My Lucidity Journal

[Jake Kobrin]

Hi, Here I'm going to post what lucid dreams I have. I doubt I will ever post normal dreams because I don't really see the point of posting them... I have had five so far but have only transcribed four. 6/14/09 (almost lucid) This dream was VERY frustrating because it was ridiculously close to being lucid. I don't remember the entire dream scenario but I was talking with someone who I can't recall. I believe I was inside an off-white building with some windows. Within the dream I said, "Wait, I'm dreaming!" and I performed a reality test in which I tried to put my right hand through my left. It worked just as it would in reality, in which my right hand could not go through the left. At first I dismissed the thought and resumed what I was doing but a few moments later I thought, "Wait, no, I really am dreaming!" and I tried it again... and it worked as it would in reality. The person I was talking with thought I had gone mad. This made me VERY frustrated which reckoned a spell of attempts to overcome the reality check. Each time it operated just as it would in the waking realm and each time I grew more and more frustrated. I tried again overcome the threshold of the dream by plugging my nose. In the dream, I should be able to continue to breath while my nose is plugged. This also worked as in reality. With my nerves on end I devised an ultimate attempt. Recollecting on the techniques portrayed within a LD book I am reading, I said to myself, "In dreams, you can fly!" so I began gallivanting through the hallway trying to achieve an unrealistic (in waking) air-time. After failing miserably, and feeling quite embarrassed about it, I finally (wrongly) admitted, "Ok, I'm definitely not dreaming." and continued my dream as normal... I nearly punched myself when I woke up. Lucid Dream #1 - 6/29/09 It was incredibly short lived but was still exhilarating! What is odd about it's occurrence this night was that I didn't do anything to attempt it. Usually, I try various techniques to help induce lucid dreaming as well as experimenting with different (legal) substances that may help. Last night I did none of the above, I simply went to sleep after drawing for an hour or so. For the past three days or so I've been on a "break" from trying to lucid dream... I was becoming exhausted with all of the techniques and such and it was greatly disrupting my rest. (Well actually I guess this was a DILD = Dream Induced Lucid Dream, so it is a technique of a sort...) In my dream I was in a big store like a Costco type thing only everything was white. The floors were pure white, as were the isles. It was a store that I had never been before but was configured like perhaps The Container Store or Staples. I do not remember why I was there or what the store sold. Spontaneously I just realized (or remembered, perhaps) that I was in a dream. I didn't even recognize any dream signs... it wasn't like something utterly bizarre happened and I recognized that it wouldn't be possible within reality, I simply realized I was dreaming. I didn't even need to perform a reality check because I was so sure. I yelled "I'm dreaming! ... I realize I'm in a dream!" I then began to think rationally and clearly. It was so inexplicably exhilarating to have the awareness that I was existing within a world in which nothing could hurt me and anything was possible! The feeling was... amazing and unique. I then took off running and yelling "I'm dreaming! I'm dreaming! Woooooooooo!!!" I wanted to run faster than any living thing could... I wasn't running so incredibly fast, however and I was slightly disappointed that I didn't have utter control over my dream. I assured myself that I would gain more control as I became more experienced in lucid dreaming. I wanted to fly... and then I suddenly awoke from my dream. I am unsure as to weather I actually awoke or if it was a false awakening. I remember it being pitch black but being able to see my room, and it didn't actually look like my room. I remember saying to myself "ah... Lame" (being disappointed that I had awoken so soon) but thinking that the experience would remain with me for the rest of my life. = D 7/5/09 (almost lucid) I was at this thing that was the introduction for the beginning of school. It was the day before school began and most people were there. It wasn't actually at Tam but rather in a bunch of different places in my town combined... there was actually a fair bit to it but I'll just skip to the lucid part. I saw a person there who is sort of a recurring dream character/symbol. Once I saw them I thought to myself, "Am I dreaming?" and I did the reality check in which you try to put one of your hands through your other hands. It worked just like it did in reality, sadly (I'm actually going to stop using that technique because it works that way in every dream I've ever tried it in). I came to the (inaccurate) conclusion that it was not actually a dream, and I thought to myself "I can't assume that every time I see that person that it will be a dream," which was quite ironic actually... Lucid Dream #2 - 7/5/09 I was in a library that looked exactly like the one from MVMS (my old middle school) and it was also connected to being the first day of school (as were all of my dreams last night). There was this woman who was the librarian I believe. She had her "dog" with her which was a creature with the body of a dog but the face and head of a human baby or toddler. At first I thought nothing of it but then I became further involved within rational thought, and said out loud "Ah... how bizarre that is! I must be dreaming!" I believe I did a reality check but I don't remember the outcome of that test, and it does not matter. I then aimed at the intention of flying and I began to levitate upwards. The dream ended then, sadly. I don't remember waking up but I remember looking at myself levitating in third person