This dream has been bothering me sooo much. Help interpreting?? Pleasee?

[SamSinuous]

For the past 3 nights i have been having this dream were i'm hanging out with some guy, now, this guy is (by my standards) smokin' hot, like really sexy, he is no one that i have ever seen before in my life and every time he is a different person. We are always having fun, laughing, like all friends do, and i am feeling pretty happy. We are usually in some place that looks like a dining area with tables and chairs and such. In the dream we end up kissing, like making out, tongue and everything, but never for a long period of time and he is never a good kisser. Afterwards i feel kinda shy, like a pre-teen girl who just had her first kiss. After this he then he tells me that he would like to be my boyfriend, but first i have to break up with my boyfriend (I really do have a boyfriend in real life) and this feeling comes over me like "Oh my gosh. I cant break up with him, I love him" and i feel regretful and kind of scared or nervous maybe because i know i have to tell him that i kissed someone else and after that i always wake up.

[Burned up]

Just because you dream of a perfect lover, it doesn't mean you can't also love a RL person. Whilst the first is created by your mind, probably built up from a number of ideals you have about men gathered since birth coupled with a cluster of feelings about love etc, the other is a real person who has a mind of his own (and probably dreams of his own like yours). Our RL lover can never be as good as our dream lover!!! But that's not the point. In your dreams you are going through in your mind the process of engaging in a loving relationship, something you can take that out into the real world. Some say we're connecting with a feeling we were born with, when we were totally dependent on a caring relationship for our survival. Whatever, the love feeling is a very human one. These kinds of dream are very normal. I would me more concerned if you didn't have these dreams, or rejected these dreams, and didn't know what to do with loving feelings. I would welcome these dreams because by doing so you are welcoming love into your life. I guess it's the part about "him" asking you to break up which concerns you. Well, that's probably your personal value of loyalty to one person kicking in. Tell "him" (and you can do this by bringing "him" to mind during your waking hours) that you need his help in the real world, not to give you anxieties in the dream world. Remember, "he" is yours.

[daeryk]

The boyfriend symbolism is about thoughts or personality traits that you really like and don't want to separate from. So this hot sexy guy who wants to be your boyfriend, but wants you to break up with your current one is just a symbol. It represents you needing to give up something to get something. You have to stop behaving, thinking, or believing something in order to attain something new that you really like. The dream sounds like a symbolic message about inner dialog about mental or emotional changes.

[Cacophony]

I think that this is a really normal dream to have. I think that you're also realizing that the boyfriend you are with right now is better than some "dream" hot guy. Also, there's nothing wrong with having a "dream lover." There have been people on this forum who have had full relationships with dream characters for long, extended periods of time.

[shiraniaori]

What they said, but quite honestly, I would probably assume it's not as secret as daeryk presumed. The first dream could have been a fairly normal dream about wanting to be loved, or wanting to feel love, etc etc. But that brings up the possibility of what if you find someone who is perfect? What if you found someone who loved you while you still had your boyfriend. How would that make him feel? That's a scenario. Although from the sounds of it, it seems like your more worried about getting passionate and caught up in the moment, and doing something that you would regret. Those are a couple possibilities. What do you think?

[daeryk]

I'd have to respectfully disagree. Dreams are symbolic messages about what is happening right now, or even what a person's intuition is leading towards. The most significant part of the dream is where she doesn't want to break up with her boyfriend. Since she almost certainly isn't thinking that in real life it's becomes a symbol by default for something she is thinking. So then the dream is saying she doesn't want to separate or change something she is thinking in any way. And so you have the situation where there is some new very attractive personality trait, or development in her life that is possible or that she is "flirting" with. In order to have it she has to give up or break away from something else she is thinking or some other life situation. The whole dream then becomes about the need to sacrifice in order to attain or develop something else.

[Burned up]

@daeryk I'm always torn between a symbolic interpretation of a dream and a more direct interpretation. Given the power of the very strong "love" feeling, I think this dream taps in to our need to be made whole, and this is such an archetypal situation which many of us recognise both in dreams and in real life. If anything, I think we take symbolism from this archetype rather that it being the result of some other kind of symbolism. But as with all these things, we only have a glimpse of the dreamer's unconscious, and I really hope the dreamer returns to the trhead for feedback. Have to say I'm liking reading your posts. Refreshing to see an independent angle on the dreams here

[daeryk]

Burned Up, I have two problems with your take. 1. A direct interpretation would contain a lot more literal content. In this case the dreamer has nothing in common with the dream accept that they recognize the people. There were no waking life confrontations or situations that influenced the dream in a way that can be explained with the content of the dream. 2. Having personally researched dreams of real people in large databases and worked with them directly, I can say with complete confidence that virtually every dream a person has is a message with underlying intelligence. Your take is too ambiguous and fails to see a much more sophisticated theme of an actual language. Dreams almost always follow storylines, and if dreams were mere fragments from the unconscious where our brains were simply sorting garbage they would end up being a lot less interesting. Why would we experience flying, super human powers, ridiculous situations, or have consequences if there wasn't an intelligence behind it all? Why wouldn't dreams just be remnants of mundane tasks like brushing your teeth, chewing your food, or walking to work? The reason is because there is purpose behind them. Like chinese they are difficult to decode and take years to master even a basic understanding. The only barrior to a complete human realization that dreams are symbolic messages is mankinds indifference and human eog. No one cares to spend the time to meticulously decode every little symbol based on sound research of actual dreams, and no one thinks they are doing anything wrong. Without this no person can even begin to see the language and that "someone" is actually speaking to us with motivations that are completely focused on teaching. Without a basic satisfactory vocabulary in symbolism people on the earth are like babies who aren't mature enough to grasp the language of their parents. The fact of the matter is that dreams are a language that has been developed in such a way that it virtually guarantees that every message is personal and requires time monitoring ones own thoughts to fully grasp the message. God has so perfectly constructed it that it ensures that people who don't care to look or spend time examining themselves will never see it. Think of it like this. Dreams are a language that God has setup that will never allow you to understand it until you give up arrogance, selfishness, and begin to focus on other people. A simplistic elegance with a touch of irony. God's trademark.