JD's Balls-to-the-Wall Awesome Dream Journal

[The Dreaming Zombie]

Yeah, I've got a 360. It's kinda nerdy how often gaming scenarios pop up in my dreams! That's kind of how I think of lucid dreams though, like the best possible, most immersive video game ever. That's a really good way to think of 'em and awesome, I have a 360 too. I play online, but my gold membership ran out the other day and I ain't renewing it until my shitty exams are over. My gamertag is: Zombified Jake. Yes, zombies seem to crop up everywhere.

[J.D.]

Sweet, I'll add you next time I'm on. I'm MagicSuperman, btw.

[J.D.]

06.04.2010 Rumble in the Jungle (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID This started with me on a bus. Should really have noticed the dreamsign. I was on my way back to a picnic in the grounds of my old school, and it was raining. I was worried because I had been told that bagguettes and other sandwiches had been left out in the open air, and I didn't want them to get soggy from the rain. I was on the bus with two of my brothers, who told me it was time to get off when we were beside the estate near my house. We stepped off and started running. In reality, my school is nowhere near there, but in the dream it was just around a corner. I burst through a gate and skidded down a gravelly hill to the picnic table, which was out the front of the school. I got into a conversation with a girl from my class who turned up while I made a sandwich, and the next thing I knew, a lesson had started outside. Lots of people from my year appeared from nowhere and sat down at other picnic tables which had appeared around mine. I sat beside the girl I had been talking to. It seemed to be a geography lesson, and although I hadn't been paying attention to the teacher at all, she asked me, "So John, what else do rivers do that hasn't been mentioned so far?" I improvised, "Uh... meander, and flow towards the sea?" "Exactly," She said. What can I say, freakin genius. I put my head down on the desk so I could talk more privately with the girl beside me. When I looked up, we were inside a tent. Something registered, "This isn't right..." but it wasn't enough to turn me lucid. Everyone was going outside, so I followed them. Now we were in a jungle. It was quite beautiful. There were really tall trees, and vines wrapped around some ancient ruins. Some friends and I went exploring. We were laughing and talking when we stepped out from behind a tree right into the path of a giant panther. It stopped and stared at us, making a low grumbling noise. The rest immediately ran. I had it in my head not to make any sudden movements, so I just stood there. After a few seconds the panther lay down, and I tried to sneak off. I was trying desperately not to stand on any twigs, and I ended up floating ever so slightly between steps. I noticed the abnormality and became lucid. I levitated over the ground and made my way back to the tent. I floated in, showing off my moves, then plonked down at a table. My classmates were doing some kind of experiment using a candle, but I had no idea what it was. The candle went out, and I thought I should try and make fire to light it again. I snapped my fingers, expecting a flame to just magically appear, but it didn't. I pondered, then tried a different tactic. Cupping my hands around each other, I tried to force heat into the space between. After a few seconds I had a peek, and saw distinctive waves of heat. It was working. I kept it up, and soon fire was bursting from between my fingers. I used it to light the candle again, then looked at my palms. There were two tiny burns on the heel of each palm. I laughed, then woke up. The first thing I did was look at my hands. The burns were still there. I was really excited for some reason, so I ran out of the tent and flew around the trees. Some music started playing. It was very fast, and was perfect for running around in a frenzy, as I was doing now. I ran into the giant panther again, but stroked it like I would a cat, and it purred. After that I woke up for real.

[J.D.]

08.04.2010 Breaking the Spell (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID This is the only fragment I can remember from a night which was absolutely full of dreams. I had made an enemy of an evil wizard. He put me under some kind of spell which basically put me in a dream state- I think to make me less of a danger to him. I was running up a snowy path to the wizard's castle, when I thought, "Something just doesn't seem right about this." I did a hand reality check and realised I was dreaming. However, I didn't go to the next level and work out that the world outside this dream was still another dream. When I stopped what I was doing and wondered if this was the wizard's doing, his face appeared in front of me in a spinning, levitating mirror. It looked at me intently, and seemed pleased with me. Then I woke up back into the original dream level.

[J.D.]

