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    Fragment of Dreams

    1. Summary - March 2016

      by , 04-11-2016 at 10:21 AM
      Some troubling self-esteem dreams this month. I was gripped with the notion that my friends despised me. Despite knowing that they were just dreams, I was still emotionally affected by it. Thankfully, by the end of the month, I had worked through this issue. A lot of hypnagogia this month as well. It's been interesting to say the least.

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      Some strange, oily hypnagogia. I see intense but limited visuals. A painted white spiral staircase. An empty apartment room with french windows, people standing on the patio beyond. I am gaining traction, but I get the sense that I am positing my awareness inside another person. He moves without my guidance, beginning to stumble, perhaps due to my influence. He turns and falls to the ground, reaching a hand out hoping to catch himself. I hear one of his associates call his name, and then again but closer and far louder. It is so sharp that it awakens me completely.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I re-attempt a lucid technique that I had tried once before. As I lay awaiting sleep, I begin to count.
      "1, I am dreaming. 2, I am dreaming."
      As I do so, hypnagogic voices begin to intrude. They sigh and sound disappointed, and then begin the try to interrupt my counting. Some speaking over the top of me, others counting backwards trying to muddle my continuity. I press on regardless. They are annoying but not hostile.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I dream of a crime scene. A thick-set man enters an underground bar frequented by those with criminal affiliations. It is empty but for the barkeep and his staff. He asks the barkeep to recount the events of the previous night. A young man had become drunk and rowdy. In his inebriated state he had stumbled and fallen, punching a drink off a table by accident. The drink's owner, the man now standing in the bar, had been intoxicated himself. Enrage by the slight, he had instantly drawn his pistol and fired three bullets into the younger man. The barkeep vows not to tell a single other soul about the event.
      The next day I take the tram to work and we pass by a road blocked off by police tape. A man had been murdered in the early hours of the morning, affiliated with the local mob. Three bullets.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am at a supermarket but all the fresh produce looks old and stale. I am offered a punnet of raspberries, but they look rotten. I eat some anyway, and instantly spit them out. They taste sour and foul. The sensation of taste is strong.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      My arms and legs are all tangled and tied up in knots, restricting my movement. I beseech a male friend for help and he assists, untangling my limbs. He pulls a note out of my back pocket, indicating that it may explain the issue. I unfold the note and read it.
      The top line reads; 'You need to quit smoking.'
      It is followed by a single word at the bottom, bracketed as though an after thought, but capitalise for emphasis; '(CUNT)'
      I am so shocked by it that the memory sticks strong in my mind. The next day I begrudgingly decide to quit smoking.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      We are a team of soldiers on a perilous mission to vanquish a great alien intellect within its own metallic domain. Through holes in the floor, we can view the next dangerous stage of our journey. We meet a man who is besieged by the same entity, but he is also caught up in the illusions that it presents. Through the holes, he sees his own home and family. We warn him that he is too close to the being and this is a sign that he is endangered. He deliberates on what to do.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am in the back garden of my grandparent's house, a memory from childhood. My cohesion is low, but the detail is still quite high. I go inside. The house is quiet, but items are left out on the table. The room feels lived in, as though somebody had been here not too long ago. I flip the light switch, and nothing happens. I sigh, miss the lucidity cue, and turn to my left, instantly spying the breaker box. I find it odd that for some reason it is now located in the kitchen. The door is open with only a single fuse switch. I flick it on and the lights spring to life. I turn back around and there is a tall man wearing dark clothes leaning against the sink behind me.
    2. Summary - February 2016

