primeian

I'm just gonna get right to the point, I'm gonna spend some time catching up and putting everything from my notebook dream journal (written with pen) onto this online one. So, yeah. And also, some of this might scare you. I got used to it and for that I payed the price.

Part one (I call this one the God complex):
I don't know how I got here, but I'm in some kind of jungle. It's night time and there's some scary noises I can hear. I start running to find some kind of shelter. I can't find a good place so stop where I'll be safe, so I just keep running. Eventually, I hear something move close by. I turn around and see something rustle in the bushes. I keep running. Eventually, the becomes daytime. I'm still running. I'm getting a bit of an adrenaline rush. There's that fear factor I can feel in my gut also. Eventually, I slow down, but I'm still scared for my life. I start thinking about the dream itself and wondering if it's a dream at all. Then, I get to thinking if it'll ever end. If I'll ever see my friends or family again. About middleschool, and highschool, and if I'll ever get back. I think about my friends, and about the times I've spent with them. I start running faster. That fear factor is playing up again. After a little while, it's night time again. Time to look for the shelter that I'll never find. I don't know what it is, but I can feel something watching, like its been there the whole time. I start seeing pairs of red, glowing eyes watching me. No matter how fast I run, they're still there. After a while, it's day time again. And it all happens over, and over, and over, and over. As it goes I miss my friends more, and more, and more, and more, and more until it's a goddamned knife in my back, like its pulling me down. Some time later, I see something. Something big and bright. I walk closer and eventually I see a body of water, the sun reflecting off of it. Just below the horizon are some docks, next to what looks like an oil rig at the center of the body of water. My heart skips a beat, and I'm grateful there's a sig of people. A couple minutes later, I see a few of my friends. I run up and hug them, tell them how fucked up everything was, and they just say "Hey Ian how ya doing?". I know something's wrong, but I don't wanna believe it. All I wanna believe is that it'll all end. Anyways, they pull up their raft, we all climb on, and start moving out to the oil rig. Once we get there, I'm stunned. There's all of my friends, my family, everyone. People from school that I didn't even know that well. It's like a party. There's music, there's dancing. A couple of girls even gave me their phone number. I don't care. I'm just glad to see all of them. To know they're there with me. A little while later, the sun starts setting. I'm leaning on a railing, looking at the horizon where there isn't any land ahead (if you imagine it like a cove, where to the north is the docks and a small village, to the west and south is the jungle, and to the east is a long river that opens up to an ocean). I'm trying to absorb everything. Let it all sink in. But then I notice something. To the east, where the cove opens up to an ocean, the water starts swaying. Eventually, I see a huge wave (gigantic. unbelievably enormous. like it's the end of the world). I start shouting, trying to get everyone to run, but they tell me I'm crazy. They tell me to just relax. And then, once the wave is an eighth of a mile away, they start evacuating, telling every one to go into the hole (you know, like a submarine hole, like a shelter room). They start telling everyone to get in there. (and this is where the endgame hits. the climax. where i know theres no god and if there were, he'd be not a god, but Lucifer himself). I climb into the shelter room. Everything inside looks like the inside of a submarine (metal walls, floor, spinney-wheel kind of door). Theres a few other people there. My parents, the girl I love (who just thinks I might have a crush on her), my best friend, etc. Then it hits. People are still screaming "what do we do?!" when it does. The blast shuts the metal door, and I start crying. Because the people outside didn't make it. But the door gets blown open and we all get sucked out. Eventually, the water level drops back down I get up. There's still puddles of water everywhere. And the bodies, too. Bodies everywhere. My friends, family everyone. A couple people are still alive, but exactly when I get there and touch them, and let them know I'm there, their skin turns soft and pale, and their bodies turn to sand and water. The bodies all turn to sand and water. I find my mom and dad. They're still breathing. I start crying. I know they're gonna leave soon, but I don't want them to go. I reach over and hug them tight, to let them know I'll always love them. Then they melt. To sand and water. They all melt down, everyone. Only when I touch them. The girl I love, my best friend, and its ALL MY FAULT. Then I wake up. This is how I know there's no fucking god. No fucking person that has the slightest bit of good in them would ever make me go through that. If they would, they deserve to burn in hell, the get their insides torn out. Dream or not, that's my scar, and it drove me insane. And everytime I think about it, about what I went through I start crying. I just wish it never happens again as a dream, and that it never happens for real.