12.04.2010 Rambling Through Dreams (DEILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I had about 7 DEILDs this morning. Lay on my back the whole time. Even though I wrote down some notes immediately after waking up, I doubt I remembered them all. These were a new kind of DEILD for me- Instead of going for the usual "tactile entry", I focused my vision on an object or scene. I kept looking intently at the same object or scene until it became "real". Sometimes I wasn't sure if I had woken up or it was a false awakening, but I kept the rules in my head, which helped me tell the difference. If my arms were easy to move, it was a dream, simple as that. The first segment was where I was sure I woke up. I spent a couple of minutes lying on my back trying to bat away a large fly that was zooming about. It's only after waking that I now realise it wasn't real. For my first DEILD, I visualised the wall opposite my bed. I just stared at it. My eyes could even have been open, I don't know- it sure felt like it. A picture on my wall had changed to a calendar for some reason. I think it might have been a Simpsons one. It started flashing through lots of different faces, and there was something quite menacing about it. I didn't think about the scariness, I only took it as a reassuring sign that a dream had definitely begun. I was still in bed, so I tentatively tried to move my arms. I found I could, and quickly fell out of bed. I ran downstairs and out into the street. My friends Hugh and Darren were there. Hugh was carrying a bottle of Jack Daniel's, which he handed to me. We walked up the street to a petrol station, whereupon I took a giant swig from the bottle and threw it over my shoulder. I heard the smash and walked through the automatic doors. I pondered for a minute about whether I should try to do some of the task of the year, but all my lucids recently have been pretty short, so I thought there would be no point. Also, I was just stealing a few extra minutes sleep and expected to be woken up at any minute. There was a great-looking girl working behind the till, so I wasted no time in going at it with her. The people in the shop were staring at me like I was insane, and I became slightly self-conscious. What if I was merely super-drunk and not dreaming at all? A quick hand-reality-check allayed my fears, and I continued. Then the alarm went off, and shutters closed down on every door and window. I suspected that I might be trapped, so in a way, it was lucky that I woke up. Still very relaxed (and maybe in sleep paralysis), I went for another DEILD. I looked closely an image which formed in my head as before, and soon found myself standing in some sort of facility. The walls were sliver-grey, and there were lots of people walking about in a hurry. I did a little experiment, and found that it didn't matter whether I had my eyes open or closed in the dream, I could see fine if I wanted to see. I did the experiment whilst looking at an old woman leaning on a railing of a balcony. Satisfied with my discovery, I strolled along the balcony, gazing out over the wooded area outside. It looked like the sun was going down. Along a bit, I found a table with benches around it. Sitting on one was a girl I know, who I plan to ask out soon. She was wearing a strange light-blue swimsuit. I sat down beside her and we began kissing. Soon I woke up again. This time the DEILD transition was a bit different. I moved a little, then "fell" to my left, and ended up on all fours on a stony surface. I stood up and looked around. I suspected I might be in the wooded area I had seen from the balcony earlier. I started running through the trees and entered an area of ancient ruins which was pretty overgrown with plants. I thought about the strangeness of running in dreams again, and I chuckled as I automatically started taking deep breaths as I do when I run in real life. Was there any point in talking bigger breaths, or noticing breathing at all? The ruins started to look a bit like a multiplayer level in the Aliens vs. Predator game, the name of which escapes me. I jumped about 10 metres onto a stone platform to look around. There was movement all around me. I had no doubt that Aliens and Predators were the culprits, but I couldn't get a clear look at one. With a screech, an Alien dove at me, mouth open and arms outstretched. I caught in in mid-air by its neck, and proceeded to perform one of the more brutal execution moves from the game on it. Then I noticed that I had a predator's blades attached to my forearm. I extended the blades and started admiring them, but I was jumped from the left by another alien. I swung round and delivered a downwards blow with my blades through the alien's skull. It cracked like an eggshell. I woke up again. I was having so much fun, I decided to try to go back there. I don't think I managed it, but I had a short lucid where I played a sniper in Call of Duty. EDIT: Also, just cracked 8K views yeeeooooo!

[J.D.]