and then the "screen" (if you will) crackling out to white. Lucid Dream #3 - 7/7/09 I consider this to be my first "real" lucid dream because it's so far the only one I've had that didn't entire dissolve after a few seconds... I was in Costa Rica with my family and the McConnells (who are sort of like my alternative family anyway ). There was actually quite a lot to the dream but I'm going to try to conserve my time and your own by focusing on the lucid part. We were all locked within this upper room away from these dangerous people and had just called the cops. I was somehow not very flustered because I think I already knew that it was a dream in a sense. I kept saying "We have to teleport out of here, try to step through a mirror!". Eventually I got outside somehow and I walked (impossibly... as I was on a high deck type thing) outside to this pool area that was behind the room. As I was walking I saw a couple who both had the heads of animals, either dogs or cats, I can't remember. When I saw at first I asked myself "Huh... am I dreaming?" but I tried to justify it by saying to myself "Nah, they have technology that can do that kind of stuff now..." Still I decided to do the reality check in which you pinch your nose. I could still breath with my nose plugged so I knew that I must have been dreaming! I exclaimed in surprise mostly "Wow! I am dreaming! I've been dreaming this entire time!" I was worried about the dream dying like it has in the past so I calmed myself and rubbed my hands together. I could feel the friction and heat as I would in reality. Then I concentrated on the floor which were terracotta tiles, and you could see the water from the pool on them and such. The detail was incredible! Oddly, though I could not focus my gaze on one part of the floor. Actually, it is believed that if you focus on one place for two long in a dream, it can stop your eyes from participating in REM sleep and you will wake up, so perhaps I am lucky. Both techniques, the hand rubbing and deeply immersing yourself within a part of the dream, are ways of avoiding the loss of lucidity. Once I was assured that the dream was stabilized, I decided to dive into the pool and swim up to the stairs just for the fun of it. The water was cool, and refreshing and felt almost exactly like in reality. The only differences were that I could swim at a much, much faster rate than in reality, I could see remarkably clearly without the use of goggles, and I could breath underwater! Once I reached the stairs, I popped my head out of the water. I remember hearing fantastic music that seemingly came from no where at all. I told myself to remember it when I woke up but sadly it entirely escapes me. I had a sort of internal dialogue that was I suppose the workings of thought within the dream but interacted in a manner such as a conversation. Well... I suppose that everything within my dream is a thought hahaha . My original intention was to go to a gallery to get ideas for my artwork and I told myself that. I responded "Yeah, yeah, I will as soon as I have a bit of fun." I decided that, even though it was just a dream, that the original happenings made me nervous and I didn't want to remain in that dream anymore. I spun rapidly around, like if I was trying to make myself dizzy, and the dream went black. At first I could still feel the water from the pool but was eventually entirely encompassed by the blackness. The technique is actually much like dissaperation hahaha After a few more minutes of spinning, blobs of color began to appear which eventually solidified into an image. I was in the midst of a cell phone add... still floating within the blackness only now with a gigantic cell phone in the middle of the space. It was spinning and opening and such as if it was being displayed on TV. Eventually it rested within the space and the rest of the blackness faded into a white room. It looked as if the lights within the building were turned on. I decided that the room was boring so I wanted to teleport to another scene. I shut my eyes and when I opened them I was in the midst of some game show thing. It was like I was jumping to different TV stations... I kept trying to summon a freind into my dream but different strangers kept appearing instead. Suddenly a dead person appeared (as one of my and it really freaked me out so I woke up. When I woke up I performed a reality check instantly because I was hoping it to be a false awakening. It wasn't, sadly... Well, it was already 1:30 anyway hahaha Lucid Dream #4 - 7/18/09 I had this lucid dream while in Monterrey which was a post-camp-mini-vacation... I can't recall what the original dream consisted of but during it I kept reminding myself to try to remember the happenings for when ?... Strangely I didn't know why or when it was supposed to be remembered for. Eventually I realized that I was subconsciously telling myself that I was dreaming and became lucid as such. Immediately after gaining lucidity I rapidly flew/jumped/teleported to the middle of a street nearby. (I believe it was the street perpendicular to my high school.) Before I became lucid there were an abundance of traffic on the street (as there always is for such a road) but after the relocation, the streets were empty. Before continuing onward, I rubbed my hands together to further establish myself within the dream. I tried to firstly establish different dream experiences. The first word I uttered was, "Nightmare." where the dream morphed into a street (and not a dark nor unsettling street) within San Francisco. There was a lady dressed in green exercise clothing walking towards me. Still I was unnerved by my suggestion as well as nervous over what the dream may become and I decided to change it. I stated the name of someone that I frankly am in love with. A truck drove by and seemingly shot the person who's name I uttered out of it. It didn't actually look like her but I still recognized it as being her. Furthermore, as the dream progressed her appearance shifted even more dramatically. The street transformed to yet another street (Miller Avenue) where we waited for some friends (or so they stated.) I don't believe that I actually know the people in reality but their faces were familiar. Once the friends arrived I remarked something like "Wow, what took you so long" or some such despite the fact that we had waited barely a second for their arrival. Together we walked across the street and onto the island that divides the two lanes of traffic. Once their me and the original girl (who now looked very little like her) began a sexual experience but I woke up as suddenly as it began. I'll post #5 very soon... Jake

