non-lucid

Last night I tried sleeping with melatonin rather than Ambien, and although I didn't sleep well, I remembered a ton of dreams and dream fragments.

The first I recall was of being on an unfamiliar street in a familiar neighborhood. I was somewhere near the Montrose area of Houston, and a female police officer was chasing down a suspect. She had forgotten her gun back at the nearby police station and she asked me to run back to grab it for her. She said it would be in the second slot to the left. I ran to the station and looked in a parked squad car before I realized she wanted me to look inside the station, and maybe I'd get in trouble for messing with the police cars. I went inside the strangely deserted station, which was more like an old converted house. I found a room with lots of metal storage slots, and they were all marked with lengthy numbers printed in white font against a black background. I pulled a gun out from the second slot to the left, and a woman came in just then to ask what I was doing. I told her the officer needed her gun to arrest a suspect, and the lady said, "That's not a real gun. You have to give me the slot number so I can pull the corresponding bingo bag." I had no idea what that meant, but okay, she got me the gun, and I ran off. Somehow the suspect was waiting patiently for the officer to receive her gun in order to arrest him at gunpoint. I made sure to hand it to the officer handle first with the safety on.

The next dream was more of a fragment than anything. It had something to do with an old movie from the 90's, but I was actually on set with the characters. The movie isn't real in the waking world, but in the dream, I was familiar with it and remembered that it was a really funny film. The actors were happy to be reliving the shoot. That all somehow led into me scaling a tall house with lots of high balconies on it in the midst of a gentle nighttime snow shower. I wasn't quite flying, but I could use different balcony railings to pull myself higher and then drift to the next handhold. It's a dream sensation I'm familiar with. It's as if gravity is really, really slight, and I'm able to swing or hop across impossible distances.

The next dream was where I became semi-lucid. I was just lucid enough to make mental notes of all the incredible, fully realized detail around me, but not quite lucid enough to realize that I have a lucidity to-do list. I was in a small but immaculately decorated house. The decor was quite old and out of style despite looking very expensive; I distinctly remember a fringed lamp on a small table next to an armchair. It lit the small room adequately, but dimmer than I normally like. The walls were ornately decorated with fancy wallpaper. I walked into the next room, which was like a dining area attached to a porch. It was nighttime, and the screens of the porch kept out the bugs. There was a young boy there with crayons and shelves of art pencils, and his mother explained to me that he wasn't taking well to his art classes. I talked to him about what he likes to draw, and I told him that I also took art classes when I was in school. Then he started to become interested in all his cool art tools. The mother thanked me for kindling his interest and asked me if I'd spend more time with him, so I made a hollow promise to drop in sometime. (I remember feeling uncomfortable because the mother didn't know I was gay. I didn't want her to turn on me later when she finds that out and then decides I'm just not the role model she wants for her son.) She went on to explain that her mother still haunted the house, and that's why it was so dreary and so old. I headed into the previous room to make my way toward the front door, and the old woman appeared near the table. She was impossibly tall, and her gray hair brushed the ceiling. She had a round, white face like a Tim Burton character from the Nightmare Before Christmas. I reached up to put my hands on her cheeks as I told her, "You need to let these people live their lives." She smiled a toothy, jack-o-lantern grin and vanished, her face collapsing between my hands as she went. With her disappearance, all the furnishings transformed into bright, childish colors. The boy came rushing in, delighted to discover that everything was now made of candy. I licked the blue, sugar-coated mantel on the wall of the front room just to verify, and indeed, it was all candy.