13.04.2010 No Tom, Just No. (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I might be on a hot streak here. The earliest part I can remember is being inside a huge sports stadium. I had taken shelter in the dugout area from the coming destruction. The entire stadium was launched out of an enormous cannon and fired over a smokey, grey city. It flew over hundreds of tall buildings, and eventually hit the ground and skidded to a halt, crushing many more. My stomach was in my mouth the whole time. I was on a kind of autopilot, where there was a narrative, and I was following it like a movie. I climbed out of where I had been hiding and walked down behind one of the stands where a small "hoverbus" was parked. I got on board, and pressed the ignition button. It chugged into life. The only real flight control was a black plastic joystick on the right of the dashboard. I gave it a waggle to shake off the dust and wreckage that was on its roof. I turned round, and saw a squad of guys trooping on behind me. There were only about ten seats and they filled them all. Somebody (I think their leader) mentioned going to the planet Pandora. His mission was to get to know the natives in order to make the planet easier for humans to colonise. One of the men asked if he would be going in armed, but he said no- it might create a bad impression. There were a few suprised whistles and a sarcastic "Good luck!" from the men. There was a skip ahead in time here, and now we were flying at streetlight-height over the city. I was no longer the pilot, someone else had taken over. There was a moment when the conversation lulled, and I had a rare (in my dreams) moment of thoughtfulness. How did I get here? I remembered being in the stadium and being flung across the city, but before that, nothing. "Could it be?" I looked at my right hand. Eight fingers. "No fucking way!" I laughed. "It's all a dream!" Everyone on the bus cheered and there were high fives all round. I saw the pilot raising his arm and I leant over to give him one too. Then I saw his face. It was Tom bloody Cruise, in my opinion one of the biggest douches in Hollywood, if not the Western world. He was wearing the gear he had in Top Gun, sunglasses included. His hand was still raised, but I left him hanging. "No Tom, just no," I said to him with utter disdain in my voice, whilst shaking my head and giving him the finger. I soon got too involved in the plot again, and ended up non-lucid, helping Barney Stinson steal cash registers from delapidated shops while the hoverbus circled overhead.

[The Dreaming Zombie]

Hahah turning down Tom, nice one. Awesome DEILD streak too. By focusing on an image/scene after waking up do you mean that you just sort of daydream (can't think of another way to put it) and it becomes real? My limited experience with DEILDs was that I saw an image I didn't even think of after waking out of a dream, then it suddenly warped and became a dream.

[ThaKid]

Love your DJ most of your dreams are so funny. I also have a 360 you should add me GT: Spartankiller67

[J.D.]

Hahah turning down Tom, nice one. Awesome DEILD streak too. By focusing on an image/scene after waking up do you mean that you just sort of daydream (can't think of another way to put it) and it becomes real? Cheerz! Yeah those DEILDs were a bit different to my usuals, it was kind of like you described, daydreaming it. Whatever image forms up in my head I just look at it. (Whatever comes naturally is less effort) You know that stage where you're a bit beyond imagining an image, you sort of "see" it? It's like looking with your eyes- feels the same, but you're not really using the eyes. It's gotta have a name... After a bit it just envelops you and you can go about your business! Love your DJ most of your dreams are so funny. I also have a 360 you should add me GT: Spartankiller67 Hey, thanks for reading! I try to make them as entertaining as possible. I shall indeed add you.

[J.D.]

19.04.2010 Bad Zombies (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I've always been of the opinion that any dream about zombies is awesome, but this one was scary! This occurred in the middle of the night, which is quite rare as my DILDs go, so my memory of it is terrible. I can basically just remember that it happened. I was flying on a hanglider through a city. I weaved through skyscrapers, trying to stay in the air at all costs. Why? Because every square inch of the ground below was covered in bloodthirsty mutant zombies. It was a terrible, gory sight. Some zombies had grown into grotesque, tentacled abomnations, and they were all piled on top of each other in the street, there were so many of them. I was descending, much to my dismay, towards the horde. So I set my sights on a mid-sized skyscraper that I reckoned I could still make it onto the roof of. It was just ten or so metres beyond the reach of the monsters below. I landed and let go of the hanglider, which floated over the opposite edge. Now I was trapped, and becoming fearful. Out of nowhere, I reassured myself. "Don't worry, it's just a dream," I thought. It was a revelation, to say the least, but I still felt like I was in a horror movie. I knew I shouldn't be scared, but I was surrounded by such an overwhelming mass of monsters that I still felt kind of powerless. I couldn't drown out their roaring. "But this isn't even real!" I said, out loud this time. I looked at my hands, two extra fingers. Rather than stay within the bounds of the dream plot, I tried to initiate a complete change of direction. Trying not to think about the beasts below, I turned and walked across the roof of the building. There was a door leading downstairs. I assumed if I opened it, I would be in a mundane but comparitively harmless office. I strode confidently over and turned the handle. No sooner had the door opened a crack, several thick slimy tentacles burst out. The zombies roared louder. "Fuck this," I said, scowling. I woke myself up.

