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last night i had this dream that i was George Harrison of the Beatles, and i could fly. I was dressed in the blue jean suit that he's wearing on the cover of Abbey Road, and flying around above my parents' house. A Beatles tune was playing in the background... I think it was Glass Onion.

I looked down and saw my parents' labrador looking up at me while running down the lawn and trying to take off. He did that a couple of times but could only fly a very short distance before falling back to the ground. In the dream i found this quite hilarious. I looked over and saw Paul McCartney, also flying, and he said "dogs just do that sometimes, man."

i was dreaming about flying a fighter jet (my dream job that will never happen) in a dogfight. I don't know who the enemy was but i was bragging over the radio about how this model fighter i was flying had never been shot down. No sooner did the words leave my mouth than i felt a missile hit.

I heard people laughing at me over the radio, and suddenly i realized i was not in a jet but actually in my living room playing a game about flying jets. The people laughing were other players on the Xbox Live.

one of them told me i had to eject. "How?" i asked. "Call the hotline... they know," was the answer. Suddenly i was on my cell talking to some smartass woman. "...and how did this happen?" she asked in a mocking tone. "I suck at this game, i lost, that's how!" a yelled. "Just chill out and push the triangle button," said she.

i noticed there was a triangle button on the controller that i had never noticed before. I pushed it and suddenly i flew out of my chair, down the hallway, and into the bathroom shower.

what the hell?

had a dream last night that i started a new job (which may actually happen) in a new hospital lab. They tell me the first thing i have to do is go up on the floors and collect specimens.

i get up there and it looks ultra futuristic... the walls are white plastic and the floor is some glossy black material. It looks like a spaceship set on a science fiction show. I get lost and i'm trying to find my way back down to the lab, and i'm worried that i'll make a bad first impression.

suddenly i come upon a patient room where i know i am supposed to go in and draw some blood. I go in and it's nothing like the rest of the hospital: the walls have peeling old wallpaper and it's really dirty.

the patient is just a giant head sitting in a wicker basket. It has a sign on it that reads, "Old Father." A nurse explains that the patient has hydrocephalus. I ask where I'm supposed to draw the blood from and she says, "you're supposed to know that."

odd.

i've had sleep paralysis a handful of times, but there are two instances that really stand out:

the first time it happened to me was (i think) eight years ago... i thought i had died. I woke up on my back in the early morning and couldn't move, couldn't breathe, and i felt like there was an incredible weight pressing down on my entire body. It also felt like there was a pair of hands pressing down on my face, contorting my eyes into slits and exposing my teeth. This made my vision blurry and i could even hear air rushing in and out through my teeth. I began hearing voices... most of them just sounded like people screaming really far away, but one was right in my ear. It was a deep voice that was just yelling all sorts of things at me; "FUCK YOU!" and "I TOLD YOU I'D MAKE YOU SORRY!" and stuff. FYI, I don't believe in demons or anything supernatural, but my half-asleep self did at that moment.

the next time it happened was not long after that. Again, it was early morning and i woke up on my back. There was an old man standing in my doorway... nothing special or weird about him, but he still somehow terrified me beyond all description. It seemed very real. He was wearing a blue flannel shirt and brown pants. Just standing there staring. The whole time i could hear a steady beeping, like a heart monitor or something.

It has happened a few times since, but the first two occasions are the only ones i remember well. They were definitely more intense than any other episodes since then.