My next dream was incredibly fun. I was flying awkwardly, as I ALWAYS do in my flying dreams. I can never fly straight, I have little control over where I land, and I usually go way too fast. There was a pitched battle raging nearby against a fort high on a dusty hill that was occupied by Mexicans, all of them dressed as if they had just conquered the Alamo. The attackers appeared to be American military from World War II, but they were dressed in the non-battlefield uniforms that they might wear while comfortable on base. My flight path swung way out to my right before I managed to come around and land near the American troops. No one was taking the battle too seriously on either side, and the atmosphere was more like a football game than an actual war. The Americans asked me for a favor: since I could fly, would I deliver a stack of uniforms to the Mexicans as a "gift?" In my dream mind, I thought, "How do they expect them to fall for this? They pulled the same thing last year!" The uniforms had been deliberately soaked in wet fecal matter and then dried. The feces had been strategically placed to look like sweat stains around the collars and armpits. For some reason, the Americans were confident the Mexicans would actually don the uniforms after mistakenly thinking they were historical and valuable. I flew the uniforms up to the Mexicans and then returned down the hill. Before long, Mexicans began to appear on the adobe walls wearing the shitty uniforms, and the Americans just laughed and laughed. I grew a little tired of the humiliation of the Mexicans, so I decided to put an end to all this. For the first time that I can ever remember in a dream, I stretched out my arms and successfully controlled my flight! I flew into the fort and landed just like Superman. My feet came down slowly enough, yet the force of my landing shook the whole fort, just as I had intended it to. A Mexican came charging at me with a sword, and suddenly I was holding a flaming Thor hammer, which I struck him with. The blow literally transformed him into a large wicker basket, which disappeared with a small white spark as it struck a nearby adobe wall. I turned to the Mexican general and pointed at him as I said, "Don't challenge me! I am way more powerful than any of your weapons!" I could see my arm as I pointed at him, and I noticed that I was now dressed in the latest Superman costume. The Mexicans put down their weapons and I flew off.

I was becoming a little lucid again, and I knew that this controlled flight was a rare thing for me. I saw a news crew on the ground in a parking lot, and I flew in for a landing near the camera. As I landed perfectly, I could feel the awesomeness of my power and invincibility, as if I had to be careful not to crack the pavement. I heard the male reporter say, "Superman just landed, and we'll try to talk to him a little bit later about what just happened up at the fort." I was surprised at first that no one seemed all that happy to see me, and then I had a false memory of putting another Superman in charge to fill in for me whenever I'm not dreaming. I saw him standing not all that far off, and I could see that he was a little drunk. I super-hopped over to him, and I said, "Man, I leave you behind to be Superman in this world while I'm not here to do it, and this is how you represent me?" He looked dejected and then flew off. I followed behind to see where he was going. We came over some mountains, and I noticed that we were now in some kind of a far-off future. There were MASSIVE bridges, taller than anything that exists now, loaded down with about twenty lanes of cars moving in each direction. I could see huge buildings of odd shapes in the distance, jutting up beyond a bank of fog or low clouds, which were pink in the light of the sun that was rising to my right. Suddenly there was a rapidly approaching shower of something like salt pouring down in the distance. Everything that the salt touched began to crumble and fall, and I somehow knew that this was an alien attack against Earth. The Superman ahead of me turned his head back toward me and shouted, "We've got to help these people!" I replied "There's nothing we can do!" I couldn't think of any way to bring my awesome powers to bear against this threat. He said, "Yes there is!" and he flew down under the huge bridge we were flying along just as the shower overtook us and the bridge began to fall. I did the same one span behind. I saw him catch an enormous section of bridge, and I looked up to see three large sections falling rapidly toward me, each one the size of a skyscraper. I said to myself, "This is going to suck." I caught the piece in the middle, and it smacked my palms painfully hard. To my surprise, the other two pieces froze in mid-air as if I had Jedi powers to hold them all at once. Don't ask me why, but I tossed the three bridge sections away and then flew back to the previous span, which was now coming down also. I braced myself for the catch, and this one hurt even more than the last one. As I set the section down, I thought to myself, "I can't keep doing this."

I think that's about where I woke up. Anyway, it's the last thing I remember.

Night before last: I dreamed I was in Louisiana for some reason in a place that didn't have a lot of dry land. In the dry spots, there were houses and a few old, rusted campers and vehicles. I had to swim and wade through neck-deep water to reach wherever it was I was going. I got to my destination and turned around to realize that the water I had just come through is full of alligators, and I'm lucky I didn't get eaten. Now I don't know how I'm going to get back.

