false awakening

Monday, June 20th

I. “I’m Leaving All Alone”

This dream felt incredibly real the whole time. Street and store signs were legible, even the labels on bottles. The events in it are even plausible even if not quite likely.

The premise of this dream is that my current gig, supposedly lasting until August but most likely being cancelled in the next week, has ended. I remember a car ride back to Wilmington with some people that I know; I don’t remember who specifically. I am dropped off at a store in Wilmington where I am buying something simple, maybe a bottle of water. I turn around and see S.R, standing at a register but not quite doing anything. I greet her and she looks up at me and her face immediately brightens up. She tells me she’s on her way back home from school and she’s coming through town.

She asks me if I’m walking home, and after brief consideration I realize that I indeed am. She offers me a ride. I remember driving down streets that I thought were familiar at the time but upon waking realize do not exist. We stop at a drive through where the strangest things in the dream happen. First a car at a stoplight hops over a curb and speeds through an intersection, I think to avoid getting into a turning lane. We see this and I laugh, calling it a typical example of how people drive around here. Somebody behind us is yelling at the drive though. I turn around and a dark skinned man is leaning out of his window, yelling “I’m leaving all alone! I’m leaving all alone!” He has a red beanie on.

All of a sudden we’re in another store, and for some reason I’m trying to get a whiteboard for myself and my roommates. I point at a particular one, and exclaim “That’s exactly what I need!” I don’t remember what exactly about it appealed to me. I wake up shortly after this…

To a false awakening.

I am in the bed that I now sleep in, an air mattress under the stairs of an overcrowded house. There is a curtain hung up so I basically have a little fort. Outside I hear C.S talking about the time that I came onto her once. (This is an incident that sticks out in my mind – she turned out to be dating L.P, a fellow musician whom I respect a lot, and am now living in the same house with. He is becoming a closer friend of mine. This incident was awhile ago but I still feel a bit bad about it.) She is talking to somebody else in the living room while I am in my bed behind the curtain; she doesn’t seem to know I’m there. Part of the story she’s telling is true, and some of it did not happen, something about text messages. I listen for a bit and eventually stick my head out from behind the curtain, which surprises her quite a bit, and I say “Hey…look I’m sorry about that.” I don’t remember her reply, only being awake very soon after this.

Sunday, June 19th

(Last night I awoke a bit before 6am with aches in both my arms and legs and no clear dream memories. My living situation for my current gig has me sleeping on an air mattress underneath the stairs of the house so this is affecting my ability to sleep soundly and therefore my dream recall and content. It took me about an hour to get back to sleep and when I did I had a series of brief, relatively harmless dreams that left me with a few memories and impressions. I woke for a short time between them to jot down some keywords.)

I. “Go Home, Please.”

One moment I am awake in my bed trying to get to sleep, all of a sudden I am in a similar bed and sleeping situation, equally cramped, only in the dream I now share this space with my roommate S.B. We have two different mattresses but they are right next to each other. We are in something that looks like a garage and outside there is a group of young girls who are trick-or-treating or something and I have the intuition that they will rush into the door if I open it. I “find my Ipod,” a black nano that I haven’t owned since high school. The screen has come off but I reattach it easily and it has a Resident drawn on the back in silver sharpie. S.B has an Ipod as well. The song playing from his has this line in it, “be my ….” (can’t remember the last word.) As soon as I hear this line, the song playing from my Ipod by a different band says the exact same line. I note the “coincidence” but never become lucid.

It may be because the group outside is becoming loud, but eventually I open the door and they all rush at me. I fight them back and yell “Can you all go home, please?” All of a sudden I begin coughing quite hard and actually taste phlegm in my throat. This coughing wakes me up.

II. “That’s a Cop”

I believe it is still Halloween, or whatever festivities were going on in the previous dream. I am sitting on the porch of an unknown house with some people. One of them is Z the soundman. He is sitting off of the porch, on a lawn. Possibly the same group of small girls has apparently just left from the front of the house and have walked down the street to the right. Suddenly a cop car pulls into the gravel driveway as Z is simultaneously sparking a bowl. He walks over and starts to hand it to me as the officer is walking toward the porch. I start whispering to him “That’s a cop. That’s a cop. That’s a cop” but he does not hear me. Somebody else eventually leans over and he seems to get the message right as the cop approaches.

The cop starts talking to us in the exact same whisper I was using and I cannot easily make out what he’s saying. The gist of it is that the group of girls that just walked down the street have “information” about us. I wake soon after this and begin to write it down; however this turns out to be a false awakening and soon after writing it I wake up for real with most of the memory of the dream erased. It returns later after I focus for a bit.

III. “Skylar”

I am with a group of my friends on a street at night. S.B tells me that a car full of kids, who have mistaken him for somebody they have a vendetta against named Skylar have pulled a gun on him. The car is right in front of us and the people, none of whom I recognize as people I know, are extremely drunk. I tell him to call the driver of the car an idiot or something, and he tells me this is probably a bad thing to call somebody with a gun (good point.)

Suddenly I’ve apparently decided to take this matter into my own hands. I’ve also switched the identity of the gunpoint victim to my friend M.B. He is standing next to me as I approach the car. Beforehand I see them sitting on the hood making immature ‘gay’ jokes. However when I reach the car they’ve all somehow gotten back inside. I yell at the one in the drivers’ seat “THIS IS NOT SKYLAR. HIS NAME IS M.B.” I look over at M.B and at the driver again, their expressions somewhat confuse me – they are both suddenly calm and it’s not until I awaken that I realize the people in the dream know that I have made a mistake in the identity of whoever had the gun pointed at them. I remember that both of their eyes were glowing with incredibly vivid color, M.B’s a magnificent shade of blue and the driver of the car a shining golden brown. I wake up for the remainder of the day right around here.

