I had a screwed up dream that wasn't a nightmare for once, and unlike most of my dreams this one was really coherent, linear. Almost as coherent as waking life.

So for a bit of context, I've been hunting for a crappy student job recently. I'm a 19 year old, gay (this will be important in the context of the dream) female, and the only place I have ever worked is a call center. I stayed there for a year and quit this past Saturday because I just don't have the patience to deal with pushing people into doing some small selfless thing they don't want to do, and because I love to sing and the fact that my voice was always sore worried me.

I had this dream I got hired someplace... Pizza place maybe? And they had me in back because they usually put conventionally attractive women of below average intelligence in the front, as customers (men especially) are far less likely to get irate that way. At least, that's what my best friend says, and since she started telling me about her experiences working in fast food, I've been noticing these things when I'm in the lineup for tea and such. Anyway, also in the back there was this girl/woman around my age, who had sort of been... Automatically marked out as a rival for me by the dream itself.

And... I remember her being very sexy, to me. Like, big round ass, busty, waist-length black hair, nearly everything that's attractive to me in life. But she was... Catty? Personality-wise, like, kind of the head cheerleader in every shitty high school movie. The queen bitch.

And I remember having this emotional outburst about something unrelated to work
on like my first or second day on the job, annd everybody stared. Not that "haha you shouted and cried and whatnot at work" kind of thing, but almost... Admiringly, and astonished. I dunno, it was like they hadn't seen anybody with any passion for anything lately. And now that I think of it, everyone but the hot woman were sort of all in the background. She was the only one I experienced in any worldly way whatsoever, let alone sensual or sexual. It was as if they were stepford wives or something.

Anyway, one day I wandered way too far into the back, because the back of this place seemed to go on forever, wayyy past the kitchen and the storage room etc.
And everything, the walls and freezers and ceiling and floor and whatnot were all this bright white, and kept impeccably clean. So clean that eventually if you went far enough in, you couldn't tell where the walls or the ceiling or anything ended or began anymore. It was like you were just walking into a blinding light

But once you get past that part, which I did because once I couldn't find the ceiling anymore I panicked too much to turn back (I didn't even know which way back WAS anymore), you get to this... Other reality that's like this vast, enormous, white stone table-top. And I could tell it was rectangular even though the entire world was only on like a corner of it. And there were humans there, just like us, people with families and whatnot, but their social structure was like a beehive, or something.

This woman who had been my enemy, the one with the black hair, she was the queen there. Not in a monarchly sense, but like... Exactly the same way bees have a queen.
And it was wretched, everybody hated eachother. Nobody seemed to live very long and it was so much work and scarcity and whatnot all over the place, but it wasn't like it was because she was a shitty queen. It was like their culture went that way, like it was supposed to or something.

And I kind of looked around and got a feel for it very fast, you know how you learn things in dreams in minutes it would take weeks to figure out in life? So I left, and this is one of the weirdest things: I don't know where I went. I have a feeling like I walked off the edge of the table and spent some time in the empty space off the side of it or something. But I don't remember it AT ALL, so I'm pretty much just guessing about the walking off the edge part.

And I came back and they were under attack. It was total chaos, people rushing around, dying everywhere, your usual disaster scenario. And, having not grown up as part of this world, it was like I was... Way less desensitized to it than everyone else? Funny how details like that occur to you in a dream. But in any case I panicked and immediately ducked behind this slab of broken marble and there were two kids there. A brother and a sister. The girl was older, I'd say maybe, six? Seven?

And I was crouching there beside them, we were all waiting for a safe(r than usual) second or two to run under this altar-ish table-y type thing in the middle of the whole place, which had this white cloth over it that reached to the floor like a curtain. Once you were out of sight behind the cloth you were safe for some reason.

And they looked at me funny for hiding because I think the women are supposed to be the big brave ones to them, especially the little girl moreso than her brother. Her overall impression was "what are you doing?" judging by the look in her eyes. And incidentally I remember her eyes were greenish blue.