      by , 03-01-2016 at 12:21 PM
      Just weird dream related things from February. I had a number of precognitives as well, but I might put them in their own entry.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      Hypnapompia. A woman is to my left, speaking with energetic curiosity.
      "Your eye, when it glows white, what does that mean?" She asks. I snap awake, and know not how to respond.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am sleeping on the couch in my friend's house. I experience a strong thought several times during the night. I am not dreaming at the time, and the thought wakes me up completely.
      'He is here, now, in my presence, in this room.' I have no recollection of the thoughts preceding this. It is potent enough to spur me to instantly awaken and open my eyes wide, observing the room. Each time, I see nothing out of the ordinary, and return to sleep.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      A surprisingly vivid dream. I am lying in an open-plan apartment. The visuals are acute, but I do not know this place. Sparks fly down from above me. I turn around to look in the top left corner behind me, knowing that there is an entity present, bit my vision is spun back around against my will. I try again, and the visuals are distorted, flipping the room and returning my view to the front. On my third attempt, I can look up, but see nothing except for a hazy invisible aura. I become tired and lean back in my hammock. I feel like I am being drained, all my energy is gone, and I fall down exhausted and hardly able to move. There are kittens beneath me! I need to save them or I'll crush them, but my movement is dragging.
      I am aware of a change afterwards. I know that I have to remember the full sequence of events and I set to reciting them while still in the dream. Suffice it to say, I have since forgotten.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      Manage to hold vibratory hypnagogia for a full hour or so. Lots of weird visuals, but nothing out of the ordinary besides the duration.
      A dream from later that day. I am loaded into a canon on a satellite orbiting high above the Earth's atmosphere. I am fired down a long tube towards the ground. I fall so very far and for so long. I am not sure how to hold my body as I streak through the air. I am very aware of where my limbs are. Eventually I hit the Earth and tumble across the ground. I'm perfectly fine but my equipment is a little damaged.
      "Next time I should remember to deploy my parachute," I say out loud.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I'm outside in a suburban neighbourhood with a real-life friend and his mate. We are smoking, and staring up at the night sky. There are three moons. We think it's very strange, and wonder how the optical illusion could be caused. Shame I missed the lucidity cue.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am with the Sentinel and a number of others. I know they are my protectors. White robes cover their eyes. I am not lucid, and in my office at work. They are discussing something amongst themselves, a metaphysical topic which I do not understand. In my non-lucid state, I seem not to mind. I look out the window and see that the sky is dark with thunderheads, a storm approaches. In the street below, I see the strangest anomaly. A huge thick cloud of a dusty, ochre, gaseous condensation. Thick, black, plasmatic streamers coil within, like electric water waiting to discharge. It is dangerous and very vivid. It passes by beneath us, we go unnoticed. I note that the streets are still dry, and people carry umbrellas but they are closed. I expected it to have left a torrent of rain in its wake and am quite surprised.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I pull on a blue poncho that I am offered and conjure my reflection before me to see how it looks. My head is gone! I laugh, thinking that this is amazing. I tilt my head around, trying to see if my eyes have fallen down the trunk of my neck. A friend approaches, and seems perturbed by my odd behaviour. I exuberantly tell them that my head is missing, but they look confused. I turn back to my reflection and am dismayed to see that everything has returned to normal.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am sleeping on the floor of my friend's room. At some point during one of my dreams, I become aware of a dark presence closing in around me. It slowly tightens its circle, a fear-inducing blackness beyond. I rush around frantically, unsure of what to do. I call on the Sentinel, and I feel his presence appear. He urges me to scream, and so I do, but instead of a cry of fear the most ungodly sound comes out of my throat. It sounds like the wail of a banshee. The sound immediately banishes and drives away the encroaching darkness. I force me eyes open, and in the darkness of the room I see a glowing blue face.
      'It's just an illusion,' I remind myself, and it fades away. But I was not the only one who had bad dreams that night.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I smoked some mugwort for the first time. I had a lot of fairly vivid dreams, and while I did not become lucid, some part of me was aware as though I was. I began practising dream control exercises which I normally would have done while lucid. I teleported around, surprised that it came easily to me. I also attempted to change the colour of a rock to yellow. In the dream, I was convinced I had failed, but when I awoke to record the dream I could only remember the rock ever being yellow, so I suppose it had worked even better than expected.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      Hypnapompia. I am a girl; blue, silver, watery, lunar. I pass into another space and now I am a boy; red, gold, fiery, solar. But I am still the same person.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      Some strange pseudo-sleepwalking. My muscles hurt, so I lie out on the floor of my bedroom. As I fall asleep, it feels as if I fall out of my body and through the floor. No dreams, but after some time, my room mate moves about in the hall and startles me. I open my eyes sitting on the edge of my hammock. I know that I had hurriedly stood up from the floor and moved to the side of the room, but I was definitely not conscious while it happened. It takes me a while to shake the disorientation.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am inside a collection of shops in my hometown. I become lucid, but I have not stabilised well. I stagger about to find some dream characters to harass. I barge into a room, and several people turn to look at me. I begin to speak, but its apparent that I'm not holding onto my lucidity well. It falls away and I wander off to go and rake some leaves.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am with a friend in a bed within the dream. We want to sleep peacefully but I am afraid of the house. As we are lying there, I sight a black mass entering through the door. My friend tries to calm me down, but I begin to panic and awake. I realise that the image is of actual objects in my room, but rotated 90 degrees to the left. As I awake, the visuals pivot to their correct alignment before my eyes. My head had not turned, only the image in my mind. It was very bizarre.
    3. Summary - December 2015

      by , 12-31-2015 at 02:14 PM
      Writing everything out like this in short summaries is very therapeutic. Recurring character is recurring.