Wednesday, June 15th

III. Lucid #9: “An Experimental Experiment”

Unknown locale and situation bring me to this point. Memory picks up as I suddenly find myself left alone with A.D. It is quite dark in the room but I can still see. She gives me the smile I haven’t seen in years, we both lean in and begin kissing. The feeling is vividly familiar, I feel a rush and as she thrusts her waist against me I come almost instantly. The orgasm in the dream is very intense. Suddenly her shirt is off and I can see that my sticky fluid has gotten on her chest. I start thinking about what to do about that and hoping she won’t notice that I’ve blown it this early. To my surprise she begins telling me how sexy she thinks cum and blood and snot are; how she wants to be covered in it. She talks to me more vulgar than she ever did when we were together in physical reality, telling me to fuck the shit out of her etc over and over again. She puts my penis between her breasts, expecting me to do something rough. Surprised and upset, I stop what I’m doing and almost begin crying; there is none of the love and tenderness there used to be, only a nymphomaniac type hunger for obscene sexual gratification. She responds to this by walking over to another man who is suddenly now in the room and fellating him emphatically. I don’t feel particularly jealous, only slightly awkward about being in my first threesome and it being with another man, and it being with my ex lover. She cares nothing for this. She briefly knocks our dicks together and begins walking away.

I find myself and the unknown man following her through some woods, with many broken down amusement park rides randomly scattered in the trees. She tells me that we’re going to go “walk on the rides.” I see she now has some shorts on and I am still naked. Unknown voices soon begin telling me how this is an “experimental experiment” to get herself alone with me. However as we come to the bottom of a hill, Batman and Robin come dashing out from behind something and I run from them on sight. A more menacing voice tells me that this is actually an “experimental experiment” to get me to leave, which I do.

Next I remember I find my way back to a large room filled with bleachers of different species of humanoid spectators with many different colors of flesh and facial features. Everybody seems afraid, suddenly A.D comes running back in and throws herself into the arms of yet another man, yet again unfamiliar but I do remember him having short blond hair and sideburns. They begin kissing each other hard.

I wake from this soon after, only for a second with a T-shirt over my physical eyes so I awake to complete darkness. Falling back asleep a moment later, I drop back into the dream, this time fully Lucid. There are wide, elaborately decorated hallways back to the room I intuitively know contains her and all the spectators, and some people on benches observe me. The walls are purple or blue and bejeweled in spots. I decide (quite impulsively) to try to fly into this room and confront her. I focus on the doorway and try to superman-fly over there. I had been quite unprepared to become lucid again. I make it not quite halfway to the door before the dream dissolves into yet another false awakening, I am suddenly being led down very narrow, dank and bizarre looking corridors by hooded figures that are short and hunched over. Their heads are covered and their faces are not visible. The entire landscape is made up of discs piled one on another, getting smaller toward the top forming pancake-like pyramids. I see that the path I’m on continues far upward and I can see another place to land high above me. I decide to attempt to fly, again, and this time I don’t recall even making it off the ground.

I wake up to find that when I had an orgasm in the dream I also had one in physical reality and I will have to clean myself off. I am now feeling as if this was some sort of test, which I have inarguably failed.

Wednesday, June 15th

II. “We Know Each Other”

Yet another party dream, at a house that I do not believe exists. I am decently sure that my parents are sleeping upstairs as this goes on, and at certain points I become concerned about the level of noise and the amount of people – evidently it’s a party I’m running in a house that I live in.

I do not remember the chronology, but I can go by location. Out on the porch there was a joint passed to me that a few other people had been smoking, and later on I have one of my own that I return the favor with by passing back to them (a small group of girls that I think exist physically). At another point I become upset, specifically I think at Sean, about the amount of beer cans that are strewn about the porch floor. I begin picking them up and throwing them away, emptying out the soldiers. I have thoughts about abandoning the party and going to bed as I often do when faced with these situations.

Inside: I walk into a room and see K.G on the couch. We recognize each other and I give him a hug, genuinely glad to see him. After that I see E.H sitting on another seat and he is glad to see me too. He tells me I have a cool alarm clock in my room, and motions to a nearby downstairs bedroom. I tell him it is actually S.B's room and intuitively know this – also a picture of the alarm clock that S.B owns (in the dream, not physically) appears in my head. It is tall and cylindrical and the time scrolls across it. As he begins talking to me more he starts to shake nervously, as does another person, identity now forgotten, sitting to his left. Somebody I do not recognize walks by laughing and comments on how funny it is watching us attempt to communicate.

I am sure this is the last thing to happen in this part of the dream – a large group of girls walks past me, consisting I believe of some girls from my high school, the type I could not stand. Their tans are unnaturally dark and their voices high and obnoxious. After that I run into M.C.C and a blond girl who I don’t believe exists but in the dream I know is named Emily. I go to give M.C.C a hug but she seems nervous. I say to her reassuringly “We know each other.” She leaves quickly. "Emily", however, proceeds to tell me that she loves me, we are soulmates, etc and at this point I am incredulous and the scene begins dissolving.

Thinking I have woken up, I begin thinking about writing this dream down. However it is a false awakening and I am in another unknown place. I believe the walls are all glass windows. I finally decide, for some reason, to write on something that looks like S.B's couch/beirut table. Noticing that it’s too big, I decide to break it down. I’m suddenly outside and it’s stilted on either end, the middle over open air. I hit it with something to break it in half. It does, but I look over and I believe Z.A is looking at me disapprovingly; I am doing this in an unsafe way. I keep taking the halves and trying to break them down the middle again and as I’m doing this the form of the object continually changes. By the time he comes over and starts telling me how to do it I am looking at a hollow green thin plastic piano. I wake up right around here.