[Jake Kobrin]

7/21/09 "Precurser" to the Lucid Dream It was late at night and I was upstairs with my standard poodle Zoe as my parents slept below. I let my dog out before going downstairs. I sat on the couch for a moment and then went to let her back in. When I looked out of the peep hole in the door, I saw the silhouette of several creatures amongst the outside of my house. As they came further into the light I could see them clearer. They looked like distorted hounds, with long tubular snouts and course mains atop their heads. Their snouts were white with pink horizontal stripes along it's length. Despite their obvious disaffiliation, I classified them as raccoons. I opened the door rapidly and screamed "Zoe!". As soon as she darted through, I slammed the door shut and locked the door (the latter being a fairly irrational defense against a vicious animal...) This was followed by the creatures leaping mouth first into the door. Through the peephole I could see their teeth gnashing. I glanced at my dog who was sitting undisturbed next to and I laughed at the general absurdity of the scenario. What odd behavior for raccoons! I thought. I made my way down the hall feeling humored and excited. Suddenly I noticed that the radio was on. It was a man speaking in Spanish, interspersed with moments of noise and static. I don't remember ever turning on the radio... I thought to myself. I was worried that my parents would hear the noise and would be awakened and therefore quickly saw to turning the radio off. The buttons were odd and the radio system utter chaos. I had quite a deal of trouble turning it off. Once I turned it off I said, "Wow... what a surreal night this has been! It's as if I am in a dream!" (DING DING DING DING DING!) Despite my obvious resolution I dismissed the thought, somehow... Lucid Dream #5 I don't remember the beginning of this lucid dream or how I became lucid. I know that after the original dream I awoke and was bewildered at the fact that it actually was a dream (as well as scorned myself for not fully recognizing it at the time). It may have been a false awakening meaning that I was still within the dream state and the awakening was only a simulation. Either way, the implications of the awakening were enough to thoroughly install the intention of lucid dreaming. What ever it was, my memory is a black hole for those points... Throughout the progression of the dream I remember rubbing my hands together to try to remain within the dream. I'm fairly nervous of my dreams fading quickly... T told me to go to this magnificent room of which I forget the purpose. About twenty people (barely of which I can remember specifically) and myself were within what I believed to be a movie theater, although upon recollection it looked like no movie theater I had ever been within before. I asked one of the women working there (even though it was a dream and I could have just walked through the walls or something... ) how to find the room and she directed me to it. The room was odd, with the right side of it being entirely abolished, the broken floor boards leading to thin air. I never looked closely out of the vacant space so I am unsure as to how elevated the room was or what I could view. On the left side of the room was a couch and various shelves. It looked like a common entertainment room but lacking a television. Within the room were many young girls around the age of 4 and a smaller amount of young boys. The young girls were all sitting towards the opening and gazing out of it. There was a general air of depression amongst them. One of the boys was J.S. who I have actually never met in person. He was playing music from this device that looked like a skull. Suddenly I felt the dream fading...My dream eyes had closed and I could feel my eyes in my sleeping body. I knew that if I opened them I would be instantaneously awoken. I could still experience the other sensations within the dream. I disparately tried to grasp onto the dream and began to concentrate on the music that J was playing. Oddly, it was a song by Rage Against the Machine which is a band that I haven't listened to in over a year. (I don't remember what song for those who wish to ask.) As I continued to become immersed in the music, the dream began to slowly solidify again. Once I regained vision I concentrated on the skull-player which was vividly detailed with short spiky hairs thoroughly covering it's exterior like someone who hasn't shaved in a couple of days. I wanted to go away from that place so I closed my eyes and envisioned O (who is a girl that I like, the same one from the last dream and several others... actually she's a recognized reoccurring dream sign as creepy as that sounds. ) as clearly and exactly as I could to try to summon her. When I opened my eyes I was within a garage looking in third person at a much older version of myself and her. It did not look much like either of us but I fully recognized the figures as such. I was very skinny (sadly quite the opposite of now), had short hair (again quite the opposite of now), and a scruffy unshaven cleft chin (not as now, either). She was packing a car with various things and