lucid

I’m glad my quick-as-lightning typing isn’t waking up my friend who is passed out next to me, but I figure that being up at 3am unable to sleep due to a friggin’ head cold is as good an excuse as any to type out my weird ass lucid experience.

I think a large part that may have contributed to my dream has been the stressful circumstances I went through in the months prior. I did type all of them out at one point, but then the site decided to log me out and I lost about a half hour worth of typing and I really can’t be bothered to retype what was lost as this is going to be one hell of a long ass Journal as is. But this dream was just so effing weird..

I’m one of these lucky people who dream frequently; when I was much younger, three or four times a week I’d be crawling into my parents bed because I’d have had a nightmare, and almost every other night I would have had a dream of some sort. I so occasionally go through dry spells where I don’t remember dreams, but I have a fantastically over active imagination and have had some fantastic and terrifying experiences to do with sleep.

I’ve experienced a false awakening once before this. I have also suffered from sleep paralysis before and been totally conscious through the whole experience. I even did the whole Kill Bill “wiggle your big toe” drama of trying to move again. That was one of the most horrible experiences I’ve gone through, waking up and being paralysed. Very uncool, but thankfully it only lasted perhaps a minute, even though it felt longer.

Both these experiences happened in the bedroom of my Dad’s house; I grew up in the same house for eighteen years, and was in the same bedroom for ten of those years. In that room, there’s a 60cm by 60cm closet, and so happens to be the setting for my lucid dream. I was in that bedroom with three other people who were meant to be my friends (thinking back I haven’t a clue who they actually were) and the room was perfect from what I could tell. I opened the door to my closet and there was a huge three bedroom apartment inside. As soon as I saw it, I though “this isn’t right…” So I take a step back and look up, and sure enough there is a number 3 on top of the door frame, with 2 and 1 either side of it. The colour of the wall around the door frame has changed also, and I can sense that instead of my reasonably spacious room I’m now in a much narrower space.

It was at this point where I thought “this must be a lucid dream!” And suddenly everything starts to pitch and shift around me as if I was in the middle of a vortex with the contents of the dream draining from around me. Vertigo accompanied this sensation, and so I closed my eyes really tight and kind of focused on staying asleep while not focusing on anything in particular at the same time. No clue how it worked, but when I opened my eyes I was now in a shopping mall, with complete awareness that this was still a dream.

This shopping mall was open planned and packed full of people; kind of like a Wal-Mart. All four walls were made of glass and I could see outside into a concrete square of sorts. Something quite interesting about the mall was that it was rotating slowly. Anyway, I started to wander amongst the clothes section, when I decided I would test my capabilities in this new found area of my subconscious, and decided that I wanted classical music to play.

I never specified a composer, and I don’t believe I recognized the piece of music that played, but symphony music filled the mall. This got me quite excited, and thinking along the lines of “YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!” and so I decided I wanted to find a certain friend of mine in this wonder-mall. I start to bob and weave through the punters in the mall when I see this kid coming towards me. He must have been only12 or 13, because he was about a head shorter than I and looked about that age. I don’t know why I clocked him, but as he got closer to me, he started to get taller and taller, until he was more than a head taller than I and right in front of me. I was then boxed in by two more tall 12/13 year olds. I asked them “what are you doing?” and the one who I specifically noticed coming towards me replied “we’re protecting you”. “From who?” I probed; “From Him.” And the boy pointed towards the far side of the mall.

There was a figure there, around average height for a man, dressed in an undertaker’s suit complete with shiny black shoes, white shirt and a black bowtie. His skin however, was a deep burgundy colour, and looked as dry as a desert floor, with deep, dark cracks seeping a dark substance. His hands were a big larger than a man’s, with black talon like nails. He had dark, dark eyes (I don’t want to say black as I was too far away) and deep brown hair a few inches long swept back from his forehead. The two most noticeable things about him though, were the goats’ horns growing out and back from his hair line, and the content grin showing off bright white teeth. I can only compare the expression to that of a cat that has cornered a mouse.

I was terrified, and experiences a good few moments of this terror before I woke up. I was in my Dad’s bed, in his bedroom and a sudden wash of relief swept over me. It wasn’t allowed to last, though, as again I don’t think even a minute passed till I heard a voice saying “found you!” and all of a sudden there was a demon sitting either side of me. I wish I could describe these demons, but their form has slipped from my memory, and again I jolted awake.

I was in my friends bed, lying on my stomach, trying to open my eyes, but they were so heavy and cloudy, and no matter how I blinked I couldn’t clean my vision. There was an ungodly screaming coming from my phone (I have a Blackberry Torch), so I reached out with leaded arms and fumbled my phone from the bedside table. It was exceptionally low on battery, and flashing red (which it doesn’t do when it’s low on battery), and was connected to a contact called “Axe” (I have no contact called Axe in my phone). I hung up the phone but without even ringing it automatically connected back to this “Axe” and the screaming continued. No matter how many times I hung up it would just connect straight back and the screaming would flood the room. I felt as if there was something heavy on top of me weighing me down, and I think it was a mirror as through my blurred vision if I looked up slightly and moved an arm I could see something mimicking my movements. I pushed this heavy object off me but I was exhausted from doing so, and then perspective changed to a birds’ eye view and I saw two demons creeping in through the window. Again, the forms of these demons escapes my memory, but I woke up again, still in my friends’ bed, and still on my front.

I could tell I was awake this time, and I was greatly stressed and exhausted from the exertion of these dreams. I rolled over onto my back and closed my eyes, and within seconds there were two demon silhouetted against a red background. Long, skeletal beings, as though each part of their bodies had been stretched like putty. I snapped my eyes open and called a Wiccan friend of mine at that point and told him all of what had transpired. He put it down to stress, and part of me agrees with him; I’ve been reading up on lucid dreaming and I understand that sleep paralysis can happen after lucid dreaming, and that night terrors also occur during sleep paralysis. I just can’t get past the horned figure in the undertaker suit, as I was acutely aware that he was the Devil. I also find it very disturbing how I had to wake up twice from my lucid dream in order to actually be “awake”.

I passed out about an hour from exhaustion about an hour after all this happened, and didn’t dream that day or night. I’ve been very hesitant to try lucid dreaming again since this experience, however.