New dream: Extremely vivid, though I can't recall much of it. I was visiting a distant cousin in Utah (never been there). Her home is next to a beautiful mountain. I stick my head out her back door and am wowed by what I see. There is no yard - just a gentle, treeless slope leading to the base of the mountain, which, although enormous, isn't too high to climb without equipment. It's not high enough to have a snow cap. It's partially covered in grass, and partially raw dirt with a few small rivulets where water has run down. It reminds me of the Scottish Highlands. Higher up, there are some large boulders and rocky ledges, but I see places where someone could hike around them. I tell my cousin that the next time I come visit, I'm going to walk right out her back door and see how high I can hike up there. Right now it's just beginning to snow a little. If I only I could snap a picture of this image in my mind and post it on the dream journal! There was so much vivid detail, and I remember it clearly.

Last night: Slept very fitfully, which helped me to recall lots of dreams and fragments. (Very tired this morning.) In one, I'm with my fiance in an unfamiliar street scene. It's night time in a very suburban environment containing eateries and grocery stores and such. The Rapture is coming at 11:55 p.m., and somehow we know it. We decide that we want to be having dinner when it occurs, but the only place open is something like a Chic-Fil-A. It's full of people expecting to be raptured, and you can't get inside. The drive-through is also full of cars. I tell my finace that I'm going to kill some time (I have no idea where or doing what) while we wait to see if the crowd dies down. I leave him there. We are both expecting to be raptured. Suddenly I'm back from wherever I went, and the crowd is almost completely gone. There are a few empty cars parked at odd angles, and my fiance is still there waiting for me. Did we miss it? I don't know what time it is now.

In a fragment, I'm in a rush to move to St. Louis. (Years ago in real life, I was in a rush to move from St. Louis to Houston after my job at the time unexpectedly transferred me and gave me less than a week to get set up.) My ex is with me for some reason and seems to be helping me move. I have to run, hurry, hurry! Oh my God where's my rent check? I'll need it as soon as I get there! I find it in a drawer, suddenly remembering that I prepared it in advance. I'm relieved that I had the forethought to do that.

In yet another dream, I'm in a home with lots of hardwood that I've never seen before, but it feels familiar in the dream as if I live there. Night time. It's a nice place, and the bright wood is well-varnished. A dream character that I've never met in real life but feels like a close friend in the dream comes in from outside through French doors that match the wood in the rest of the room. We've been somewhere together earlier in the evevning. He's complaining that almost no one showed up. There were 52 people invited, and if only they'd all turned out, it would have been something else. I don't know exactly what the event was, but I think it involved seeing a movie or attending a play. I'm getting ready for bed now, and I walk to the back of what must be the living room. The back half is actually a hospital room, and there's an old man in a hospital bed. Somehow he's my roommate in this fusion of hospital and residential home. He can't walk, and his feet are lost in a dark alcove built over part of the reclining bed that he's lying in. He asks me to help him check his foot. He tells me there's a small rechargeable light mounted on the wall just inside the alcove, and I pick it up to shine it on his foot for him, which he lifts up to see better. Parts of it are black. Other parts are oozing blood. It's about what he expected to see. Suddenly I feel a drop of blood land on my arm, and I'm quietly horrified. I move quickly to wipe it off with a nearby towel and hope that the man doesn't notice, as I'm afraid he'll be offended by this for some reason. I'm uncharacteristically rude with him, as I really don't want to be burdened by needs that would be better attended by the hospital staff.

I dreamed that I was at work (not quite where I actually work or what I actually do), and an employee of mine was waiting after work for someone to pick her up. She looked a lot like "Precious" from the movie, but not quite as large. I casually asked her why she didn't just take the bus home, and she said she couldn't afford the fare. So I offered her a ride.