[Serenity]

Dude, that sucks! Usually when I attempt to ignore the dream plot, it works!! I wouldn't be happy at all if something persistently came back like that

[J.D.]

That was a real bummer, such a waste of what could've been a really stable lucid! Maybe it was just because the monsters themselves took up like 70% of the physical space in the dream. Hard to shut that many out! Thanks for reading, by the way.

[Serenity]

You'd have had to leave the planet... maybe beat Neil down the ladder?

[J.D.]

Haha that would have been a good idea. I've got to get back to trying those tasks of the year again too.

[J.D.]

19.04.2010 Trying to Fix The Dreamworld (WILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID A quick note from last night: I got some pretty powerful HI when I was going to sleep last night, only about 10 minutes after lying down. Somebody blasted a football at me and hit me square in the chest. I completely felt it, and my entire torso took a huge spasm. I was like, "What the hell?" since I was nowhere even near asleep yet. I guess my mind just went off on its own for a bit. This morning: I haven't had a proper, straight-up WILD for quite some time, but this morning I had two. I felt sleep paralysis after... I have no idea how long, and was riding it out comfortably. It came on like a light blanket being draped over me, starting at my head and finishing at my feet a split-second later. Then, I heard my brother come into the room. He was looking for something. "You asshole, don't wake me up," I murmured. "What's that John?" he said, and shook my shoulder to wake me. I was pretty gutted, but sat up to see what he wanted. Something didn't seem right. Then I remembered that this exact situation had happened earlier this morning, when my brother had come in looking for a sleeping bag. (He was going on a school trip and was only packing that morning) For (I think) the second time ever, I tried the nose-pinch reality-check. I could breathe perfectly. I laughed that I could have thought this was for real. I threw the duvet off me and got out of bed. As I left my bedroom, things went out of focus. The railing beside the stairs was fuzzy, and bizarrely, everything was upside down. As in, the floor was on the ceiling, and vice versa. I rubbed my hands together, which improved the fuzziness a bit, then set to work on trying to walk on the ceiling. I got down on my hands and knees, then put my feet up in the air. As I did so, I realised I had just completed the basic task of the month on Dreamviews, "Stand on your head". From there I tried to float myself upwards, feet first. I imagined that I was hanging onto the ceiling with my hands (it looked that way anyway), and was looking down at the floor. But gravity was being a bitch, and I couldn't make it off the ground at all. I had a closer look at my surroundings, and noticed a yellow tint to all the walls. It occurred to me that I could be sleeping with my eyes open, and the yellow of my bedroom walls could be influencing my dreamworld. It was definitely the same kind of yellow. The more I tried to look at the yellow parts, the closer I came to awakening. Realising what was happening, I grabbed a door frame and desperately tried to stay in the dream, but it was too late and I woke up. My eyes had been closed.

[J.D.]

19.04.2010 No Driver! (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I just remembered this bad boy when I was in a car with a few mates earlier. I felt compelled to tell them about it, naturally they thought I was weird! I was in the back seat of a car, behind the driver's seat. It was driving along a country road on a sunny day, passing plenty of large trees along the roadside. I glanced into the front seat. There was no driver! I was the only person in the car, which was going completely by itself. Of course I became lucid immediately. I was pretty damn aware here, I couldn't have let that dreamsign slide even if I wanted to. "So obvious," I thought, as I leant into the front seat. I was in the mood for some minor destruction, so I grabbed the wheel and spun it hard to the left. The car veered off the road and hit a protruding root of a large tree, causing it to flip. That's the last I remember.

[J.D.]

