Thank you, Lseadragon, for your answer. The dream is still bugging (ha!) me, and I have huge knot in my stomach.
I know what the dream refers to, but somehow I had hoped that a dream this symbolic would give me guidance. But I feel that it's only confusing me.
Something has happened in my life, and there are two people who I do find unnerving at the moment. And somehow I feel that it's ok to open up here, among dreamers. So here goes...
I'm 31 years old, no kids. Been with the same guy for 10 years, married for 4. We're quite happy, there's nothing really wrong with our lives or our relationship. I love him dearly. But our sex life has died down, although I'm a very sexual and passionate person. I don't know what it is on his part, but he just doesn't seem to be interested in having sex with me. And this has been going on for years. I want more, he doesn't. And until now, I had been willing to submit to this. And I've always been very faitful, I've never even felt the need to look for someone else.
But last weekend I went to visit my friend, who lives in Switzerland. She had to fly abroad for work, but she let me stay in her appartement. So I got to hang out by myself. I had arranged to meet another friend, but she had to work too. This friend, though, had set me up with a male friend of hers. It was supposed to be a night of hanging out, drinking wine and listening to live jazz. But it turned out to be so much more.
As you might have already guessed, I spent the night with this guy. We really hit it of, had so much fun, I enjoyed it (as did he), and I didn't feel guilty in the morning. Quite the contrary, I wanted to just stay with him. But my plane was leaving and I had to go. We decided to become good friends and maybe see each other again.
And as soon as I left, I started missing him. At first I thought that this could have been just my little adventure, but it was something more. For him too, I think. I haven't told anybody and I'm not going to. But I feel that something has shifted. The hummingbird won't leave me be.
I also feel, that this doesn't actually have anything to do with my husband. Although I have to say, that after I've come home from my trip, he hasn't made any sexual advances towards me.
I've left some part of me with this other guy. We've sent some emails, and I think about him all the time. I'm a very grounded person, I don't easily get overwhelmed. But all of a sudden I'm kind of infatuated, I feel that I have to get know this new person better.
So, this is my emotional crisis. This might all be my fear of really committing to my life and starting a family. But for some time now I've been wondering, if this is the life I truly want.
I'm so happy there's this great forum where the anonymity gives me a chance to be open. I'm a big dreamer, but usually my dreams are just entertaining, not perplexing. But then again, my life has been quite simple up until now. But being among fellow dreamers makes me feel safe.
And sorry if my English is a bit lacking...
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