was running in my own body rather than using controls. Knowing I stood no chance remaining in the open field, I dove into the deep river to my left and swam across. I pulled myself out onto the opposite river bank and found myself back among the trees. But of course jaguars are excellent swimmers so the big cat followed me easily. As it came out of the water the jaguar transformed into a woman. She was beautiful and lithe, dressed in flowing white, with the cold expression of a seasoned killer. We came out onto a wide and empty paved road that cut through the trees. I walked backwards and shot invisible arrows at her which made her health bar go down - a remaining feature from the video game - but she was otherwise unfazed. She was slowly walking toward me holding an already bloodied sword which she didn't even bother to raise. She said, "It's always hard to kill something for the first time." Clearly she was not referring to herself. She seemed to be implying that any reluctance to kill on my part would give her the advantage.

      We both stopped walking and she informed me flatly that I was out of arrows. Her health bar was only at half. I knew I would have to use my sword and hack away for my life. I wasn't very skilled with a sword. That is to say I'd never used one before. As the jaguar woman raised her own sword it was immediately clear she was in her element. My alarm went off, yanking me out of there and into a waking state.