19.04.2010 When I Get That Feelin'... (WILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I got up for a while after that last one, but I was still shattered so I hit the hay once more. I got three separate blasts of sleep paralysis right after each other. This time, I was far more aware of what was going on than before. The first two came over me like a switch had been flicked and my body had shut down. However I was still aware of my breathing, which suddenly became quite difficult. It felt like I was breathing with my stomach rather than my chest. That, combined with trying too hard to visualise a dream scene and jump in early caused the first two SP episodes to end. On the third, I just let it happen on its own. I heard people talking around me about betting on the Grand National. It sounded like I was in a bookies. I "spoke", saying I'd placed a £500 bet on the horse that won, and a cheer erupted all around me. It was a glorious sound, so I rewound and did it again. "I bet £500 on the winning horse!" A louder cheer, and I was in. Sure enough, I was in the bookies round the corner from my house, which I had actually been in on the day of the Grand National. I looked around at the collection of people standing around, and spotted my girlfriend. We spent the next 15 minutes getting it on. When I woke up I tried to DEILD for round two, but sadly no luck!

[J.D.]

21.04.2010 Burning (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I was in the grounds of some rich guy's house at night with my family. My mum, dad, three brothers and granny were there. We were in a horse enclosure, where I was trying to teach the horse a trick using some crackers. It ended up just licking all over my face. Then my granny got agitated. She said she heard something, and we should get out of here. I listened for a second, and heard an ominous hissing noise. It sounded like hundreds of snakes, slithering somewhere in the grass. I couldn't find them anywhere though. I led my family through the various gates and wire fences, out of the gardens. I turned round to see my dad heading off in the opposite direction. I called after him but he just kept walking. Looking down at the grass, I saw he was following a thin trail of black smoke. It looked kind of like the smoke monster in Lost, but much smaller. "I'm calling bullshit," I said, and looked at my hands- where I found several fingers missing. My dad entered another enclosure and shut the gate behind him. I ran up to the gate and tried to open it, but it was locked. My dad walked up to three shady-looking figures and said something. One of them held out his arm at my dad, and he burst into flames. It wasn't like normal fire. There were flames combined with writhing black smoke, and visible cracking of electrical sparks. My dad disintegrated in front of me. Now I was pissed off. I forced what felt like a lot of energy into my right hand, and discharged it on the gate. The concussive force it created blasted the gate off its hinges. The three figures looked up, startled. I strode towards them with murder on my mind, and when I was a couple of metres away, held out my arms, as one of them had done. I clenched my fists and two of them were immediately consumed by fire, smoke and lightning. They howled with pain as parts of them fell off and melted. There was soon nothing left of them but a small pile of what looked like charcoal. The final guy started running. I narrowed my eyes at him, which stopped him dead in his tracks. From there I used telekenisis to grab and pull him towards me. I find telekenisis always works when I imagine an invisible rope betweeen me and the object. He flew towards me, shouting loudly as I readied myself into the correct stance. Right as he was about to smack into me, I punched as hard as I could. My fist and arm went through his chest like it was butter, coming a good way out the other side. He spluttered, still not dead. I removed my arm and got him in a headlock. After a quick psych-up, I jolted and snapped his neck. It was all very cathartic.

[J.D.]

22.04.2010 Glug Glug (Non-lucid) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID Just a quickie from right before I woke up. My friend Mark had become addicted to energy drinks. It was all he could drink, and he would physically grind to a halt without constantly drinking some. One time he ground to a halt on a morning exactly like today- sunny, with a warm glow coming through the blinds. I felt it was my duty to get him off the energy drinks and also save his ass from becoming a statue. So I poured a few drops of red bull into his gaping maw, followed by a good gulp of Evian water. The water looked so damn good that I got myself a bottle to drink at the same time. Because it was warm, and the bottle so cold, condensation formed on the sides. Somebody put on a song from upstairs. It was Enrique Iglesias- Hero. I sang along while pouring water into Mark and myself. I found I could basically drink without taking a breath, so I held the bottle upside down and drained it. I had a few beers last night, and was dehydrated. Needless to say, I woke up and and drained a pint of water straight-off. That was a pretty obvious dream with a message- "You are thirsty, drink." It's not the first time I've had one of those either. Good ol' subconscious, looking out for my hydration.