      I am drifting over the water. I am dead. I am missing my other body, but what is it? Invisible, impossible, immortal. it is the body which grants me power.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      A single note, at the bottom of one of my journal pages. 'I don't remember why we were in the submarine'.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      Hypnagogia. A single voice on the edge of sleep.
      "Fall back into my tentacles."
      "Excuse me!?" I stammer, but darkness envelops me.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am walking with my brother, advising him about some personal struggles he is having. I get him to a read from a poetry book that he has been assigned for school. I haven't read it, but I'm surprised at how good the content is, and relevant to his problems. I tell him to read one passage a day and meditate on its meaning.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      He's under house arrest. Had we been stealing things? I feel like it must have been for a good cause.
      Eggs! Oh man, I want some eggs. He is quickly forgotten in my pursuit of eggs.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      A man and a woman have kidnapped me, ferreting me away into the nearby forest. They need time to cast their teleportation spell, but a warrior woman has followed us looking for me. I manage to sight her through the trees. She looks exactly like me. Perhaps I should have struggled. The spell is cast and the dream shifts.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I shift, and find myself in a forest. He is here with me, the Sentinel. There isn't a doubt in my mind that it is him. We smile at each other and talk a little, but mostly there is just a silent knowing.
      I have to climb a tree. One of the branches is on an incline and is long, sturdy and straight, but it is broken right up near the trunk. I am small, perhaps it will hold my weight a while, but not for long. He watches me, giving the occasional word of advice. He feels I should abandon that path altogether and climb up the smaller, but more secure network of branches to the side. I think that I can make the best of both.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      "It's 5:70pm," someone says. For some reason, it doesn't strike me as odd.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am walking down a street, but I can empathically sense everything about the occupants of the houses without seeing them. One of my friends arrive, so I tell him all about it, forgetting that it is quite normal for a dream.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      We are soldiers in a five-man squad. Zombies attack. I climb to elevation and use my rifle to pick them off. It does not take us long to dispatch them, but our commanding officer informs us that we cannot move on until we find our final party member who has gone missing during the raid. We look around us but cannot see him. Other squads past by and radio messages are sent out, but nobody knows where he is. I think about what I know of him to try and work out where he could have gone. All I know is that his name is Horse, because he is a horse.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am in a fantasy game world. A quest giver keeps telling me to take a Potion of Patience and sit still for a while. I should have taken their advice.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I'm walking, but my vision and cognition are still very hazy.
      "Sentinel? I wonder if you can hear me," I say.
      "I can always hear you," he replies, a voice in my mind. My attention is piqued.
      "Let me go somewhere quieter away from all these people so we can talk," I say. A nice idea, but I am distracted easily. There are people listening to music, and I dance and sing along, thoroughly enjoying it. When I feel I have spent enough time intruding on their space, I turn around. There is figure concealed by shadows smoking and observing in silence. I thank him for letting me enjoy this time, and move on.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      The kingdom is fleeing at the behest of the Queen. A bushfire approaches and threatens their lives. The young royal advisor frantically suggests that we should check on the Watchers, the entities which look over our kingdom, before we leave in case their loyalty should wander in our absence. I go up to their chamber, overlooking the town. The walls are carved stone and the room is well lit. The door opens before me, bidding me entrance. On a stone plinth sits a thick tome. The Book of Kings! I am excited to see it in person. The Watchers fill the pages with information when they wish to communicate with the royals of the kingdom. My mother may be the Queen, but I am not of royal blood. This is a great honour. I sit down, filled with anticipation. The advisor returns, freaking out that we should become trapped in here by the Watchers and never allowed to leave. I snicker under my breath.
      "Just approach the door and it will open for you," I say aloud. But in my head, I think 'Or rather, they will open it for you'.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I'm taken to a bar by some friends. One by one, people from my past begin to arrive. It feels as if this has been arranged.
      We go outside to observe a ceremony. Hundreds of people are amassed on the banks of a river as a a boat comes through and the ritual begins. Everyone begins to glow red or blue and their abdomens look like interlocking fingers. Each chooses a partner and merges with them, before disappearing and ascending. One boy approaches me, but I ask him to keep his distance. Eventually they all disappear, and only a small number of us are left behind. They will return when the journey is over and they have seen what was intended.
      I seek out an older woman inside the tavern. She is the lover of a wise old Indian man. I ask her about the ceremony, but she does not want to say too much, and I do not want to appear ignorant. She says that the ritual requires the ingestion of a certain mushroom, and that they will return after its effects end. I ask her if she ever joined in the ceremony before, and she tells me that she has not.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      Hypnapompia. My cat is meowing, but it sounds more agitated than normal. My half-dreaming mind translates it into words as I border on the edge of sleep.
      "I'm sorry if I have offended your personality as a lion," she says in my dream.

