My Sleepy Mind 2010/2011

Original Date: 2/21/2010
Type: Anxiety - Non Lucid
Dream:
I'm on my lunch break, and I meet up with my boyfriend, but I don't have my car I somehow floated to meet him across town. I remember that my car is parked in some hotel parking lot that I rented a room at ages ago (I was there in another dream).

So I have him drive me there, but my car is not in the parking lot (then I remember that I have a rental at work and still need to take it back to the rental place so that they will give me my car back, like it was an exchange). Once at the hotel I freak because I realize I never checked out for my room! Holy shit I'm thinking, my bill is gonna be through the roof!

So we pull the car right up to this window and a little Asian lady says "what can I do for you?". I said to her "oh I need into my room", and she says "well then go in!". (her tone made me feel like an idiot for not just going in).

I proceed through the first door, and there is a cleaning lady behind it, I walk past her, and enter through the next door straight back (they are all dressed in maroon uniforms and the carpeting in there was maroon with a gold/yellow border). Behind that door was another woman with a cart trying to come through the same time as me, I say "excuse me" and squeeze past her. Still another door I pass through, with another cleaning lady, and I know that this is the hall my room was in.

As I approached my room there was another cleaning lady walking past, she asked something out loud, I thought to me, and I replied "she's back that way!" (almost yelling it, I think I was beginning to get frustrated at this point, but relieved I made it to the room)

The door to my room was a yellowish wood, different from dark wood off all the other rooms' doors. I went inside and found the room with all of my things in it, "thinking, holy shit, how am I going to pack up all of this and get it out of here and not be late back to work!?", I was starting to panic. So I focused on packing up clothes and stuffing them into these pretty decent sized bags, they had sunflowers on them. Then I'd look into another area of the room and see a vacuum cleaner that I obviously knew was mine and had no freakin clue how I'd be getting that out. (I kept thinking that I wanted to tell my boyfriend to come in and help me, but there was no way for me to communicate to him.) Then i went to the closet, and it was packed with more crap of mine, and there was another vacuum cleaner, brand new and I wasn't about to leave that there! But that's what I was starting to think, that I would have to leave some of my things behind once I "officially" checked out. The last thing I remember was looking elsewhere in the room and seeing 1 huge bag and little bit smaller box beside it overflowing with change (quarters, pennies, dimes) and this made my heart sink, because I knew I wasn't going to be able to life it

Objective Context:
My job makes me very anxious, and tomorrow is my first day back after 2 weeks of much needed leave. I always feel like I don't know what I am going to walk into or what to expect on a daily basis there and am always stressed (which I know is not healthy). Also, I think I feel as though there are things here at home that I still need to do to prepare for work tomorrow but I am procrastinating!

Original Date: 2/21/10
Type: Fragment/Family - Non Lucid
Dream:
(there were a couple of dreams I had, so this is a fragment runoff, the last of about 3-4)
First I was in a store shopping for baby clothes with some women who just had a baby girl, she was standing there with the stroller. Next thing I was at some house, and my grandma arrived from somewhere like a trip because someone was saying "She's here!", there was another girl there (I think maybe the girl who just had the baby) and she was in the kitchen. Then I remember me and possibly my mom (but later turned into my Grandma P) appeared at a different house. I remember hearing her make a comment about how the other girl at the old house was going to have to unload the big trucks filled with all of Grandma P's things by herself (and I felt pity for her, wanted to go back and help her, but I couldn't). Outside of this house there was a portion of maybe a wrought iron fence and on it was hanging some necklace, like red velvet and gold. I picked it up and brought it in the house, my Grandma P was standing at the door looking displeased. Then I remember a feeling of needing to prepare for something. And then we were in the kitchen and my Grandpa S was there and there was a huge box of sweet cream butter that we were unpacking into the fridge, I was taking out of the box and handing to someone who would put it into the fridge. The weird thing was I was pulling them out and the packages were opened and some was missing, like someone was eating as I was putting it away, then the butter started to be colorful as I took it out. Bright green ones, pink ones and blue ones. My Grandpa S started asking me questions about my boyfriend, like he was trying to tease me, I was a little reluctant, he was hinting about being married and I remember telling him that he is divorced and has two little boys. Then I heard my Grandpa S say he was hungry, telling my Grandma P and next I see him with a roast boiling in a coffee pot in front of my face. I say to him "I like to make chicken with vegetables, take chicken breast and season it..." and my Grandpa S cuts me off saying "Chicken!? Naw I don't want that healthy stuff!" and I say "Well Grandpa, I have to eat healthy now, or I won't make it to live as long as you." And he got quiet and said "Well, that's true".

Objective Context:
I have been thinking a lot about my grandparents on both sides of my family and feeling somewhat stressed that I have not seen my family in over a year. I used butter in cooking last night, and I make pork roast and kraut yesterday for dinner. I also interpreted dreams yesterday about someone's Grandfather and having a baby.