[Serenity]

That was a pretty obvious dream with a message- "You are thirsty, drink." lol, nice! I get that too, but usually with sugar. "You have gone 2 days without cupcakes. Eat some!"

[J.D.]

If only all dream interpretation was so straightforward!

[J.D.]

24.04.2010 Milestone (WILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID 100th LD!! There was one DILD I had before this, but it's so sordid I couldn't even bring myself to type it! I don't remember the transition into a dream at all, I think I was just lucid the entire time. When I was in the HI stage I did some typing on a keyboard. I typed out the first few sentences of "The Night Before Christmas" for some reason. I had somehow inserted myself into the upcoming game, Halo: Reach.It was a first-person dream, as in, I was inside the game. For the first few minutes I ran around on foot, using a new weapon which shot plasma grenades. Me and my squad were in some kind of harbour base which was under attack. I used the plasma launcher to great effect on some weird armoured alien elephants, then switched to a pistol when it ran out of ammo. The best part of the dream came when I jumped in a small, flying attack vehicle. It was pretty similar to the one which appears in Halo: Legends, but it had a roof over the cockpit. It had two joysticks for control at either side of the arm rests. The controls came naturally to me. I thought about this as I strapped myself in. I reasoned that if I expected it to work in a certain way, it would. I lifted off the ground by simply squeezing the two joysticks, then shot forward at an incredible speed by pushing them forward. The feeling was amazing. I flew at unbelievable speed through hangars and tunnels, and was able to quickly change direction by flicking one of the sticks left or right, causing me to do a barrel roll in that direction. I finally broke through a toughened window using missiles, and found myself out in the open air. It was a beautiful evening, and the sun was going down. The first thing I did was a giant loop, then I got involved in a dogfight with unmanned drone aircraft around the eiffel tower- which was in the middle of a lake. I was laughing the whole time. A while later my machine was destroyed, and I had to steal another. I went back to the hanger to find it nearly empty, apart from one garage. There were four craft inside, and they were supposed to be piloted by four marines in particular. I saw them heading towards the garage door, so I grabbed one and knocked him out. I stole his military hat and proceeded inside. The other three pilots didn't notice me at first, and I overheard them talking. They were all bragging about how many people they'd killed. One claimed that he'd "done in" over 1200- yet he was only about the same age as me. The pilots opened a cardboard box and each put on a watch they found inside with their name on it. I came along and did the same, taking the only one left. It was green and white, with "Fred" written on the side. I made a mental note of it, but then remembered it was in fact my middle name "Frederick", so I wouldn't have to bother. The hard-sounding pilot realised what I was up to, and pushed me up against the wall. He snarled at me. "What have you done with Fred, fuckface?" he growled. I wasn't having this at all, so I grabbed him by the throat and (with my vastly superior strength) held him up in the air against the wall and said, "Blow it out your ass," in the style of Duke Nukem. He looked terrified, so I threw him down and got into the aircraft. This one was nowhere near as fast (or awesome) as the first, but I flew home in it. I ended up at my old house, in the living room. I lost a bit of lucidity for a while when I sat around talking to some people who turned up, but then I remembered what was going on. Purely because it was the first thing that came to mind, I went outside looking for a hot girl. I found one sunbathing naked round the side of my house. Woke up after a few minutes of sex in a flowerbed. This dream had it all- fighting, flying and fucking! Excellent themes for my 100th LD!

[Serenity]

Kick ass, JD!!

[J.D.]

