SquillTwin

Garret, my brother and I are setting the table when Garret says that there's going to be a break-in!!!

I run to the door just in time for it to start opening. "F*** off!!!" I scream as I shut the door with a bang. I jam a stool into the door for good measure, then leave to call 9-1-1. Garret and my brother take my place.

They don't last long. The phone is ringing in my ear and the thugs (there were three) rush in when I wake up.

In my living room, there are a bunch of flat blue cards on the ground. Upon closer inspection, they are cutouts of old nickelodeon cartoon characters. My mom is sitting in a nearby chair. She watches me, and I suddenly understand that these are supposed to be some sort of gift.

Yippee skippee, mom.

I start rifling through the cards, and my mom gets that I don't really like them. She asks, "What's wrong with them?"

"Crap," I think. "You're treading on thin ice here, William." "Ummm, what are they supposed to be?" I ask.

"They are collector's items!" She says. "They will-"

Suddenly my choir director, Nina (see Music is Life) bursts through the door, hands me a box of Ritz crackers, says, "Here you go!" then runs out.

I put the crackers in the cupboard and head further into the kitchen. There are four girls sitting on the floor. The have what looks like spaghetti sauce all over their mouths. "What have you been eating?" I ask.

The all reply, "Miranda."

WTF?????

I grab one of my blue cartoon cards and open it. I pour out some sort of spanish rice on my green plate. There is only one bean in the whole thing.

One girl cries, "Ew! That's just starch and beans!"

I "wake up." Everything is just a little too dark, so I do a RC. Sure enough, I'm dreaming. "Cool! " I think. I proceed to say, "Clarity now!"

Instead of popping into focus, my dream (yes the dream) begins to shake. With the shaking comes an intense drowsiness.

"WTF?" I think. I do another RC. Yup. Dreaming 100%.

But, something about this dream feels very off. This feeling is very weird, it wasn't like something inside the dream was off, but something about the dream. I knew I was dreaming, I knew I was actually just lying in bed, I knew I could do anything, but there was something. That something scared me.

I realize that I have to change the dream scene. Fast.

I think of a beautiful, glowing, blue underground palace. With this in mind, I spin around.

Instead of exploring an amazing palace, I wake up. I do a RC. Yup. Awake.

Katara (from Avatar) and Mercer Frey (from Skyrim) are arguing. Mercer wants Katara to go on a mission, but she doesn't trust him. She stomps away angrily.

The next day, Mercer visits her camp. He bribes her with a new weapon: The 250-damage battle-axe! "WOW!" She says. " I've always wanted to see one of those things!"

The Skyrim inventory pops into my vision, and the battle-axe appears in my hand. I run around flailing the weapon randomly.

I am playing Minecraft. Well, living it, not playing it. I am literally inside the world. I think suddenly, "Duh, I'm dreaming ." I plug my nose to make sure of this. Yup!

I don't feel any different. No "pop" of clarity. No sense of freedom. No excitement. Nothing. My sense of touch doesn't even work.

I get up off the ground and fly. This is easy, seeing as flying is a natural thing in Minecraft. But again, I don't feel any exhilaration in the act of flying...

I remembered people saying it was fun doing math inside a dream so I try that out. I end up saying, "2,4,6,8. Hm."

Not very fun.

As I'm flying around, I try and manipulate the generation of the world. I try making mountains form. Nope. Didn't work. I see a river and dive in, thinking about performing a RC. I dive underwater, and breathe. Yup, still dreaming.

I try twirling around to change the dream scene. (Who wants to dream about Minecraft?) I twirl around, and end up in another Minecraft world. I try about 5 times, and end up losing my lucidity.

On the last try, I end up sitting at my house in front of the fireplace, reading a magazine. "Hey," I think. "I could use this in my dreams!"

I wake up.

How lame.