      Updated 03-26-2016 at 05:05 AM by 89402

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      dream fragment
    4. Summary - November 2015

      by , 12-01-2015 at 05:01 AM
      Some more snippets. Lots of snakes this month.

      I mean to go and visit a friend, but the route to his house is blocked by a swamp of crocodiles. I am with some people who become quite alarmed when they realise that there are snakes right nearby. I am not frightened, and neither is my cat. The snakes are not scared of us. The larger one is a slate-grey colour with dull yellow rosettes along its left flank and steel-blue rosettes along its right. It coils around in front of us to show that it is comfortable in our presence. The second snake is much smaller. Its scales were a rusty red-brown and it had a rattle on the end of its tail.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      Earlier in the dream, I had used my phone to take a photo of someone I had seen. I would do this occasionally in dreams, and even though obviously the camera was fairly useless, it would help to mark a moment to focus my recall on when I awoke. I was walking around in front of the state library in this dream and came across an array of items that looked like they had been abandoned by someone who had come this way before me. There are clothes on the ground, along with an ice-cream tub with only one scoop left. In the tub there is a photo of the tub itself. I shake my head and continue on.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      We're running a con or playing a game, I am not sure which. My friend is trying to impersonate a man he's never met. He's wearing a bright magenta suit. I don't think he's going to be able to pull it off, but I'm keen to watch anyway. Mid-way through our gambit, a person rushes over to us.
      "Wraith! He's an astral wraith!" the person cries. I walk over excitedly.
      "Really? You're an astral wraith?" I don't know what it means, but I'm intrigued. He looks over, an unimpressed expression crossing his face.
      "No, no. You just misheard." He says to me. The dream fades.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I am in my parents' front garden. There is a small green snake here, warming itself in the sun. The visuals are very clear and distinct. Blisters have broken out on its skin and smoke is rising from the wounds. It seems to be doing this intentionally, the warmth of the sun purging the toxins from its body. I reach for my camera, but am suddenly teleported high above the Earth and the scene is lost.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      My friend and I are battling a huge zombie. We all leap through the air towards each other, my friend firing an assault rifle while I swing wildly at the zombie's head with a blackjack. It is taking damage, but not nearly enough. It lunges towards me, coming closer than I would like.
      'I'll stab it in the eye,' I think to myself. Everyone stops mid-air.
      "Woah, dude," my friend says, taken aback.
      "Yeah, that's a little bit excessive," says the zombie. "Calm down."
      I look around at them, uncertain myself. The GM steps in.
      "You've already decided upon your action. Roll damage."

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I dream I am with two of my real life friends, a couple I know. In the dream, they are bickering constantly. I take them outside and sit them down. I haven't done couples counselling before. I begin to talk to them about the issue, but they seem confused. They don't see it as a problem and am unsure why I do. I'm confused myself now, have I missed something?
      The next day in the waking world I catch a tram with them both. They spend the entire tram ride bickering. One is trying to organise something to do together for the other's birthday, but the other is being very tense and resistant. I observe and say nothing.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      "Your ears are full of wax," someone says. I am lying in my hammock, talking to someone over my right shoulder, but I cannot see them. The hammock is full of rocks and they are digging into my back.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      An episode of hypnagogia. I'm lying in my hammock again and hear a voice from over my right shoulder. They are speaking to me.
      "An illusion," I state.
      It's voice sounds like it is smiling. "Glad to know that's how I come across," is it's only reply.
      "Who are you!?" I shout out with some desperation, but there is no response, and the episode fades away into sleep.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      I could see my self clinging to a sinking boat, half-submerged in the ocean. The boat was not mine and it was full of explosives, and yet I clung to it still. A woman towered over the horizon. An explosion went off behind her, as though in the same room, yet I was very small in the world below. She glanced over to check on it. I was angry at her, but I didn't know why. I was plucked from the ocean and rescued. My friends rushed over, attempting to heal me, but I suspected that it had been the woman who was responsible for my safe recovery. I was indebted to her, but felt very conflicted, and didn't even understand why.

      --- --- --- --- ---

      "I'm just going to pay for these in the next room," I tell the man, items scooped up in my arms.
      "Sure," he shrugs, regarding me with absolute confusion. I'm always the craziest DC in my dreams.

      Updated 03-26-2016 at 05:05 AM by 89402

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      dream fragment