26.04.2010 "Help me out here" (WILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID I WILDed by accident this morning. Well, once I noticed I was heading into sleep paralysis I went for it, but it wasn't my original intention! I've heard scary reports of hallucinatory/SP/dreams involving a figure standing over the bed menacingly, but have been pretty lucky so far- having never had it happen to me. Today that changed... yaayy... I was lying on my back (which is easy-street for lucidity if the conditions are right), with my head leaning to the right. When I felt sleep paralysis come along, my eyes did something funny. My attention was focused directly in front of me, but it felt like my eyes were moving from side to side. I could feel them underneath my eyelids- but couldn't feel the muscles working to move my eyes. Might just have been a hallucination. Anyway, I thought I'd failed my attempt when I "woke up". I had a glance round my room and looked at the painting of a cow which is usually opposite my bed. It had become warped and distorted- a bit like a shape was coming out of the picture. I assumed I was dreaming and slid out of bed. I jumped down all the stairs in one go, saying, "Nice, fully lucid!" I headed straight out the front door and out onto the street. The street was totally different to what I was expecting. There were tall, thick trees on either side of the road, and a big red London bus was passing by. I ran alongside it, planning to cling to the side and hitch a ride, but it fell over out of the blue. It wasn't a massive crash or anything, it just went over onto its side. I was puzzled, and put it back on its wheels just by thinking it. I seemed to have very good direct control here. That could have been the reason why I got a reset-style false awakening. I turned my head, thinking I'd woken up. Then I glanced up in the direction of the painting. In front of it was a monster. I can't remember whether it even had a body, I was so focused on the head. The head was green and black, made up of the green of the grass and black of the cow from the painting. The colours were mashed together to create a hideous visage and evil expression- and it was glaring right at me. For a second I just froze with fear. It was so incredibly real. It was like it was actually in my room. I shut my eyes and had another FA. This really doesn't do it justice at all. Add several degrees of scariness and a bit of masculinity to this one. There it was again. My heart started thumping as soon as I realised it was still there. I tried my absolute hardest to get out of bed, but it was like all my muscles only half worked. My back barely did at all- making it very hard to sit up. I had an idea. I raised my arm to the monster and said, "Wanna help me out here mate?" Its head moved slightly, seemingly considering my request. Then it took my hand. Its arms looked like they were made of a pale white plastic, but its hand felt human, if a bit clammy. It pulled me out of the bed and I tried to stand. Unsuccessfully. I fell onto the floor. Looking up, I saw my girlfriend had mysteriously appeared. I was about to have semi-paralysed sex with her but I had yet another false awakening. By now I was getting used to the monster's face, so I looked round ready for it. He had a new trick up his sleeve this time though. The face of a snarling dog now accompanied him, and they were both a lot closer than before. Scared as I was, I asked him for help once more, and he obliged. For some reason, he started to remind me of my friend Hugh. This time I could stand a bit better, which improved even more when I took a few steps whilst rubbing my hands. I looked around my room, which had grown to about three times its normal size. My friend Mark was brushing the floor. I had the idea to try the advanced task of the month- "stand on your head"- literally with your head under your foot. "All right Mark," I said. "Decapitate me." "Uh... how?" he asked. "Ehh... use the brush maybe? Or smash that clock in half and use it as a blade." I pointed at a big glass clock on my wall which I binned in real life years ago. I tried to walk over to Mark, but kept getting pulled back towards my bed by an invisible force. It was really frustrating, and through fighting it too hard, I woke up.

[J.D.]

02.05.2010 Get Psyched (DILD) NON-DREAM DREAM LUCID In the last five nights I've probably had about 6 hours sleep, so I've been off my game. Had a solid lucid this morning though. I can't remember it in great detail because I fell back to sleep right after it. I was in some kind of football game in a school gym. A bunch of my friends were playing, and the ball was about the size of a tennis ball. I took a running jump to try and catch the ball out of the air, and to my suprise, I glided a bit. I thought about it, and decided I was dreaming. I spent some time flying around the gym from wall to wall and floor to ceiling. I noticed a big CD player sitting on a windowsill and floated over to investigate. I pressed a button and some weird unidentifiable music came on. "Screw this," I said, and pressed the pause button, which caused it to freeze and repeat the same note over and over. "Time for the 'get psyched' mix!" I pressed pause again and "You give love a bad name" by Bon Jovi came on. I had been thinking about the benefits of having my own "get psyched" mix play in my dreams yesterday, so I was glad to have an opportunity to try it so soon. I listened very carefully to the song, making sure all the parts were there- the drums, guitar, voices... I didn't notice anything missing. Perfect sound quality. For some reference! There was plenty more to this dream, but I can only remember the very end, where I crossed the street with my girlfriend and had sex out in the pouring rain. The position I was in was far too similar to the position I was sleeping in, so it woke me up. As I was emerging from the dream, I made a mental note to "do a reality check, no matter what". I can't remember what happened next at all. Complete blank.