as she did so yelled at the dream me, "We've been together for 8 years and you always screw up! This time we're through!" The dream-me replied (in a New York accent, oddly enough...) "Baby... I was drunk!" at which she yelled, "I can't trust you anymore!" I went away from the scene and into the house. At the other end of the house there was a line of men at the base of a gigantic stair case/ramp (it wasn't stacked like stairs but rather was a sloped board-walk with thin strips of wood along it's surface for footholds). To the right of the ramp was the house and to the left was a lake or ocean. The men were lined up to dive off of the ramp once they reached a sufficient height. I ran up part of the ramp and jumped (or tripped rather) off. I bellyflopped into the water which was surprisingly quite painful. Once I rose to the surface I said, "Well... at least it's just a dream!" I continued to the top of the ramp, which took only a second in dream time. Once at the top of the ramp I thought to myself (for no particular reason) <i>Wow, it's quite exhilarating to be in a lucid dream!</i> At the top of the ramp was an entrance to another house. There was no door, but rather a stone walkway that led through the doorway into the room. Sadly, I cannot quite remember the interior of the house. There were two (I believe... at least one if not) large security guards in blue jumpsuits on either side of the doorway. There was some kind of congregation within, which many people were attending like a party of some sort. Whilst in the room, one of the security guards came up to me and pointed towards one of the rocks in the entrance stairway. He started to say something to me like, "Come and have a look at this. It's entirely a secret... I learned of it when I began working here." A couple of the dream characters (people attending the party) and I began to watch closely as he removed the rock, which was shallow with three fragments like a distorted clover, from the arrangement. Underneath the rock, in it's original placement, was a trigger of sorts, like a foot moog pedal. (Only my prog geek friends will get that ) A man with dark hair and glasses (who, interestingly looked a bit like J.M.) who was watching the display with me grabbed the rock and ran away with it. I found him and asked him if he thought the trigger was a bomb (which was my original reaction, until I remembered that it was my dream and it could essentially be anything I wanted). He sort of shrugged and just said, "No... I just wanted it." I grabbed it from him and brought it back to the place. When I placed the rock back and activated the trigger several small speakers rose around the rock. They emitted a very low and pulsating music, much like Om chanting that I found incredibly stimulating as well spiritually resounding. Then I woke up... Damn it took like 6 hours to transcribe this dream!

[Jake Kobrin]

Lucid Dream #6 - 8/6/09 I had this dream while taking classes at ArtCenter in Pasadena. I actually woke up briefly before having this LD. I was up for no more than perhaps 30 seconds but I was thinking of LDs during that time. In that way, this is a semi WBTB and MILD. I was in the midst of a wonderful dream, in which I quite enjoyed. Towards the end of the dream I was in the waiting area of a restaurant. I decided that the dream was "too good to be true" so I performed a reality check in which I plugged my nose. It was quite apparent that I could still breathe with my nose plugged so I knew that I was dreaming. Still, within my dream I thought "Well... maybe I am dreaming, but I don't want to leave this dream". But then I realized that within a lucid dream I could do anything I want and it would be much better than this dream! Still I decided to perform another reality check (out of curiosity mainly, I was already almost sure I was dreaming) in which I would put one of my hands through the other. To prepare for this I challenged myself to truly believe that I could put my hand through my other and then try it. Like I predicted, it didn't work. I've tried that reality check about 10 times within dreams and it has never worked... I went out side of the restaurant where an odd and beautiful landscape unfolded. I was on a sort of boardwalk overlooking the sea. Many people walked quickly on the boardwalk and went about with their (dream) business. To the left, the boardwalk faded into a stretch of gravel, and beyond that grassy plains unfolded like one could see in Scotland. Lush, gray clouds rolled over the tops of those hills in the distance. Upon exiting the restaurant, I spurted out "I'm dreaming..." to myself in semi-disbelief. To my surprise, I actually had to think about how to utter those words and once I did a vast feeling of freedom welled inside of me. I walked along the boardwalk and said to a passerby, a young girl in a red sweatshirt, "I'm dreaming!" of which her only response was an amused look upon her face. I wondered to myself who that girl was, why was she in my dream, and what element of myself does she represent? I wished to ask her those questions but she had fled. I had come to the edge of the boardwalk, where it meets the sand, and I dropped to my knees. I wished to stabilize my dream and I knew I hadn't long before it would end. I rubbed my hands together and then fixed my gaze upon the gravel. Oddly, there was a misplaced cellphone, of the older variety, near where I was resting. I yelled "I'M DREAMING!" which felt as if the entire world flooded with sound. I felt uplifted and yet slightly embarrassed over the action. Someone in a familiar voice responded at that, but I do not remember what they said. I turned to see who it was and it I saw the often aforementioned (from other dreams) girl at the top of the cliff. I yelled her name and she began to run down the cliff towards me. I became flooded with emotions of love and excitement. My emotions took hold, and I woke up...