Age of Dream Ego: 26

Feelings:
Neutral, like a little workhorse, connected, familiarity

Original Date: Today!
Type: Ordinary - Non Lucid
Dream:
I was in my bedroom which had a table and a tv, not a bed and not like my real bedroom and there was a makeshift kitchen behind it where the wall would be. I was talking to Nick on a walkie talkie and I was startled by someone appearing in the doorway, it was my neighbor's girlfriend. I was shocked how she got in cuz my door is always locked. We sat and talked for a bit then my neighbor came over to get her. As they were leaving, he turned to hug me and said he would be back over later. (We've seen each other in passing, but never spoke a word to one another) I just said "uh huh, sure you will" while rubbing and patting his back, not understanding why he would say this when he had his girlfriend. They left and I locked my door. I went back to the room, was talking to Nick and suddenly after a time the neighbor was back in the house, he said he wanted spanish rice and pulled a bad from the cupboard in the makeshift kitchen, but it was dry lima beans with rice mixed in it. At some point, he was gone and there was a stranger girl in my living room in front of the door. That's when I noticed my door was broken, like my neighbor broke it when he or his girlfriend had left! It's hinges were off and there was rust on a broken piece at the bottom. I was very panicky about this while talking to Nick about it over the walkie. The neighbors I could see outside sitting on chairs playing with my dog while the stranger in my house was talking to me about stupid things my neighbors would do or talk about and how they'd act in the car. (I think she was a friend of theirs and at one point I actually saw her in the car with them while she was talking about it) (in real life I never see him with any friend) Then my dog was in the house, I was in the kitchen, and saw her squatting to take a crap on the floor, I started to go to stop her but then was just like fuck it and just kept talking. (My ex was in my kitchen, he used to be a cook, he took off his shoe to show me giant mushrooms that he cut and put in for padding. This was supposed to be my boyfriend Nick because of his arduous job, but turned into my ex.) Then the dog went to the living room and crapped more in front of tv. I went around to pick it up and throw it out and when I went into the living room there were people bringing in chairs and there were pieces of jewelry sitting on white pieces of cloth like for gifts or a display or party and I think it was being organized by my ex's mom, but I did not like this in my house.

Objective Context:
I heard my neighbor and girlfriend talking loudly when I first woke up at 430am (no doubt from them). Not wanting to go outside or back to work in 3 days. Feeling safe and content in my home.

Age of Dream Ego: 26

Associations to the Dream Settings:
Invasion of peace and privacy, feeling violated with loss of control. No control over my home, where I feel most safe.

Original Date: 12/12/10
Type: Ordinary - Non Lucid
Dream:
I was at work in my office and I went to check the board (schedule). As I walked back into my office my supervisor called my name and I went to her, she asked why I was always leaving my office acting like I had nothing to do and I told her I went to look at the schedule because I was supposed to be on record reviews while someone else was teching for my provider. My other tech was in the room sitting in my super's chair and I said to her "so I'm teching by myself?". She nodded. (I remember making some mention about my foot being painful and someone just scoffed) - Then I was out in the front of the clinic where there was some meeting, and after it ended I made a joke about being in the back so I could cut out of the crowd easily. - Then my ex and I had an apartment on a second or third floor and nearby my car was parked in a lot with other cars. At nighttime I had gone down knowing I had parked beside his green honda accord, but when I got there my brand new car was gone! I was pissed and panicked, I came back to tell my ex. Later I went back down and it was there, and I saw a man with a cowboy hat and boots lighting his cigarette and I just felt like he had something to do with it, so I went to tell my ex. The last part of the dream, I left my work midday, and walked through a peaceful little city that could be similar to somewhere in Asia. Not quite sure where I ended up, but I was then trying to get back and realized I didn't have my uniform on, I must've left my clothes, so I started to panic and went to the apartment for anther uniform. (I was going everywhere on foot) It was daytime and now this was me and my current boyfriends apartment. (Same apartment, different person) There was a women outside that at first when I asked him, he said he didn't know her, but I later found out he lied and it was someone he rode with to work, was upset about that. I got home and all I had were a shirt and pants! No shoes, socks, so I had no choice but to run back to the place to retrieve the clothes I left there. I had a feeling of panic because I knew I was going to be late for work, it was far and this time going there felt even farther. I was running. I ran past school kids in uniforms eating there lunch under big shady trees, and they turned to look at me. I was running in ABU pants without socks and shoes (I thought about my foot, surprised it didn't hurt to run). I got to the place and walked passed what looked like a gym with people playing basketball. Into a back room I found my clothes bundled up and tossed behind something in a corner and everything was there, shoes, top....but no socks.

Objective Context:
Going back to work tomorrow, won't be teching, and the scheduler is on leave. Being frustrated yesterday for soon being out of a vitamin. Losing good amounts of weight on new diet, difficulty with urges to eat bad goodies.

