Dragging my Mind Over the Gap Between Is's

Monday, June 20th

I. “I’m Leaving All Alone”

This dream felt incredibly real the whole time. Street and store signs were legible, even the labels on bottles. The events in it are even plausible even if not quite likely.

The premise of this dream is that my current gig, supposedly lasting until August but most likely being cancelled in the next week, has ended. I remember a car ride back to Wilmington with some people that I know; I don’t remember who specifically. I am dropped off at a store in Wilmington where I am buying something simple, maybe a bottle of water. I turn around and see S.R, standing at a register but not quite doing anything. I greet her and she looks up at me and her face immediately brightens up. She tells me she’s on her way back home from school and she’s coming through town.

She asks me if I’m walking home, and after brief consideration I realize that I indeed am. She offers me a ride. I remember driving down streets that I thought were familiar at the time but upon waking realize do not exist. We stop at a drive through where the strangest things in the dream happen. First a car at a stoplight hops over a curb and speeds through an intersection, I think to avoid getting into a turning lane. We see this and I laugh, calling it a typical example of how people drive around here. Somebody behind us is yelling at the drive though. I turn around and a dark skinned man is leaning out of his window, yelling “I’m leaving all alone! I’m leaving all alone!” He has a red beanie on.

All of a sudden we’re in another store, and for some reason I’m trying to get a whiteboard for myself and my roommates. I point at a particular one, and exclaim “That’s exactly what I need!” I don’t remember what exactly about it appealed to me. I wake up shortly after this…

To a false awakening.

I am in the bed that I now sleep in, an air mattress under the stairs of an overcrowded house. There is a curtain hung up so I basically have a little fort. Outside I hear C.S talking about the time that I came onto her once. (This is an incident that sticks out in my mind – she turned out to be dating L.P, a fellow musician whom I respect a lot, and am now living in the same house with. He is becoming a closer friend of mine. This incident was awhile ago but I still feel a bit bad about it.) She is talking to somebody else in the living room while I am in my bed behind the curtain; she doesn’t seem to know I’m there. Part of the story she’s telling is true, and some of it did not happen, something about text messages. I listen for a bit and eventually stick my head out from behind the curtain, which surprises her quite a bit, and I say “Hey…look I’m sorry about that.” I don’t remember her reply, only being awake very soon after this.