Unfortunately, I took a left turn on a major street instead of a right and got lost. Mistakenly thinking that I had a protected turn signal that I didn't actually have, I ended up turning through oncoming traffic and nearly having a wreck. The employee told me that since I turned wrong, she didn't know how to get to her apartment from this way. I took the next left turn I could find so as not to go too far in the wrong direction, and I found myself driving through a horribly poor section of the city that doesn't actually exist in real life. There were no lane markings painted on the streets, and there were no curbs. Everything was covered in dust, and you could scarcely tell where the street ended and the sidewalk began. The detail here was amazing (I use that word a lot to describe dreams, but I often find the detail of them amazing). The buildings were all multi-story concrete construction with balconies, and I commented out loud, "This looks just like Mexico." I could see some familair signs for Burger King and McDonalds sticking up in the distance, and I figured that if we continued toward them, the employee would suddenly realize "I know where we are now!"

I asked "Precious" to put her address into her GPS so we could get directions, but when she pulled out a flip phone, I realized she didn't have a GPS application. I asked her what the address was, and she replied, "423 Ed Vaughn Rd." I've never heard of such a street name. I pulled out my iPhone and dictated the street address to Siri, but she kept giving me directions to other streets that sounded nothing like what I was trying to say. "Give me directions to 423 Ed Vaughn Rd." "Getting directions to 423 Elizabeth Rd." I nearly had several more wrecks while trying to program Siri. Finally, I came to another traffic light and stopped in the left turn lane, which had a red light. I typed in "423 Ed Vaughn Rd" and nothing came up. I asked the employee if she was sure that was her address, and she said, "That's not how you spell it." She pulled out her flip phone and typed it as a text message so I could read it: "423 Ed Vin Rd."

For some reason, I decided now that it would be easier to find her apartment if I abandoned the car. I made my turn and then pulled over. We began to walk down the sidewalk, staring at my map application, and then my mother woke me up with a knock on my bedroom door.

I googled "Ed Vin" to see if it meant anything (it was a French pronunciation in my dream, which was why I confused it with "Ed Vaughn." I didn't find anything at all other than a few Facebook profiles under that name.

When I woke up this morning, I almost didn't remember anything more than an odd mix of emotion. Then, within a minute or so as I focused on that feeling, my dreams came flooding back to me.

I was outside on a city street, under a well-constructed awning made of marble. I watched some clouds twist into the most amazing funnel shapes and then descend rapidly into the street. I felt safe behind a large, square stone pillar, so I didn't run. In fact, I pulled out my cell phone to take video as the tornado formed in front of me in the street. Unfortunately, it quickly dissipated as it unwound in ever direction, and I suddenly realized it was actually some sort of inter-dimensional portal. A creature like Godzilla was coming through.

Now suddenly I was in a foolish place to be, and Godzilla was looking right at me. I ran around behind the building, suddenly jealous of everyone who was safely inside off the streets. But then I heard him smashing his way through buildings to get to where he had seen me run, and I knew that being inside wouldn't help me at all anyway.

The monster came around the block where he was able to spot me again, but there were a few other people, also frantically looking for shelter, so I don't think he was immediately focused on eating me. I remember thinking, "What good does it do to hide, the damn thing can smell us!" I managed to get into the back of an ethnic grocery store of some sort, and after I passed through the loading dock area into the actual store, I felt safe enough to shop for exotic produce, and I forgot about the monster. I had one very brief moment of lucidity when I pulled my camera out to see if I good video of the inter-dimensional portal. It was a perfect reproduction taken at a perfect angle and a perfect view, and I remember thinking, "I didn't know you could record dream material at such high quality!" But that was my only lucid thought, and it wasn't completely lucid at that.


I had another, briefer dream in which I was soaking some large dolls in a zipper bag full of breast milk. For some reason, the breast milk had the consistency of sour cream, and I was disgusted by this task. That's all I remember about that dream, aside from the fact that it evoked memories of my grandmother and her home. I think they were her dolls (she had a collection in life), and I think the dream was set in an inaccurate reproduction of a room in her house.