Age of Dream Ego: 26

Feelings:
Anger, irritation, frustration, trapped, detest, unfair, disrespect, not being believed, panic, running out of time, betrayed, searching.

Original Date: 12/10/10
Type: Ordinary - Non Lucid
Dream:
This started in a field with snow and frost and pumpkins. Some of the pumpkin stalks had been burned. I was with someone, a guy. He walked to the left and I continued to walk straight. I saw a rabbit with some gray on his nose, sitting on a stump. I went over to him, laying on my right side and put my hand out to let him smell it and he did. Then I was brave enough to touch and pet him. He darted away up a hill, and the grass was now green and visible. He came back and I pet him some more and he ran again, this time I followed him. Up the hill he had run to a house, one that I remembered, it was very old and no one lived there. There was a huge sunroom, with shining through the first and second floor screens. And off to the side was a door with a walkway leading to maybe the driveway. My boyfriend followed and I told him this was the perfect house. We looked at the sign and it said it was part of the pizza beside it. We went inside and then I was with my stepmom and my dad. I found an inlet with wooden walls and upon pressing the wall a door leading to the basement popped out, I showed my stepmom, then continued on in the house. We walked up the wide staircase, dad was ahead of us, and my bunny was back, he was on the stairs with dad. At the top there was a door and a hole in the banister where the stairs would continue going up but they just stopped and dropped off. The bunny just turned like he expected more stairs and fell down to the lower lever below, we chuckled. I darted past my dad on the stairs to go into the door first, inside was the attic and it was huge! There were 3 very large beds and stuff was scattered everywhere, the beds had bedding on them but were mismatched and not made. Then I realized that the steps were the only thing to lead to this, no other doors, so I went downstairs to search for other rooms. With my stepmom, we found another room, which I think was similar to a bedroom. The cool part was that there was an opening in the ceiling, that was like huge wide steps. Using my forearms, I hoisted myself up and realized this took us back to the attic. Then I was back downstairs and wanted to show my father the basement. When we went down it was pretty decent, not terrible old, a little messy. While down there for some reason my dad captured my bunny and submerged him in liquid to preserve and do tests on him. I was very upset, I saw my bunny's face staring back at me through the jar. Then my dad took him out and wanted to put another chemical on him. I was boiling mad! The poor rabbit had only about 4 hairs left on his body, he was blue and then he looked orange. At one point a thought had gone through my head to leave the bunny there as we walked out the door. And I felt very horrible for this, then I thought I never should have gone to pet him. I was very sad.

Notes:
This was sad, I felt like it was my fault and that I lost something precious, because it was a life. The house was familiar to me in some ways, maybe dreamt of it before.

Objective Context:
I discussed houses with a coworker. My boyfriend told me he wasn't ready to be married anytime soon. Work drama/stress. Still needing to study. I was telling boyfriend about my house pet spider Max.

Age of Dream Ego: 26

Associations to Dream Setting:
This was a familiar place to me, the house, I visited it before. The outside was relaxing and had great potential, but it was a neglected fixer upper house.

Feelings:
Happiness, discovery, reluctance, curiosity, excitement, disappointment, anger and loss.

Original Date: 12/7/10
Type: Fragment - Non Lucid
Dream:
I was in the living room in our apartment, possibly sitting in a chair or standing outside of the bedroom door. Looking in, I saw Nick (my boyfriend who is currently now here with me) lying in bed, the head of the bed was up against the wall closest to the neighbor. Nick was looking back at me, we stared at each other, but weren't in the same room, like we could see but not touch one another. We were distanced.

Objective Context:
Spoke minimally to him on the phone the previous night, I'm missing him very much and it feels like time isn't going by fast enough. I'm getting ready for some stressful weeks ahead at work.

Age of Dream Ego: 26
Dream Setting:
At home, comfortable and relaxed. It's my place of solace, my sanctuary away from stress and military.

Feelings:
Neutral, happiness, distance, separation but closeness, love and warmth, desire and need.
Interpretation:
He is close in my heart by talking on the phone and our love, but he is still distant and far away by the fact that we were separated by a single room, like we could move, but only see each other, not touch and feel.

Original date: 12/6/2010 (when I started my journal in my phone)
Type: Fragment - Non Lucid
Dream:

I was suddenly on a boat/ship in water/ocean. The water was somewhat choppy and it was night, a lot of grey, dark blue, some green and slight moonlight. Then far in the distance, an island appeared almost as if it was coming up out of the water and it was dark. Once it appeared, there was an unexpected almost anxious or panicky feeling. I also felt that I was seeing this from a man's body on the boat.

Objective Context:

It was a Sunday night, I was preparing for work the next day, felt a bit anxious. Started second day of my low cal diet.

Age of Dream Ego: 40