I wish the dreams would just go away, what do they mean?

[adjecyca]

It seems i never go a week without dreaming these two things, and i always wake up crying or shaking...I don't know how to deal with it. Dream 1: It starts off (usually) with my being rushed to the hospital because i tried to kill myself, my friend is there with me, and i start to tear at my eyes, he tells me to stop and tries to stop me but it doesn't work, but even though i tore my eyes out i could still see (and i don't want to see). I feel very uneasy, but at the same time, comfortable with the fact that my friend is with me. Than he ends up leading me to a dark room which turns out to be a lab, and he doesn't speak and just leads me to a tube and in the tube is a baby, the baby opens it's eyes and says "i'm not you" I usually feel relieved when the baby says that it isn't me but still i wake up crying. Dream 2: Starts off back when i was in foster care, one of the worst foster homes i was in, and i'm looking for the dog because he was my only friend, and i can't find him, so i keep running and running looking for him and i just can't( i feel really really scared at this point almost lost) i usually give up and than an old friend from the foster home starts to read me a story, but than he disappears, and i'm scared again, and can't find him(at this point in my dream i am freaking out), then the same friend from dream the dream 1 appears just looks at me and smiles and takes my hand, and leaves part of me behind (i'm not really sure how to explain this, when he takes my hand, one me steps out of the other) and he starts to lead me out, but the me that's being left behind is still scared and is still freaking out,But the other me is feeling okay and it's usually around this point that i wake up...

[Burned up]

Hi adjecyca I get two very powerful feelings coming through. In the first dream, I'm sensing a kind of panic. A panic that perhaps life is too much, and when I read about the baby it's like you want to start again. The "I'm not you" sounds incongruous. Are you really so relieved? Maybe because of what you would have to become if your life was different? The second dream has some echoes of the same feeling but the sense of isolation and looking for a companion comes through strongly. Dreams tend not to be historic so much as our minds constructing sequences based on our desires and fears etc. In this case a fear that you can't cope alone. The dog, and the friend for that matter, seem to give you a sense of security. In both dreams I'm taken by the splitting that goes on. At the end of dream 2 this is obvious with you literally splitting. Conventionally, splitting is a defense against what we can't tolerate. Whatever the freaking-out part of you represents, you're suppressing that and living your life as the cool person who walks away. I get a sense of the same in dream 1 although not nearly as graphic. Your upbringing sounds like it could have given you many fears and whilst you cope by just getting on with life when you're awake, during sleep your defenses are down and they come back. What to do? Well, there are peobably as many answers as there are people willing to give you one. For my part, I would encourage you to get in touch with the scared side of you - try and be aware of him/her/it when you're awake. Providing a bridge between your dream mind and your waking mind may help to make the fears tolerable. Whilst they won't go away, they shouldn't bother you so much. If that sounds tricky, find someone who will listen to you without judgement. This too will help make the intolerable, tolerable. A counselor can help here, or a trusted friend. Keeping a dream journal can also help to bridge the dream-waking divide, indeed this site has a facility to do just that!