Adviser Dream Interpretation

[Madeen]

This is everything I can remember: I was seeing my English adviser except he was wearing clothes that were not his usual clothes. They were tight fitting jeans and a modern looking button down shirt. His hair was dark black, and it was long and flowing, and he had a beard. I spent a lot of dream trying to convince people that he looked really different. I can't remember feeling like anyone was telling me that he looked normal, but I felt like no one was paying attention. I was sure it had something to do with his clothes; it took a long time for me to realize his hair was different too. I dreamed that he was part of a society that hated me and was trying to sabotage me. I was really surprised in the dream that he didn't like me. At one point when I was trying to tell some people he looked different, he walked by wearing his normal clothes (khaki pants, older style button down shirt), with his normal hair (medium length graying-blond wavy). I tried to point out how he looked normal again, but still no one paid attention. I wasn't scared in the dream, just apprehensive and confused. Extra info: I'm female and 20 years old. My adviser and I get on pretty well. We are both really awkward around each other when we have office meetings because we're both awkward people, but he seems to like me, and I've taken 3 of his classes so far and done increasingly well in them. I'm not physically attracted to him at all. I have a bad relationship with my father which causes me to look up to the male authority figures around me. Often I have crushes on them or idolize them. Like I said, I'm not attracted to my adviser, but I highly respect him as a scholar, and I enjoy and appreciate his teaching and advising styles. The weird thing about this dream is that when I woke up, I realized that this was the closest thing to a nightmare, I've had in the last 2 years. I'm not sure what other info would be helpful, but I am willing to answer anything you might need to know. Thank you.

[underhiswing]

It is interesting that you dream of telling people about him, and they are not believing you, and then in the part of your explanation of your thoughts regarding him, it seems that you are doing that very thing. It indeed makes it difficult to believe that you are NOT attracted to him. Is that possible? In the dream, he morphs into a more casual, attractive (long flowing dark hair) and rebel (beard) male type from his normal state, and then he morphed back to his normal/socially/uptight self again. I have a couple of questions. First, there are people not believing you in the dream and this upset you and that feeling remained when you woke. How does this relate to the difficulties that you had with your father. Who is it that tends to not believe you in real life? Second, who is it that you wished would really change...your advisor, or your father....or both?

[Madeen]

You're right. I was doing that in the post... hmmm. Well I'm pretty sure I'm not attracted to him. I think I'm just a little defensive about things like that because I have had crushes on other professors, and so I didn't want anyone to just jump on that train of thought for no reason. I'm not sure if this has anything to do with anything, but I do have a crush on my History adviser. Actually, that might have been the cause of the overactive defensive stance. Since they occupy a similar status in my life, I feel like I need to keep the differentiation in my feelings for them rigid. I just had a thought about the people not listening. I said that in the dream no one was paying attention. That's true, but I was really just repeating it over and over. There wasn't anyone in particular around that I was purposely saying this to. Maybe I was saying it to myself. Maybe I was the one not listening/believing? This would fit far better with the situation with my dad. The issue with my dad has a lot to do with his anger. We have spent a large majority of the past 7 years arguing. We often would go months without speaking. He never hit me or anything, someone would just make the other angry, and there would be a period during which we would cease interacting. He's tried working on his anger, but he always relapses. Last Thanksgiving I moved out of the house telling him that I wanted to cut off all communication. He respects me enough to do this. Ever since then, everyone I know has been telling me that "things will work out" and that I "should reach out to him". I know that if I want to have a relationship with him ever again, the ball is firmly in my court, and sometimes I do want to contact him. I just don't know if I could ever make myself do it. He and I were never good at expressing feelings, and I know that reaching out would be a clear expression of whatever my emotions are. I'm not comfortable with that. So maybe in the dream, I'm trying to tell myself that my dad has changed, and that I should reach out to him, but I'm not listening. Does any of this sound possible?

[underhiswing]

If you were angry that those in the dream who weren't believing you, I can see that the anger symbol in the dream could be related to your father, In real life it is common for a women to have difficulty in seperating her feelings for her father and her feelings for her mate/boyfriend/husband. They can subconsciously blend. I think that your desires and feelings regarding older men is the prominent idea/subject of the dream. Seems like you would benefit from time alone in order to do some real soul searching about your own desires and feelings. It is always healthier to have good relationship with your father. You will then make wholesome correct choices in men. It is quite possible that if you made up with your dad you would no longer be attracted to older men, and see men of your own age more appealing...you will find that you have much more in common them.