[Jake Kobrin]

Lucid Dream #7 - 8/8/09 I don't remember this one as well as I'd like. I recorded my account of it onto a tape the moment I woke up but somehow the tape didn't record or was erased and therefore I have no reference to this telling. I was walking or driving down a street and I spontaneously decided to do a reality check. I plugged my nose and I could still breath! I was immensely surprised at that and I thought that it had to do with the positioning of my fingers: I wasn't covering my nose thoroughly, etc. So I tried it again... and again... and all three times I could still breath! So, I realized I was dreaming. I decided to finally try flying, which was one of the first goals/ideas/ etc that I had established before lucid dreaming but I couldn't remember it within the dream until then. I'll tell you now, it's absolutely amazing. The feeling is of extreme joy and freedom, something that I can't compare to something of this reality. At first I had a hard time figuring out how to become airborne. I tried launching into the air "Neo-style" and then running while jumping (and attempting to gain altitude), both of which didn't work. Finally I figured out how to make myself levitate into the air. It requires a certain amount of visualization and controlled expectation. The process is very, very hard to explain but I can describe it as a "shift in consciousness". It's much like doing some sort of other action like walking or speaking; you don't think about how to do those things and when you do it can inhibit your ability to do them... you just know how to do them. That is how control within lucid dreams works. When I first began to fly I got stuck beneath the boughs of a nearby tree. I maneuvered myself away from the obstruction and began to accelerate forward. I put my hands out like superman, however cheesy that sounds. I flew to my school (at least that's what I identified it as, it looked nothing like it). After a while meandering around and interacting with dream characters, my vision became incredibly impaired. It started to get very blurry, dark, and the color began to fade. I wanted to stabilize the dream but I couldn't remember how. Eventually I closed my eyes and ended the dream. After the lucid dream had dissipated I had a very short false awakening in which I began to try to check my email on my cell phone or some such. I remember quite clearly that the time on my cell phone said 9:45. I woke up, recorded my dream, etc and I decided to check the time. It was 9:48! Lucid Dream #8 - 8/9/09 I had this while staying at the Brookdale Lodge after seeing Sunn O))). I had a dream prior in which I was amazingly convinced that I was dreaming (rightfully) yet the reality check I performed worked just as it would in reality. I was immensely surprised at that, because I was very sure I was dreaming (which I was). I had a false awakening after that (I'm sure it was a false awakening because I was staying in a hotel at that time and I awoke in my room) and in it I reminded myself to not trust the reality checks and to follow my original suspicions. In the false awakening I woke up and went on Facebook. I clicked a link that I saw and was instantly transported to some sort of garden. "Where am I?" I asked originally, but then I understood clearly that I was "Within my dream." I did the reality check in which I plugged my nose and it correctly blocked my air flow like in the dream before. By controlling the dream, however, I was able to make it work like it should (so I can still breathe with my nose plugged). I took off from the ground and began to fly around. While I fly I was just thinking about what to do while in the lucid dream. I was without a doubt the most rational and clear thinking I have ever been within a lucid dream. At one point I decided to walk instead of fly but eventually took off again. And then I woke up, naturally though. I don't believe I woke up because of anything that happened within the dream, I just believe it was about that time...