I remember saying, because I wasn't afraid we'd be heard over the screams and whatnot, "You ever wish for something better? Anything other than fighting and work and crap? Don't you ever want to just relax in relative safety with room and time to learn and grow and just enjoy life and shit?" or something along those lines, which is in of itself weird because nine times out of ten I do not talk in dreams. My muteness is never treated as weird or unusual, it's just there, as much a part of my being as my height or my name.

Her response was a "What?"/"I don't know" because it was like (judging by her eyes again) the concepts of safety and peace and whatnot didn't exist to these people, only the words for them. So we ran, and her dad was out there in the chaos and terror, and she was real surprised, it was like they had given him up for dead right away. And she was going stop and defend him, because there's something about just being female in that world in the dream that makes you able to take on like five angry men. But she noticed I was halfway cornered by a group of about five people, and these included women, whereas it was only guys after her dad. So she went for me instead, and we kind of tag teamed and fought them off. And in the process of that I learned on my feet/impromptu-ly how to use said female wonderpowers that can make a six year old girl able to fight off a group of guys.

And predictably (and this is REALLY weird, because consequences don't happen that realistically in my dreams, and people almost never get killed no matter how screwed they were five seconds ago) the guys overtook her dad and he totally died, but the kids and I made it to under the curtain altar-y thing.

And I remember thinking in that moment that, holy crap, the fact that she sacrificed her dad to get my butt to safety means obviously she must dream of something better. No way would she have thought my life was important otherwise. Because their culture didn't run like that, nobody's life was important except your own family's and the queen, and only the queen because she would kill you otherwise, and even your family not that much.

But then there was this... Time skip to when whatever happened that everyone was fleeing for their lives for is long over and everything's been rebuilt and whatnot. And the woman I found sexy from the pizza joint is still their queen, and I kind of... Stepped out of someplace, I don't know where. It was like I hadn't been seen for a while, maybe I was gone again, like when I disappeared the first time and came back and found them under attack. And the girl was older, she was like a preteen.

And I walkedright up to their queen, stood about a foot in front of her, and I looked her in the eye and told her off and I projected my voice so everyone would hear me, like you do in waking life when you're giving a lecture or a speech or something to a big room. I told them all I could make a better queen, and while I was saying this I knew I would have to overthrow her to make it happen, and I figured this was how she became queen in the first place minus the "I can do this better" part. Which I suppose is the only deviation from bees, as they make their queens by feeding 'em hormones.

ANYWAY, she took a step forward and she was all intense-looking and mad at me and whatnot (and sexy!!) and I could tell she was going fight me. When nobody else stepped in I realized they must have decided if she couldn't defeat me she was too weak to be the queen anyway. We wrestled for abotu ten or twenty seconds and I guess I must have tapped into those powers the women have and kind of... Made her mine?

I mean, there was no rape, but it was some kind of mental domination that culminated in sex, and it was like I had used my intensity and passion and whatnot to do it somehow, which I guess is why no one had challenged her before, not even the women. And it was like they wouldn't acknowledge a new queen as queen until she had had sex with the former queen in front of all of them, and the new queen had to be in complete control and on top and everything. But it wasn't disturbing at the time because it was treated as normal, and because she did enjoy it, I think she had been waiting to be defeated for a long time.

And the other disturbing part was that I knew at the time, that soon after I stepped in as queen I'd have to kill her. They would not let me keep her around, even as a prisoner or a slave or anything, it was COMPLETELY against their rules as a society.
And I dreamed that about three or four days passed, during which I began reforming everything and continued to have sex with her- but there was no force involved this time, we were lovers, actual ones, almost like we'd have been wife and wife one day if we'd had the time to get close.

And then I killed her. I had her beheaded, in the throne room at supper time in front of all the top leaders and thinkers of the day, in a black dress just like every other queen before her went out. And it was respectful, there were all these traditions around it of making sure it was dignified for her and whatnot. And then the dream timeskipped again to one morning shortly after, when I got up and looked outside to find that green patches were growing, because soil had appeared out of nowhere in various spots on the marble, and the altar-y thing was gone, and people were happier than they'd been. And they were wearing colours other than white for the first time I'd ever seen.
And as soon as I realized that they weren't all wearing white anymore, I woke up this morning.

I honestly think it shocked me so much to see them wearing colours that it was the shock that woke me.