lucid

Well, diseases have been a common theme in my dreams. In the past, it was generally cancer and/or some type of random organ failure. This dream, the medical nightmare involved me having aids. Basically, I was contacted by a teacher from community college, where I went early in my college career. The teacher said that an HIV test had been run on all of the students. Everyone else was negative she said, except me, and that I had aids. Hearing this news I was in utter disbelief. I was just terrified about the whole thing and what the prognosis was going to be. I had little knowledge of the disease, and I wondered how I could have gotten it. I ended up going to a doctor's office that was supposed to be some sort of clinic for people that were suffering from aids. In the office, I was pretty much scared out of my mind, thinking that the doctor may give me a grim prognosis. However, I found it equally mysterious why I had it. It seemed as though there was simply no means of having contracted it. My mind began to go to horrible scenarios of that I could have been taken advantage of by some mysterious person and had no recollection of it, just the stuff of nightmares...... because that literally was what it was, although I didn't know it, yet.

Dream Two------extension of dream one, with subtle wakefulness in between where I was still confused and frightened by the previous dream

After leaving the clinic, I was on the street of my hometown. I was going to walk up the street at night through the questionable neighborhood to see my parents to pick me up. Oddly enough, the whole aids thing just kind of dropped, which made no sense as I was naturally terrified about the whole thing. I mean, I guess I remembered it, I just wasn't thinking about it. Then, my Mom was in this shop where she was baking. However, upstairs supposedly there was some guy in there that could kill me. It was dark and mysterious, and people were saying not to go in there that the guy could kill me. However, I couldn't see him. At this point, I began to develop very low level insight that I was dreaming and the whole thing became much less scary. Then, I decided to leave and call a girl from where I went to college that ditched me, as I knew I was dreaming. She basically just gave me the brush in the dream, so I just kept on walking, then I woke up.

When I woke up from this dream it really scared me with the aids part of the dream. The aids thing couldn't be possible in real life, as I haven't done anything that's risky along those lines. However, the dream first had me so shook up that I just wondered if maybe somehow I did or that I could have some other kind of horrible disease. Then, after a few minutes passed, I realized that it was merely a dream and I didn't have any kind of disease. I have to say that this dream honestly gave me a lot more empathy for people that actually have received that diagnosis and had to deal with that experience.

- I was with an old friend that I had a falling out with as a teenager. Someone began making fun of him for having a small penis, and he was deeply offended at it. He started getting depressed about it. We hadn't gotten along, and he kept being a complete jerk about it, mocking and teasing him. I had no issue with this guy making fun of him about that, and I thought it was good. I told my Mom about what happened. She had a very different view of it. She said that if it was me that was making fun of him, she wouldn't still be talking to me now. She said she'd have abandoned me and had nothing to do with me. I found this outrageous, but she stood strong in this, insisting that she would have had nothing to do with me and cut me out of her life.

- I went back to college, but it was just for a brief time. I walked around for a bit, excited about things. My parents were following me around, but I had the option to just go. I didn't though, until later on. Then, I began to realize this was merely a dream. I found some thing there that weren't there in real life, and I knew it was a dream. I went to this place where there were several girls from there. I attempted to have sex in this lucid dream, but my Mom was standing around...... and obviously the dream basically didn't let me, as she was just standing around. Later on, I wasn't really as lucid anymore. I was going to go to a symposium for something at school. A girl that I really liked from there was there. However, she had ditched me in real life. In this dream, I didn't even get a chance to talk to her, although other people were talking to her. Later on, there was a demon that was chasing me. Oddly enough, the energy of me began to shift from the demon and back. It was odd, like a cycle of possession and non-possession. At times, "I" was the demon. At other times, and then the demon became what used to be me. It was very strange, yet it almost illustrated that there was no demon. Instead, the demon always was what was different. Still, this was a very frightening dream.